


You're Everywhere {LevixReader}

by bloodoflevi



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-24
Updated: 2015-06-09
Packaged: 2018-02-18 14:23:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 29
Words: 58,873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2351558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bloodoflevi/pseuds/bloodoflevi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You had known him in the underground and had a confusing relationship with him. When he left for the military he told you to run, to not get caught by Erwin. You had a reputation similar to his, although you were more of a killer than he was. You kept a low profile, and were never caught. </p><p>You started going beyond the walls and fighting titan's on your own. You were a one man army, and had grown to like it. Until you were chased down by Erwin, captured by him and Levi. Levi is forced to train you as a soldier just as Erwin had to him. He treats you like any other rookie, and acts like he doesn't remember nor care about you. </p><p>That is, until you confront him.<br/>There is still a spark there, and it's not long before it will ignite.<br/>Warning: There is cussing and smut.<br/>THIS STORY IS ALSO ON WATTPAD: If you want to follow me, bloodoflevi is my username!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Betrayal

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoy the first part, it's a bit short. But I feel like it's a good introduction to the fanfiction. Looking forward to writing it all ^.^

I sat on the railing of my shitty apartment enjoying the comfort of the stars, sending the dark sky alight. I heard the distant screams of unknowing tourists as they entered the underground, only to be mugged several seconds later. It’s surprising, that there are still people stupid enough to come down here. I took a bite of my bread while adjusting my 3DM gear, preparing for my night endeavours. I craved for the feel of real air rustling my (h/c) hair in the wind. I decided it was time, and jumped off the ledge, landing on the ground with a thump. I pulled by comforting cloak around me, shielding me from the unwelcoming air. My eyes gazed at what were probably the screamers, their blood soaking the ground beneath them. When will people learn. 

When I had successfully climbed the wall, I allowed myself to look at the ruins beneath me, oh how humanity as fallen. I draw my attention to the forest that resided in front of me, eager to jump into its depths and outside of the claustrophobic walls. When I engaged my first titan, I slit its neck with swiftness, using its body to kick off to another, in which I slashed the neck of in a matter of seconds. This was how I let off steam, let off my hatred for the world. I was alone, and it was how I liked things. Attachments lead to nothing but disappointment, I made my may further into the forest, listening to the rustle of leaves against the wind. I continued killing whatever titans entered my path, I was at peace and I let my anger take over. This soon formed into rage. 

I was about to continue making my way through the forest, until a sound caught in my ear. One of the sounds, seeming like a 3DM gear wire, the other sounded of a gallop of a horse. I had to be hearing things, no one would dare to be out here. No one unless…

I started running, lifting off with my gear, shooting my wires at the nearest tree. After all this time, why now? I asked myself, while gaining speed. Whoever it was, wouldn’t be able to keep up with me. My speed almost seemed inhuman, I swung through the trees with expertise, yet the sounds were still close behind me. Whoever it was should have fallen behind by now. I saw a shadow behind me, and a slight flick of raven-black hair. I continued moving through the forest, getting faster and faster. It was silent for a moment, then I was tackled to the ground by an unknown figure.

I saw the survey corps logo, and without checking who it was, hit them back, trying to get them to stumble. The person had a strong stature, and didn’t stumble once. We engaged in fighting, I tried to hit them with all my might, they dodged it swiftly. I needed to think quickly, as the person ran towards me with striking speed. The person hit at me, trying to lower my guard. I leapt off with my gear, beginning to move through the forest once again. I stopped at a tree, hoping to gain intel on my follower’s whereabouts. The person hurdled towards me, in the middle of dodging noticed the eyes that could belong to no one other than him. I had become distracted, which lead the follower to push be down to the ground, on top of me. My hands were pinned down with incredible strength and my heart was pounding. I noticed the silver fleck of anger in his steely grey eyes. 

“Levi” I whispered, breathless, my mind conjuring images of the past. Despite my minds current state, by body continued to struggle against him violently. His hold on me hardened, to the point of bruising. I heard the sound of galloping once again, as a horse stopped before us. The rider of the horse I recognized as Commander Erwin.

“(f/n), you’ve caused us quite a lot of trouble,” the commander spoke, his voice thick. I didn’t speak, giving him a glare of hatred. He sighed, then looked at Levi.

“Levi, handcuff her, I get a feeling she’s not going to be speaking tonight,” Levi didn’t speak, yet just took out the handcuffs and placed them on me, I could have fought and freed myself, but I was too stunned to even move. He lifted me up, pushing me forward towards the horse attached to Erwin’s.

“She’s stopped struggling I see, it’s about time,” I heard Erwin speak, and my anger bubbled up furiously. Levi pulled me up, with him to his horse, practically holding all my weight. I sat in front of him on the horse, his arms encasing me in a prison I couldn’t escape from. He kicked the horse, and we began riding back towards the wall. I needed to speak, I needed to yell at him. But what was the point. The Levi I had known my entire life, obviously wasn’t the Levi now. I had heard rumours, of him being humanity’s strongest and humanity’s hope but I dismissed them. I felt his breathing against my back, steady and controlled. I dared to look up at him, yet he wore the same bored expression I had remembered. Whereas myself, I didn’t try to hide the betrayal in my eyes.


	2. Manipulation

All I could feel was humiliation, humiliation when I was thrown in the room attached to Levi’s, humiliation when I was handcuffed to the bed, humiliation when I was told to not attempt at escaping.

Humiliation when I managed to speak “Levi” I sounded broken, more desperate than anything. And I hated myself for being so vulnerable. But the humiliation hit its peak when Levi turned to me, his eyes looking right through me and spoke. 

“That’s corporal to you, brat,” The anger that bubbled inside of me, was enough for me to break the handcuffs, but what good would that do? They would just continue after me, I stared at the stars from the window located beside the bed. And I felt an ache in my chest, breaking me from the inside out.

************************************************************************************************

I woke up to the screeches of Isabel’s screams, my body involuntarily shaking.  
“Isabel, I’m so sorry,” I whispered. My head shot up, my hand knocking against the handcuffs. I wondered whether Isabel and Farlan had survived as long as Levi, and whether they were here. I whimpered, lying back down, wondering if I was going to get any sleep.

When morning peeked through the window and sunlight hit my face, I awoke. Surprised at that I was able to sleep, I sat up. In perfect timing, Levi stormed through the door, acknowledging the fact that I was awake. He walked over, unlocking the cuffs. 

 

“Don’t you dare run,” he warned, glaring at you, eyes blazing. At that moment, as he looked at me like I was nothing but dirt on a rug, I decided not to be the pathetic mess I was becoming. Nothing ever got to me, and I wasn’t going to let this. I let my hatred for the world and strength take over my mind again, and raised my eyes to meet his. I gave him my icy glare and stood. 

“Wouldn’t think of it, Corporal,” I spat, never wavering my gaze. He clicked his tongue, making the sound “Tch” then walked out the door. I followed him, my steps light yet my body feeling extremely heavy. I was led outside to what looked to be a training ground, where a group of people stood talking. They turned to Levi, saluting him. Then looked at me, their eyes warm, I erased whatever friendly motions I could be giving them with a dark stare, warning them. 

“Hello, I’m Petra,” a girl with strawberry blonde hair and welcoming amber eyes, she pointed at a man with blonde hair that was tied up at the back, “That’s Eld,” she then pointed at an average height man with black hair that was slicked into a point at the back, his eyes serious, “That’s Gunther, and that annoyance is Oluo” she pointed at the last guy, who looked to be impersonating Levi, sporting the same hairstyle, the same condescending glare and a cravat, it was amusing, seeing someone try to be Levi. You stifled a laugh as the group looked at you expectedly. 

“And you must be (y/n),” the girl named Petra finally spoke. 

“Mhm,” I muttered rudely, disappointing her. In the corner of my eye, I saw Levi glaring at me. What are you expecting, for me to jump on her and cuddle her? I thought, glaring at him with an equally menacing look.

“I want you all to train in preparation for the upcoming expedition, as well as making sure you know the formation to every detail. No slacking off, this expedition is extremely important.” Levi said, sending his group off. He then grabbed my arm and pulled me as he walked. I shrugged his grip off and continued walking on my own, keeping my distance from him. We reached what I assumed to be Erwin’s office, as Levi barged through, causing Erwin to look up from the stack of files piled on his desk. His eyes met mine, and a smile hung on his lips. 

“(y/n), glad you’re still here,” he sounded surprised, but brushed it off completely the continued, “I’m here to make you an offer.”

 

“Hah, an offer usually means I have a choice,” I retorted, my eyes not leaving his.

“You have a choice, you just may not like the options. It’s simple, you either join the Survey Corps and help humanity win this war, or I turn you over to the Military Police. As you know, they’ve been looking for you for years. You’ve built quite a reputation for yourself. I’m surprised you’ve survived this long,” I became mad at the doubt in his voice, although it didn’t matter what he thought, it still irritated me when people doubted my skills. 

“They’re useless. Go ahead, hand me over to them and see how long it takes for me to escape, while their heads are shoved up their asses.” I told him, and I noticed the hint of a smirk form on Levi’s lips. I moved closer to Erwin, my voice in a whisper, “If you were going to hand me over to them at the slightest objection, you wouldn’t have brought me here. I’m not one to be easily frightened, so I dare you, to try harder.”

Erwin had a smirk strewn across his face, at least he has a good sense of humour. “There’s one thing I have been meaning to ask you,” he stated, curious.

“Call me intrigued, Commander,” I mocked, the sarcasm in my tone strong. 

 

“I’ve observed you for a while now, and I can’t help but notice your determination for killing titans. You spend every night outside the wall, killing them. Which makes me wonder as to why you wouldn’t want to join the Scouting Legion,” I knew he was going to speak of this, he was so goddamn predictable.

“If you’ve been observing me, as you said. Then a smart man such as yourself must have realised that I am a typically lone wolf,” I said coldly, wondering as to what he was going to say next. 

“Being the smart man that I am, as you so politely complimented, I have noticed this. I was suspicious as to why, so I managed to get a hold of your file,” he held up a thick document, with the military police mark stamped upon it, I couldn’t help but grin. “But for such a thick document, hardly any personal information was to be found.” 

“That’s a shame, although I do appreciate your efforts,” my sarcastic remarks failing me, the situation was just to amusing to not make fun of.

“Although, I was able to dig deeper and found some rather interesting photos, including yourself with a soldier I am familiar with myself,” he handed me the photo, which I immediately recognised as myself, laughing with Isabel, it was one of the very few times I was actually happy. We didn’t even know the photo was being taken at the time, but Farlan snuck it in during our fits of laughter. If he knew about them, did he know about Levi? You looked up at Erwin, that intelligent bastard. He’s trying to hit something in me, if you want to play it that way, commander. 

I grabbed Erwin’s collar and pushed him against the wall, considering the difference in size between us, he should have been easily able to get out of it. But my strength was not something to be tested. You notice a flicker of movement as Levi makes his way over, before Erwin reaches a hand out to stop him. 

“I see what you’re doing, Commander, but it seems as though you’ve underestimated me. I think you’re forgetting the fact that you are the one that brought her here, that trailed her for months to force her to join this organisation. If you think I’m going to respect you for that, then you have a harsh reality coming,” every letter I spoke came out ice cold, my glare burning a hole in his brain. 

“Short-tempered,” he stated, simply.

“I prefer to think of it as unable to be manipulated, I seriously advise you to take a different approach before I rip your tongue out, or better, kill you.” My tone was deadly serious, the room rising in tension by the second. I let him go and walked over to where I was previously sitting. Levi opened his mouth to speak, but Erwin raised his hand to stop it. 

“Let me put it this way, we can hand you over to the Military Police and you can escape, but every time you do so, We will come for you again and again. Until it becomes impossible for you to survive, you can keep running and hiding. Or, you can join the Scouting Legion and stop running, instead utilizing the skills that have been going to waste and help humanity win this war. You can honour the people that died for this cause, including people you have lost yourself by not being a coward hiding in the protection of the wall, but instead becoming a value to humanity,” He spoke well and clear, speaking only the truth. 

“I’ll be a lot more trouble than I’m worth,” I smirked evilly. I didn’t intend on folding that easily, but he was right, Isabel and Farlan had joined this, and by the sound of it had died for it too. I had already let them down once, and although there was a painful ache in my heart for not being able to say goodbye or apologize. I would honour them the best way I knew how, by killing titans. The savage beasts that had killed so many of who I knew, of who I let myself care for. I wasn’t going to change, but I wasn’t remaining a coward any longer.

“You may think you’ve won this, but I’m warning you with every bone in my body. I will kill you one day, even if I am killed along with it. I have the feeling you are still underestimating me and that you know who I am, but you’re wrong.” I spoke the truth back at him, meaning every word that was spoken.

He held his hand out, entirely serious as he did so, I took it hesitantly and noticed a flicker of surprise flash in Levi’s eyes. Not as predictable as you thought, am I corporal. Erwin looked at you with what you saw as respect and understanding, I met his eyes with loathing,  
“Welcome to the Survey Corps.”


	3. The Scent Of Bleach

I threw him to the ground, satisfied with the whimper that left his lips. I looked around me at the crowd that had now formed, Petra was grinning at me, happier than I had ever seen her. As well as the rest of Levi’s squad, that could hardly contain their laughter. 

“Lucky shot,” Oluo uttered, rising from the ground in pain. I smirked at him, flicking him on the head as I spoke. 

“There’s no such thing as luck. Maybe next time, you’ll no better not to challenge me,” he didn’t seem happy at my response, as he tried to kick my feet from beneath me, but I moved back swiftly. Causing him to lose his balance and fall to the ground once again. That was too much for the crowd that surrounded me and the pathetic form, as they all erupted into laughter. I heard the yells of a familiar voice as the crowd began to disperse, Levi making his way towards me. 

“What’s going on here?” he asked, resentment furrowing in his eyebrows.   
“Oluo’s getting kicked in the ass by karma, that’s what’s going on here,” I heard Eld reply, as he looked at me with amusement. If there was anyone that I respected in the Scouting Legion, it was Eld. He had a quiet solitude about him and didn’t pressure me to speak let alone force me to smile, he accepted the way I was and didn’t care much for the rumours that circulated about me. We had a sort of silent agreement that no one else seemed to understand. 

 

And if there was anyone that I respected the least, it was that clean-freak asshole that looked at me like dirt on his shoe. The fact that he didn’t acknowledge my existence in his life was bad enough, let alone the way he looked at me. All the years of living with Levi, having a relationship that we both respected, both alike in ways no one could understand to hating him with every blood vessel that pumped in my body. He looked down at Oluo, who was still lying on the ground, trying to get up. He finally managed to, and stood with anger that was mixed with slight embarrassment. 

“I was going easy on you, rookie. If I hadn’t held back then you’d hardly have any bones not broken in your pathetic excuse of a body,” he argued, infuriated. I stepped towards him, my aggressive (e/c) eyes staring him down until he was nothing but an ant. 

“Then enlighten me and feel free to fight me again, but I assure you, if you thought that pain was bad, it can get a whole lot worse,” my voice was bold and defiant, and I heard his heart beating faster than I could count. He stepped away from me, trying to put on a face of disgust and not fear. 

“Wouldn’t waste my time,” he said, turning to walk off. He spun around as the group burst out in laughter once again, he tensed up. Then muttered something and walked off. 

“That was really something; I haven’t seen him lose to someone that badly since the Captain beat him down. Where did you learn to fight (y/n)?” Petra asked, still giggling. Her question had a simple answer, I had learned to fight on my own, but my mind said only one thing, Levi. He had taught me more than anyone, and the flashbacks came at me like tsunamis before I had the chance to stop them.

I kicked at him with all my force, and for once he stumbled back, not predicting my actions. It didn’t last for long; he grabbed my leg and pulled it from under me, about to crash to the ground I let my feet take control, pushing myself back up. Sweat stained my clothes, little beads of sweat dripping off my forehead slowly. He was sweating just as much, but wasn’t panting as much as me. His breath was always so controlled. 

“Your reflexes are getting better,” he acknowledged, “But you need to put more force into your hits. Try and kick more from the back of your leg, rather than the front.”

I kicked him again, doing as he told me, putting more strength into it. It hit him square in the chest, his body wavering slightly. “Better,” he encouraged. 

“You could use some work on your punches, I know your strength yet you aren’t using it as much as you can,” I commented, choosing my words carefully. He nodded, understanding what I was criticising. He couldn’t help the smirk that tipped on his strict lips. 

“Maybe I’m just holding back.”  
“Me and you both know that you never hold back,” my eyes glimmering with determination. He lunged towards me, catching me off guard. His body holding down my own. 

“Never let your guard down,” he warned, danger in his breath. Tension arose between us, as I felt his breath run across my neck. I stared at him with ferocity, his eyes carving pools into my own. I knew what he wanted, and it was right there, all he had to do was take it. He leaned down further, I could smell pine and the overwhelming scent of bleach residing on him. His lips were unbelievably close to mine, and the self-control it took not to close the gap was overwhelming. I could tell he was thinking the same thing, before he pushed off me, the tension still floating in the air. 

My mind drew its attention back to the present, my breathing steadied. “No one important,” I answered her, the irritation clear in my voice. 

“Well, you’re clearly extremely talented, it makes me wonder how you’d do against the Captain,” she questioned, hope burning in her innocent eyes. I laughed internally, as the rest of the group agreed. Levi stood casually, stoic expression and all.

“What do you say, Corporal?” I mocked, sarcasm when I hit the word corporal. 

“Tch. I won’t hold back,” he narrowed his eyes at me, condescending prick. 

“Wouldn’t expect you to, Corporal”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ****************  
> Overcoming my writer's block slowly, I think. 
> 
> ARGHH, DAMN YOU BRAIN.


	4. Seen as a God

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A fairly short chapter, but I hope it’s appreciated anyway. I feel as though I needed to add this in, I don’t know why. I’m currently thinking of ideas of where to go off from here, which isn't going to well from my writer’s block.  
> Anyway, thanks for reading!  
> *****************

His lips curved up into a murderous smirk, his eyes looking through me. He had landed a hit on my stomach, and had expected me to stumble back; I used the distraction to my advantage, attacking him swiftly. My hand moved towards his jaw with bone-breaking strength as he leaned his head back to dodge it, I let my knee slam into his stomach. Now that we were even again, I let myself spit on the floor in front of him in a daring move of disgust. The fury that burned in his eyes at that moment was remarkable, amusing to me more than anything. I ignored the gasps of his team and flung myself against him once again, and soon we were engaged in a battle of strength and wits. As good as he was claimed to be, he had kept mostly the same fighting techniques from younger years. I however, had learned more and trained harder than my body could handle over the years. As pain seemed to be the only remedy for my burning regret and hatred. Despite this, I hadn’t managed to pin him down once; I had come close, but not close enough. I decided to toy with him, using a trick I had learnt over the years. I lowered my defences a small amount, enough for him to get me pinned on the ground. 

“As weak as ever,” he whispered, loud enough for only me to hear. He made the wrong choice at that moment, as I found the strength to move my leg from under him. Using my flexibility, I kicked him off me with my foot, hitting him square in the chest and sending him flying back. The heat in my leg began to die down, and I took the moment of opportunity to get on top off him, my hold never wavering. I used whatever strength my body had to keep him pinned on the ground. 

“Never let your guard down,” I spat at him, knowing he knew what I was referring to. He didn’t struggle or try to free himself from my hold, but instead took the moment to smirk at me with whatever rage he could find for me. The smirk screamed condescendence and and scorn. And I guessed that if he were to say something, it would go along the lines of worthless and superior.  
I got off him, meeting his face with my own brand of disdainful aura. When I glanced around me, I was faced with a mouth-opened squad. Petra began to speak, but quickly ran out of breath and couldn’t speak, leaving herself to look like a total idiot. Levi had already gotten up, and had started to walk back to his office. He’s probably going to wash his goddamn clothes. It was honestly what he was probably going to do when he got back. 

“Well I think it’s fair to say that that was fucking unexpected,” Eld inquired, unlike the rest of them, he seemed more impressed than anything. Whereas when I allowed a look back to Petra, it looked as though her entire body had shut down. Frozen to the point that I could barely see her breathing. He’s seen like a god around here, I thought


	5. Goodbyes Mean Nothing

Time skip: You have learnt about Eren being a titan shifter, and are going to be joining the formation on the expedition. You haven’t met Eren yet, but will be in this chapter. 

A human turning into one of them, it seemed illogical, or more so it seemed ironic. The things that are shoving us to the brink of extension may be the things to redeem it. It was a ludicrous thought, and quite sickening. 

“Whatever we have to do to win this war,” Erwin’s voice plagued my mind, itching at my curiosity. Out of all the things I had imagined, seeing such a young and what seemed innocent teenager as a killer transforming titan was not sketched in my brain in any way possible.   
His eyes were so green a meadow could be seen within them, so full of life and hurt that it almost seemed unreal. Yet here I stood, in front of any other average rookie, looking at what so many were afraid of. The thought as to whether this could be a regular occurrence interfered in my thought processes. If he could be one, what stopped others?

“Eren Yeager from the 104th training division!” He saluted me, with the utmost pride etched in his young features. The squad began watching me intently, wondering as to what my reaction would be to the titan shifter.   
“So you’re the kid that’s got everyone scared shitless,” I remarked, observing him. He noticed me staring in interest, as I saw no point in hiding it and a slight blush arose in his cheeks. I ignored it and continued, “I don’t personally don’t see it myself, the endless determination flooding your eyes makes it obvious which side you’re on.”

He seemed astonished at my reaction, bewildered was a good word for it, “When I become a titan, there is no way in telling that I can control it or not. I suppose that’s why people are so afraid, along with the fact that I’ve become what these walls are used to protect from.” At least he’s honest, “You aren’t afraid?”

“What good is fear, you never learn anything from making safe choices, and it’s the daring ones that make the difference. Something the people hiding behind these walls should begin to understand. You don’t frighten me at the least, and I doubt you will in your other form either.” I wasn’t lying; I had looked fear in the face a long time ago and come to grips with it. Everything can be conquered in this world, so what reason is there to fear it, you face the possibility of death every time you utter a breath. So fighting titans to me is looking death right in the eyes, whether you let it catch you is up to you. 

“You are one of the few I actually believe when you say that,” I understood what he meant, his eyes full of compassion and respect. 

“You’re one of the few that may actually make an impact,” I answered his unspoken question and noticed him nodding at me in reply. I began to notice at the corner of my eye, a man listening to every word spoken. None other than Levi, I had predicted, and my prediction was correct as he walked towards Eren in a normal pace, his feet barely making a sound on the ground.   
“I hate to interrupt the sob fest, but you have cleaning to do,” we had arrived at the old headquarters, the new home for Eren, the squad and me for the duration of the assignment. Levi assigned rooms for cleaning, as well as the sleeping arrangements. I had a room to myself, the furthest away from Levi’s I had noticed. What, is he like allergic to me now? You’d think humanity’s strongest would have the balls to face his past. Maybe I would just have to make him. Glamorous thoughts of ruining whatever good was in Levi’s night made me feel an oncoming victory.

We were all seated on a wooden table, much like the ones from the regular dining area back at HQ. Hange was talking about her experiments, which drove almost everyone out of the room. Leaving only myself, Hange, Eren and him. Hange continued talking away, Eren looking as confused as ever. I was tempted to interject and tell Hange to shut up, as her voice began to give me a headache. She began talking about the fact that she had joined the Scouting Legion to learn more about the titans, continuing to speak continuously; this woman really had no filter.   
Eren turned his attention to me, looking for any escape. 

“(y/n), I don’t mean to be rude or outstep any boundaries but why did you join the Survey Corps yourself?” 

“Why does anyone join the Survey Corps?” I didn’t answer him, but gave him the opportunity to let me know his opinion. 

“To be free, to take back what is rightfully ours and seek revenge from those who took it from us,” I noticed the deep pool of tears he struggled to hold back. 

“I suppose, but when would you consider yourself free, Eren? When the titans are extinct, when you are beyond the wall, when you are dead?” I knew I could have been seen as coming off too strong, but I didn’t care. 

“When I finally kill them all!” 

“I admire your determination, but you are foolish if you believe that it will be as easy as it is for you to utter the words from your mouth. No matter how strong someone is, no matter how ruthless or determined the person may be, death claims you soon enough. You’ve already escaped death countless times, and before long it will catch up with you. Saying these things will do nothing; acting on them will do everything, Eren. I have no doubt that you could be the one to win the war, but you must take into account the countless soldiers that have died. Special ability or not, even the strongest die.” 

I had expected him to start yelling, to hit something or do anything remotely immature. But his maturity surprised me, as he remained calm and took in the words I said with careful consideration. 

“You must have lost a lot to become like this,” he spoke softly, almost afraid to say the words. Hange looked at me, obviously worried at the boy’s choices in words. 

“I never had anything to begin with and I sure as hell don’t want your pity.” 

“I-I-I-I’m sor-rr-ry (y/n), I shouldn’t have said something like that.”

“Don’t apologize, brat,” the words came from the other end of the table, as Levi placed his teacup on the table, “Pathetic cowards like her talk more than they should.”

“A Coward,” I laughed a short sarcastic laugh, “Hypocritical ass, you can’t say anything about cowards.”  
“I’ll tell you what I can say,” he leaned forward, shooting me with icy glares, “I can say that all you do is run, run away from pain, run away from the truth, run away from everything, like a coward.” He spoke the last word slowly, dragging out each letter.   
Eren and Hange started moving slowly below the table, trying to hide from the fight engaging between what looked to be Humanity’s strongest. 

“You want to talk about running now, I can play this game,” I challenged him, “You ran from everything, into everything you had ever been against, you ran away from everything you’d known, not caring who you left behind in the process. You ran so far, that the past didn’t seem to matter anymore. You ran them into their deaths, and you’re too cowardly to admit to any of it,” I hadn’t meant to say it, but my anger had gotten the better of me. I didn’t regret it, but instead enjoyed the small flicker of pain flash through his stoic expression, “And because of you’re running, I didn’t even get to say goodbye.”   
It felt good to blame someone, to place some of the guilt on someone else’s chest. It was selfish, but this world was selfish. I didn’t attempt to hide the abhorrence that hit my features in every way. He had flinched at my last words, and I waited for a comeback, a comment to push the guilt back to me, but there was nothing. At least for a little while, before he spoke few but impacting words. 

“Goodbyes mean nothing in this world.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dat cliffhanger tho xD


	6. A Ripper

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I dunno where I am going with this story, but i'm sure as hell having fun writing it. I'm sorry if Levi is a bit OOC at the end, but even with his attitude I think I did it pretty well. I don't know. Please let me know what you think in the comments as well as what you would like to see happen, it's an open book right now xD  
> I also put in a little background of your life, hope you don't mind!  
> Thanks for reading!
> 
> *******************************

I hadn’t hit something so hard in a long time; I hadn’t worked myself so hard or sweated so hard since years ago. And even then, I didn’t think it could compare to this. Since there was no gym here, I was stuck hitting a fake titan used for the trainee’s practises. It felt good, the strain I was putting on my body was obvious, but nothing stopped my vendetta against this stupid mannequin titan that stood before me. I hadn’t been able to sleep, so I decided to force my body to comply the only way I knew how, pain. Memories of earlier clouded my vision.

Goodbyes mean nothing in this world. And with that I hit it harder, if that was even possible. My anger was fuelled and seemed as though it would never run out. Without myself knowing, I began to yell, it was as though my conscience knew that if I had known of the things I was yelling I would have stopped myself. And I needed to let the words go, somewhere, anywhere. I began saying names, one after another almost like a mantra. At the start it was the victims that I had killed over the years, if you could even call them victims. Then it moved to all the people I had seen die, every last one. Every name I said was met with a hit. 

“Axel,” punch, “Bain,” punch, “Ryker,” punch, “Amya,” punch. It continued for longer than it should have, but the anger didn’t wear out.

“Shahid,” brother.

“Takeshi,” father.

“Atari,” mother.

My hands began to bruise, my body begged for relief. I needed to say the last two names, I needed to respect them. As much as my body cried, I reached my arm back and threw another punch, sending the dummy further back. 

“Isabel.” 

The last one shook my arm violently, my body pulsing and my heart beating frantically. 

“Farlan,” I uttered, the words barely escaping my lips. I collapsed to the floor, my body demanding it. I hadn’t noticed the silhouette until now, my eyes grazing over where they stood by the door. How long had they been there?

“Finished with your tantrum?” the voice was as cold as the man owning it. My blood heated to the point of boiling. 

“Not just yet,” I arose at the speed of lightning, hurdling towards him and pushing him against the wall. My arm tightened around his neck. I heard the same controlled breathing it always was, and tightened my grip. He looked at me, a blank stare on his face. 

“Do you have any other emotional setting besides asshole?” I asked him, fed up with his lack of honesty. 

“I could ask you the same thing, ripper,” My breath hitched ever so slightly. Ripper, one of the many identifiers I had earned in the underground. Mainly due to the way I ripped my victims apart. I hadn’t been called by it in years, as many other identifiers had formed. I wasn’t just a ruthless murderer, or so I had thought. All I thought I was doing was ridding the world of the most horrible humans, all though it may have gone too far. I had only killed murderers and rapists, except for one day, which haunted me everywhere I went.

***********************

I had been following him for days, assuring myself as to whether he was who I thought. I had been right, he had been robbing and killing whoever he felt like. Even if children were involved, especially if children were involved actually. He took joy in watching them die; I knew this by the smile that plastered his face when his own heart stopped beating in his chest. 

I just needed to rid the world of such a sadistic man, we needed all the people we could get, and he was pointlessly killing them like flies. An innocent boy that looked to be no older than six came running out, yelling for whatever was happening to stop. I had loosened my grip on the man, no child deserved to see this. It was bad enough that he lived in the underground. I had made a mistake then, showing the remorse for the child in my eyes, showing my weakness. 

I was much younger then, and I wasn’t as skilled as I needed to be. The man had managed to get his hands on the child, taking out a knife and holding it against the boy’s neck. I made a move to him, but the man started to cut which was enough to get me to stop in my tracks. I was naïve, being as young as I was I should have known I couldn’t be as strong.

I had killed the man, and a boy had also died at my hands.  
Seeing it was so surreal, it was the moment that decided who I really was.  
A murderer, a ripper.

***************************

I stared at Levi, and released my grip on him; my anger hadn’t subsided in the least. I began walking away, back to the titan dummy. 

“Running away again? I’ve got to say, I expected more of a fight.” I drained his voice out the best to my ability, yet it still managed to get to me, “It’s good to see you’re finally learning who the superior is.”

I continued to ignore him; otherwise I would have ripped his head off then and there. I was the ripper, after all. I attacked the dummy again, hitting it with the anger that I couldn’t form into words. 

“Why so silent,” Levi had come up behind me, whispering close enough that I could feel his breath on my ear. I turned around, our faces meeting in the middle, close enough I could smell the odour of bleach that I knew all too well. I needed to catch him off guard, to get him riled up enough to get answers. There was one question tipping off my tongue. 

“How did they die?” I spoke it softly, making sure to look into his eyes in the most furious way possible. I had struck a nerve, I could tell by the way his normally controlled heartbeat rose, “Goodbyes may mean nothing, but closure is worth a lot more,” his body tensed, “You’re guilty, I can smell it on you. So why don’t you finally grow some balls to face it.” 

He lunged at me, pulling me into the same position I had had him in moments before, “I faced it a long time ago, you just weren’t there. You were never there.”

“I had put my trust in someone to not be there. But I think he’s forgotten that, I had promised him, but he broke it. Becoming all high and mighty must have been more important. You can’t even say it, can you? You killed them, and you know it.”

“You want me to say it? I killed them, my pride got in the way. I was so focused on killing Erwin that when they depended on me, I wasn’t there. I watched Isabel get crushed by a titan and I watched Farlan get eaten by one too. Is that what you want? Is that you’re fucking closure?” he yelled, intensifying his hold on me to the point of bruising. 

“I don’t blame you,” he became angrier, “I know you want me to, but I don’t blame you.”

Fire lit up in his eyes, burning me to ashes. He threw me across the ground, and I felt the pain string through me. I got up before he could hit me again, but I refused to hit him back. He needed this, and for this once I was willing to give it to him. He ran towards me, taking whatever shot he could, he got me in the stomach with such force I flew back. My body wanted to fight, and I knew if I didn’t stop him he might kill me. But I didn’t care.

“How can you not blame me?” He yelled, as he pushed me against the wall, I heard the wood crack beneath my back. “If there is anyone that should hate me, it should be you. If there is anyone to kill me one day, it should be you.”  
“I never said I didn’t hate you,” I told him, allowing myself to speak, “But I won’t be the one to kill you, Levi.”

I took his hands off me, releasing myself from his grasp. The usually calm and stoic corporal had turned into something I didn’t even recognise. I felt a tug on my arm as I had begun to walk away and turned around. 

“Why?” The stoic corporal had returned, looking at me with his neutral stare. It was a question that made me think myself, why didn’t I want to kill him? I had enough anger for him, but was the anger hate? No, it wasn’t. Because despite everything, despite the promises he broke, despite the truth he had denied me, despite the fact that he left me for dead, I couldn’t let myself hate him. 

“Because I don’t want to see you die.”


	7. Authors Note

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry if you thought this was a chapter, but I needed to write this.

After much consideration, I have decided to develop the reader's character a little bit. 

WHATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT?

Well, after reading through what wrote, I realised I have made the character extremelly alike to Levi, and almost emotionless. As much as I like Levi's character, I hate how I have portrayed the reader. As well as the fact that the reader has come across stronger than Levi, which I will be changing. Because c'mon, no one's better than Levi xD

I mean, I don't want the reader to be all lolly pops and daises, because I like the background i've given, etc. But the quote "Opposites Attract" was made for a reason and I feel that it's two simillar for my comfort. 

After the last chapter, it's a little obvious that the reader has lightened up a little on the vengance against Levi, which I intend on keeping up. But who knows. 

ALSO, NOT ALL OF YOUR FAMILY DIED BY TITANS.   
THAT SHIT HAS BEEN DONE TO MUCH, AS WELL AS THEM BEING MURDERED. I PLAN ON DOING SOMETHING ELSE, I JUST HAVE TO FIGURE IT OUT. 

I just wanted to write this to let you know that I'm thinking of doing these things, to avoid confusion. Let me know your opinions xD. 

Thanksss


	8. A Feather in Wings Of Freedom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I KNOW IT MAY HAVE BEEN WEIRD FOR ERWIN TO TRUST YOU.   
> BUT I NEED THAT RELATIONSHIP FORMED, AND HE’S AN INTELLEGENT GUY MAN, HE KNOWS WHO YOU ARE. STAHP JUDGING ME WITH YOUR EYES. 
> 
> Anyway, I feel like this chapter was more of a plot fill and recap, but I need to delve deeper in the story so this needed to happen. I also thought I needed to put in a part where you finally choose where you belong, even if it’s cheesy or whatever ^.^  
> I tried to put Levi stuff in where I could, happy reading!   
> I'm sorry if their are spelling/grammar mistakes, I didn't have any time to proof read. C:  
> Please comment or leave a kudos if you enjoyed reading!

*********************

The silence was tedious as I sat on one of the few chairs placed in Erwin’s office. He hadn’t spoken a word to me since I had gotten here, and he looked to be contemplating something. Levi stood, his back against the wall looking out the window, while Erwin continued to stare down at his paperwork.   
“Is there a reason why you called me here or are we just going to sit in silence for the next hour?” I asked, the silence getting on my nerves. 

“There’s a reason, I’m just deciding as to whether I’m making the right choice,” he told me, finally looking up. 

“I guarantee you aren’t making the right choice, Erwin,” Levi announced coldly, the ice in his words cooling the room. 

“You couldn’t have figured this out before you called me here?” I questioned him, with obvious logic. He stared at me with the same serious look he always wore. 

“No,” he answered plainly, apparently unable to use more words. 

“So are you going to tell me what I’m here for or continue not using your voice box?” I was beginning to lose my temper, and he could tell. 

“It is regarding the expedition to determine Eren’s future,” he informed me, “I am trusting very few with this information, and I am placing my trust with you.”   
Levi clicked his tongue, as he moved closer to us and leaned on a wall once again. 

“You’re placing your trust in a murderer that swore to kill you and only joined the survey corps a week ago due to not having another choice, and I thought you were smart commander,” I had used the same sarcasm I used when saying corporal with commander, hoping to get it across that he was making a bad move. 

“No. I’m placing my trust in a valuable soldier with a high set of skills who I believe will do what’s needed to be done in vulnerable situations. Think of this as a test, you fail me and you lose. You don’t fail me, you win,” he was deadly serious, but I couldn’t help but laugh at his stupidity. 

“I didn’t think someone such as yourself saw these things as a game,” I warned him, but his gaze didn’t waver. 

“I don’t. I believe I am making the right choice in trusting you,” I snorted, laughing at him, “You will also officially be joining the special operations squad,” by the look on Levi’s face, I could tell he wasn’t impressed himself.   
“I thought we agreed I was a lone wolf,” I argued, exasperated.   
“You were a lone wolf, you a now a part of the Survey Corps and you need to learn to work in a team. You will be training with Levi to work on your teamwork as well as your strength as a soldier,” he explained, his tone wary in how I was going to take it.   
“As I recall I was strong enough to beat him,” I nodded over to Levi, “which would suggest I am entirely strong enough,” I was being unfairly stubborn, but I wanted to prove my point. 

“You don’t really think you won, do you?” he walked over, his eyes bored but humoured, “As I recall, you have never once fairly won against me. For me to call it a fair win, I would have to be unable to continue. I was fully able to continue I choose not to, otherwise, I would have killed you.”   
I knew he was stronger than me, but I refused to be patronized, “You may be stronger than me, but I don’t like my own strength to be questioned. I don’t need training for my strength, nor do I need any for teamwork. I am perfectly capable to work in a team, but I will do my very best to avoid working in one.”  
“Not in the Special Operations Squad or even in the Scouting Legion. You will be working in a team, and you will be trained. You may have been used to being alone and taking down titans to your pleasure. But beyond the walls, further than you have been, it gets worse. I am placing my trust in you, so I expect you to do the same,” Erwin wasn’t the least bit frustrated, almost as if he had expected a fight.   
“I will place my trust in you, but that may result in me placing my blame in you and I will train with him, but I refuse to be patronized. I don’t understand why you are placing your trust in me, and you are most likely making a big mistake but I am a part of this damn organisation, so I will follow your command,” I stopped being stubborn, knowing that I was just being stupid and naïve.   
“Glad to hear it,” he smiled briefly, which made me notice how he rarely smiled, “The expedition is known to be an expedition in which the results determine Eren’s use to mankind. The plans for this have changed quite significantly.” He glanced at Levi, who had more annoyance than boredom in his eyes, “We are afraid that there is a spy among us, another titan shifter if you will. We believe that the titan may be after Eren, and plans on attacking during the expedition. With this in mind, the main goal is to catch the titan-shifter.” He took out a map, carefully pointing to where the trap was laid out; he explained the plan to me, and the structure behind the formation. 

“How do you know I’m not the traitor?” I asked him, pondering. 

“I don’t, but I have a gut instinct that you are more of a soldier and are more devoted to the Survey Corps than you let on. Hence why I am trusting you, don’t make me regret it,” I nodded to him, as he went over the plan once more, letting me know that if something went wrong, to do what I think is right and follow Levi’s orders.   
********************  
Time Skip: The expedition. 

We were all lined up behind the gate, and it was only then that I had realised I had only met few people, Levi’s squad, Hanji’s Squad, Erwin and Eren. I was given all sorts of suspicious glances as I sat on my horse behind Levi, I had requested to be somewhere else in the formation to guard the new recruits or follow the titan-shifters tracks, but I was told to stay with the squad. 

“I heard about her, she’s from the underground,” I heard someone say from behind me. I turned, noticing a brown haired man and a blonde haired woman quite far behind me, talk any louder and titans might hear you.   
“Why did they let trash like her in here?”   
“Doesn’t matter, she’ll be dead by the end of the expedition.”  
“Street rats like her think she can survive out there, all she must know how to kill is humans. Disgusting,” the person that spoke sounded to have spat once they had finished. I had already turned my back, used to rumours. Although these ones seemed to impact me differently. I noticed Eren’s face growing angry, and looked as though he was about to yell before I raised an arm to stop him.   
“There’s no point,” I told him, telling him to calm with my eyes. He turned back around grumpily, Eld had ridden up beside me, I hadn’t noticed until he spoke.   
“They don’t know anything, don’t let it get to you.”  
“Wouldn’t think of it,” He nodded and looked ahead towards the gate opening. The commander began yelling, as our horses took off, synchronised as we ran through the now open gateway out of the wall, into the ruins of the city.

“We will now begin the 57th expedition beyond the walls!” Erwin yelled, his voice fierce, “Onward!” 

We ran throughout the town, and I took a moment to observe the fallen place. I heard Hangi yell something, as the support team went after what looked to be a 10 meter class. The soldier hit its weak point, but didn’t cut deep enough. I looked forward again, focusing my attention on the formation. We continued to ride throughout the city; I was not far behind Levi, across from Eren and Oluo. Eren looked towards Oluo and spoke nervously.   
“Sir Can they…” he trailed off for a moment, “Can my classmates beat the titans?”   
“Huh? What have you been doing for the past month,” Oluo responded, annoyed, “Listen, Brat. The most crucial part of an expedition is on how you avoid fighting titans” he bit his tongue, causing him to yell slightly. I smirked and took a deep breath as we entered open air. 

“Go into long-range scouting formation!” Erwin yelled, moving his arms to direct. We were placed in the centre rear, as the centre seemed the safest place for Eren. Erwin had placed different spots for where we were located for the other soldiers, seeing as the spy could be anywhere. A red fire round was seen in the distance. Then the green smoke round was seen as we moved in that direction swiftly. I noticed a black smoke round from further back, an aborrent. I wondered how many people had died already. 

We continued to move, changing courses every now and then and seeing warnings. We haven’t run into any titans as of yet, and no emergencies seem to be spotted, all though there are no doubt casualties on the front lines. Oluo fired a green smoke round, following the rest of them. A rider approached us, and begins to ride beside Levi.   
“Reporting!” the rider yelled, “Message to pass along! Right flank recon has been destroyed! Our recon system is partially inoperative. Pass this on, to the left.”   
I heard Eren gasp, as Levi turned to look at Petra.   
“Did you hear that, Petra? Go.” Levi commanded.   
“Yes Captain,” she began to ride off to the left, and I heard more fearful gasps escape Eren’s mouth. Black rounds emerged near us and Levi ordered Eren to fire it. 

“What a mess. We let it penetrate deep into our formation,” Levi muttered, no one else seemed to have heard. I rode up closer towards him.   
“Will the casualties and deaths be worth it?” I asked him, confronting what now looked to be a faulty plan.   
“You tell me.” He kept staring forward, keeping focus. We continued heading for the forest of gigantic trees. Entering through the middle, I took in the sights around me, familiarising myself with the new surroundings. This place really is perfect for the 3D Maneuver Gear. 

“Captain! Captain Levi!” Eren had yelled, confused.  
“What?” he answered, clearly knowing what Eren was going to ask.  
“Well.. We’re in the middle of the woods! If the center enters alone, we won’t know if titans are approaching! It seems something’s approaching us from the right. How are we supposed to dodge titans or protect the carts?” He exclaimed, I thought he would have caught on to the use of the forest, but he hasn’t seemed to.   
“Don’t go on and on about the obvious. We can’t do that anymore, of course.” He sounded more bored than anything, his voice plain.   
“Th-Then why?” Eren asked, I mentally hit myself at his question.   
“Look around Eren. At all these big ass trees,” he told him, I openly snorted at his blunt wording, “It’s the perfect environment for 3D Maneuver Gear. And try to use that tiny brain of yours, If you don’t want to die, think.”   
“Yes, sir!” Not the response I was expecting. Eren began looking around frantically, as he noticed the dumfounded expressions placed on the squads faces. I was riding slightly in front of him, thus he couldn’t see my face, and if he could he would be more disappointed. I watched him through the corner of my eye, noticing that he might have finally clicked to the fact that they don’t know what’s happening. 

Hell, I shouldn’t even know what’s happening. Why is he intrusting me with this information? Does he really think I am reliable; I spent years running from him. I thought. Maybe it’s because of Levi, maybe he knows about my past with him. But that doesn’t make any sense, none of it does. Maybe it’s just a test, but I doubt it, he wouldn’t mishandle an expedition like that. I don’t understand what I am in this organisation to him, I should be thought of as a mere rookie. Yet I am getting trusted with highly confidential information that only few have been intrusted with. I will confront him when this is over, to find out what he is thinking. 

“A black smoke round?!” Eren blurted out with worry.   
“It’s from directly behind us! It’s whatever was coming toward us on the right,” Eld declared, his face slightly uneasy.   
“Draw your blades,” Levi spoke, his voice clear as he pulled out his blade, “If we see it, it’ll only be for a second.”   
I drew my blade, holding it tight enough to make my knuckles whiten. I followed Levi’s example, and continued to look forward, knowing that if I didn’t I would see someone die. That was when I heard it, the thumping sound of a titan’s foot against the ground.   
“Go!” Levi yelled, and I sped up my horse. The titan was in plain view as it ran through the trees beside us. It’s features were interesting, much like Eren’s in ways but in others being the polar opposite. The titan jumped sideways, ripping a tree in half as it did so. Its face hovered over us for a moment. Before it steadied itself to the ground behind us. I heard Eren gasping once again, then Gunther speaking.   
“It’s fast! In these trees, there’s no way to foresee and evade its attacks!”   
“It’ll catch us,” Eld yelled, his voice containing a surprising amount of control.   
“Captain, let’s switch to Maneuver Gear!” Petra yelled, her eyes wider than I had ever seen them, when he didn’t answer she yelled once again, “Captain!”   
I heard the sound of the Maneuver gear wires, as the reinforcements went after the titan. This is the type of thing I looked ahead for.   
“Reinforcements from the rear!” Petra yelled, hope filled and stating the obvious.   
By the sound of the crushing I knew they had died and I wondered as to why I was looking away. I just don’t want to see people die, but why am I being so cowardly. I shouldn’t be afraid to face what is happening right before me.   
“Captain, your orders?!” her scream was freakish, her entirely filled with terror and panic.   
“Let’s go for it! It’s dangerous,” Oluo yelled, “We should kill it!”   
I heard a blade being drawn and an “I’ll rip you apart!” by the voice I knew it was Eld. I just hoped he wouldn’t do anything stupid.   
“Captain!”  
“What are your orders?!”  
“At this rate, it will catch up with us!”  
“We kill it here, that’s why we came to this forest! Right Captain?”   
The yells collapsed on top of one another, in a big heap of panic. I felt the panic consume me too, as my body shivered. I need to trust in Erwin, I need to trust the plan.  
“Everyone, cover your ears.” Levi pulled out what I guessed to be the sound flare, which gave me a small amount of relief. I covered my ears as it went off, the pang obvious in my ears.   
“A noise grenade?” Eren questioned.   
“What is your job? To just let yourself be swayed by whatever your feeling at the moment? No, it’s not. Our squad’s job, is to keep the brat from getting a single scratch on him. Even if it costs our lives,” He looked back ahead, his face showing no mercy, “We keep going on our horses, got it?”  
“Roger!” Petra replied, her tone finding strength in Levi’s words. Eren seemed surprised by this, and continued to ask questions.   
“Keep going? For how long? And it’s right on top of us,” he begged, “Again! The reinforcements, if we don’t help, they’ll be wiped out again!” 

“Stop questioning the orders and focus on ahead of you,” I somewhat growled this to him, looking him straight in the eyes for the first time since we entered the forest. I had stayed silent most of the time, but he needed to understand.   
“Eren, eyes on the road!” Gunther commanded, backing me up as Eren had continued to watch the reinforcements.   
“Sir!” he yelled desperately, looking from me to him.   
“Keep your pace up, stay at top speed!” Eld ordered, looking straight ahead.   
“But sir, why?! If Squad Levi doesn’t defeat it, who will?” Eren asked, getting angrier.   
“Enough Eren, don’t be so naïve,” I didn’t have much right to command him, but I wasn’t one to hold my opinion when it needed to be raised. I allowed myself to look back at him, and as soon as I did I saw the female titan hit its hand on a soldier, squishing it against the tree, I winced slightly.   
“Another ones dead, and maybe we could have saved him! One’s still fighting, we could still make it!” the desperation was welling in his eyes; I looked forward once again and noticed everyone doing the same. It’s not an easy decision for them, to ignore comrades being killed behind them, but it’s a price that must be paid. 

“Eren, eyes back on the road! Keep going!” Petra declared her voice wary towards him.   
“Are you telling me to look away? To abandon my comrades and run?!” the anger in his voice reaching boiling point.   
“Yes, that’s right!” At least she’s honest, “Obey the captain’s orders!”   
“I don’t understand why we’re leaving them to die! Or why he won’t explain! Why?!”  
“That’s because the Captain decided the reason should not be explained. You just don’t understand because you’re still green! If you get it, then shut up and obey!” Oluo growled at him, finally losing his patience. I noticed Eren raising his thumb to his mouth, he’s going to turn.   
“Eren, don’t you dare or I will kill you myself, orders or not,” I warned him, my voice rising to the point of yelling. Petra looked at me, obviously surprised with my reaction. Eren gaped at me, scared by my serious threat. Petra talked after me, hoping to get through to him.   
“You’re only allowed to do that if your life is in danger. You promised us!” he didn’t remove his thumb, but pushed it closer to biting point.   
“Eren!” Petra yelled, her voice echoing. 

“You aren’t wrong,” Levi had spoken, his eyes still ahead with his back to Eren, “If you want to, do it. I can tell. He’s a real monster. And it has nothing to do with his titan power. No matter what power you use to supress him, no matter what cage you put him in, he will never submit to anyone.”   
A part of me wondered if he wasn’t only directing this at Eren, but also to myself. It then occurred to me, that I had been following orders entirely. I may not have been acting like a soldier, or been honoured to join. But no matter how hard I had tried not to, I had grown to respect these people, even over this short while I have been here. It wasn’t what I had expected from myself, I vowed to never submit, but here I was. Is this why Erwin trusts me? Because he knows that I had changed slightly? He couldn’t have noticed such a small change. He must have, I didn’t hide it the way I did with other things. 

“Eren, the difference between your decision and ours is experience.” Levi continued, knocking my thoughts away, “But you don’t have to rely on that. Choose, believe in yourself, or believe in the Survey Corps and me. I don’t know, I never have, I can believe in my own abilities or the choices in the companions I trust, but no one ever knows how it will turn out. So choose for yourself whichever decision you’ll regret least” His words were serious, and I could tell Levi meant them with every bone in his body.   
There was silence, apart from the titan and the support team. I felt the tension of Eren weighing his options, and I felt a pain in my chest when he raised his thumb to his mouth. 

“Eren!” Petra begged, “Have faith!”   
I couldn’t help but take the words in myself, I was being selfish by thinking like this in such a desperate and vulnerable situation. I could see Eren’s mind racing with thoughts, desperately looking for an answer. 

“Eren! You’re taking too long! Decide!” Levi yelled, his brow furrowing. 

“I’ll go forward,” his voice echoed throughout the forest, he flinched as he heard a soldier die behind him. Eren had made his choice, to believe in not himself but the Survey Corps. I needed to make mine, my eyes widened as I finally put the pieces together.   
This is what Erwin is testing me on, which decision I make. Whether I believe in myself, and do things my way or even run from this, or whether I believe in the Survey Corps, whether I pledge my life to this. He couldn’t have known this was to happen, he must be awaiting my response, whether I say it myself, whether my actions say it or even if my eyes say it. I already knew my decision, I knew it as soon as I was captured, as soon as I saw the photo of Isabel, as soon as I began to find respect for people. I am a feather on wings of freedom, no longer a lone wolf hunting. I am a member of the survey corps, whether my past tells me to run or not. 

I heard the speed of the female titan increase behind me, the thumping growing louder. It would soon become impossible to outrun it, its speed picking up impressively well.   
“Target is accelerating!” Eld warned, still confident.   
“Go!” Levi ordered.  
“We will outrun it!” Gunther added, taking strength from his own words. The optimism was astounding from them, even without them knowing what was happening. It’s all the trust, the trust they have in each other and Levi. I knew what was coming, from the amount of time we had been riding, the trap would be coming up soon.   
The titan was stopped in its tracks, the squad gasping from surprise. I felt a pang of relief string over me, and I knew Levi could feel it too.   
“Fire!” I had heard Erwin yell, as the wires shot out at the titan at top speed. The titan was outsmarted, trapped flawlessly. The dust arose from the impact, as we kept riding further past. Eren was gaping, the word surprise could not cover the expression on his face.   
“Advance a bit farther, tether the horses, and switch to Maneuver Gear. You guys will be on your own for a while. Eldo, lead the squad,” he turned to face them, “Once you’re a good distance away from the titan, hide Eren. Take mine and (y/n)’s horses, she will be coming with me.” He nodded towards me, and with that I leapt off, my wire attaching to a tree, landing before taking off again after Levi.   
“I take it you made your choice as well, then,” Levi commented, catching me off guard. So he didn’t just direct it to Eren then. 

“How did you know?” I asked.   
“I had to make the same decision;” he replied plainly, “I wondered as to whether you were finally going to submit, if that brat Jaeger can.”   
“Would I really be standing here if I hadn’t?” I asked him, entirely serious.   
He clicked his tongue as we moved our way through the trees towards Erwin.


	9. The Special Operations Squad

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hallo, hope you enjoy this chapter, I tried to put Levi stuff in.   
> I failed *hangs head in shame*  
> Levi is probably OCC somewhere, well.  
> Please comment what you think and/or leave a kudos if you enjoyed c:  
> Fankyou!
> 
> *******************************************************

  
“Looks like its stopped moving,” Levi spoke, observing the titan trapped before us.   
“We can’t lower our guard. But you did well, leading it here, both of you,” Erwin replied, acknowledging me.   
“Men in the rear-guard squads died buying us the time we needed. We couldn’t have done it without them,” his comment didn’t surprise me; he had always had a thing about deaths.   
“Is that so?” Erwin’s face was blank, but I could smell the same scent of guilt inside him.   
“It is, thanks to them, we’ll be able to see who’s inside this thing. I hope they haven’t pissed themselves.”

I stared at the titan, taking time to observe its features. It had blonde shoulder length hair, what looked to be blue eyes and red and pink skin. It was quite fascinating, when you take away the fear that came with it. Levi took out both of his blades, not hesitating to show the anger he had for the beast in his eyes.

“Wait Levi,” Erwin instructed, “An eye for an eye, Waves 2 and 3, fire! Fire the spare rounds” The arrow wires began shooting again, piercing the titan from every direction with heaps of them at once.   
  
I watched as Levi and Mike tried the best they could to get whoever was inside the titan out. But whenever they tried to slice the nape of its neck, the titan’s hand turned into a somewhat diamond substance, hardening its skin and breaking their swords _. It’s intelligent, extremely intelligent._  Erwin called on a soldier, one immediately coming to his request.

“Prepare the explosives. Blow off its hands,” I shifted my gaze to him, seeing he was entirely sincere in his order.   
“Yes sir,” the soldier replied, pausing with hesitation, “But there’s a chance that the amount we carry has enough firepower to also blow up what’s inside.”

“Then set them to amputate the wrists. Set them all off at once at my signal,” He said, while jumping down off the tree to a better position to show the signal. The soldiers began setting up, and I noticed Levi standing on top of the titan, speaking. I moved closer to hear what he was saying. If it wasn’t such a vulnerable situation, I could have laughed at how tiny he looked on the gigantic form.  
  
“Hey, why not just come out? We don’t have time to waste,” he noticed me watching him, but continued anyway, “So, what do you think will happen to you know? Do you believe that you can escape? I wish you’d consider all the trouble we’re going through. As I recall, you killed my troops in various ways. Did you find it fun? Right now, I’m having fun. Well, so are you, right? I think you can understand me. Oh right, I wanted to ask you something. Is it okay if we cut off your hands and legs? They’ll grow back right? I’m talking about your limbs, not the titan’s. We need you alive, after all.”   
  
I noticed movement stirring in the titan’s eye, rage.   
“Levi, get off her!” I yelled to him, as the titan’s moves became stronger his eyes widened slightly. The titan let out a deafening roar, causing myself and everyone around to cover their ears, the strength of it causing the wind to change dramatically.

It stopped its dramatic cry, letting Levi speak, “Well, that was a surprise.”   
“And that was an understatement,” I growled at him, angry at him for some reason I couldn’t muster the reason to.   
“Where those her dying screams?” I heard Mike ask from below me, he flew up with his gear next to Erwin, “Erwin, it stinks.”  
Because you can always count on Mike’s smelling capabilities.

“Which direction?” Erwin questioned, his gaze furrowing.   
“Multiple sources, from all directions at once,” I put the pieces together fast, hearing the thumps of titans rushing my thought processes.   
  
“That scream, titans,” I murmured, fully aware that Levi heard me. He looked up, and I could tell he knew to, the sound of titans grew nearer.

“Ready the explosives, now!” Erwin commanded, pulling his sword out as he did so.   
“Erwin, the first wave will come from the east. They’re almost here,” Mike confirmed his eyes dark and focused.

“Cart guard team, intercept!” Erwin yelled, the team flew towards them with good speed preparing to engage in battle. But something wasn’t right, the titans ran past them, barely regarding their existence. Erwin stood with a dumbstruck look upon his features.   
  
“Three are breaking through!” A soldier yelled, desperate for a saviour.  _They want the titan._  
I noticed Levi still standing atop of the female titan, my stomach clenched, “Captain Levi!” the same soldier yelled in warning.

“You just did something didn’t you, bitch?” Levi muttered, staring daggers at the titan.  _Giving the titan your famous glare isn’t going to do shit, Levi._ He started stomping his foot on its head, the golden hair staying in place despite his touch.  _Neither is throwing a tantrum.  
_ I jumped off with my gear, straight towards the titans fluctuating towards the female. I saw Levi take out three in the corner of my eye, while I sliced a couple myself. Not merely satisfied, I took out more coming in, barely noticing the others flowing in from various other directions.   
“Titans from all directions!” I heard someone yell in defeat, I looked around me, realising the events taking place.  _I need to pay more attention._ I noticed the titans beginning to feast on the female titan, disgusting.   
  
“All men engage. Defend the Female titan, even if it means your lives!” Erwin commanded, and with that I continued. Beating down whatever titan I could get my hands on, although it took a toll. I let my anger burn through me, cutting as many necks as I could. I noticed I hadn’t cut one deep enough, and went in for a second hit.  _It never takes me more than once,_ I questioned.   
  
“Retreat, men!” Erwin declared, leaving me hanging in shock.  _He doesn’t want any more death on his hands._ “Back to original formation! Return to Karanes!” The struggle welled deep in his eyes, full of trouble and anxiety.  
  
We all stood on branches, some collapsed from exhaustion while others panted. I felt weakness enter my knees, a weakness I hadn’t felt before.  _Erwin was right, what I’m used to is somewhat controlled. This is different; this is uncontrollable and fucking dreadful._ The titans continued to bite on the female titans flesh, eating whatever hope we had for this expedition.

“We’ve been had,” Erwin spoke, shuddering lightly. I flew over to him weakly, knowing he noticed my lack of strength.   
“Just look at you, don’t tell me,” Levi was bent over, rising as he spoke.   
“The enemy was willing to sacrifice everything,” he spoke regrettably, staring at the monstrosity in front of him, “I didn’t expect the enemy to destroy itself along with the evidence by making titans devour itself.”

“All our talk at the court martial, and this is what happens. If we return empty handed, who knows what will happen to Eren or us,” he looked more tired than usually, but spoke with the same ferocity he usually had.  
  
“We can think about that after we return. Our priority now is getting home without additional casualties. For now,” He seemed more tormented then anything, the words barely making it out of his mouth  
  
“Commander,” I spoke softly but clear, saying commander without sarcasm for the first time as well as speaking to him for the first time since the beginning of the expedition. He looked up, giving me the signal to continue, “I find it hard to believe that the female titan would go through all the trouble of trying to capture Eren just to sacrifice itself. It had to have known what its scream does, therefor must’ve had a plan to escape when it’s used. I believe the spy is still alive, whether still inside the titan or roaming the forest as I speak.”  
  
“I’ve considered this, but as of right now it doesn’t matter. I understand where you are coming from, but we cannot go off suspicion. This expedition has become enough of a failure already, we need to ensure no further casualties and make it back safely. We will devise a plan when returned,” he stated, I followed his response with a nod.

“I’ll call my team,” Levi made a move to leave, but stopped as Erwin spoke an order.  
  
“Wait Levi, Refill your gas and blades. You as well (y/n)”  
  
“There isn’t time, I think I have plenty. Why?” Levi argued, questioning him.  _You’re wasting time arguing with him, dumbass._

“That’s an order, follow it,” I began to lower myself from the tree to do as he asked, hearing Levi’s response as I did so.

“Roger, Erwin. I trust your decision,” I noticed the blue flares fly in the air, the signal to retreat.     

“I don’t trust this,” I spoke to him, as we made our way to refill.   
  
“You’ve made your choice, you must trust his command whether you like it or not,” he spat it at me, irritated at my lack of respect. I glared at him, now was not the time for Levi to speak that way to me. I was exhausted, but I was never too tired to yell. I stepped in front of him, pushing my hand out to stop him.   
“You may be my superior, but in case you haven’t noticed I’m also your comrade and even more in the past even though you are so disgusted by it you chose to forget. But I am your comrade, and I will not let you speak to me like nothing but dirt on your shoe, others might stand for it, but I sure as hell fucking wont,” It was quite possibly the worst time to pick a fight with him, other priorities clearly existent.   
  
“In case  _you_ haven’t noticed fucking brat we are in the middle of an expedition, my priorities don’t include fixing your childish complaints so why don’t you focus on the task at hand,” we had begun to refill, and I decided not to reply to him. Knowing that ignoring him would be the best thing to do, before getting too riled up. I needed to pound a fist in his condescending face, permanently damaging it, but this wasn’t the best time. Erwin and the others had already ridden off, letting us fall behind at our own speed while we refill.  _It was defiantly a waste of time.  
  
_ We began making our way back to HQ, a comforting silence accompanying us. Soon enough, we heard a roar of yet another titan.  _God dammit, Eren_.    
“That voice, it couldn’t be...” Levi trailed off, leaving me to pick up the ending.   
“Fucking hell,” was all I could muster as we turned around, flying in the other direction hurriedly. I could hear various sounds in the distance, although they were muffled.   
We were making our way through the trees when a flash of red caught my eye. Gunther was hanging upside down from his wire, dead. Eld laid on the floor ripped in half, dead. Oluo was faced down on the ground, a pool of blood surrounding him, dead. Then Petra, her body pushed up against a tree with blood stained across her face, dead.

No words could fathom the rage that crept its way through my body, infecting me like a virus. What really tipped it over the edge was  _him._ He had seen the exact same as I, yet he had nothing but a bored expression, no pain, no nothing, just the same furrowed brow he always wore. Even I was on the verge of tears, meaningless tears. These people, these comrades, these  _friends._ I had seen numerous people die, and they may take up the same space in the world as them, but they didn’t take the same place in me. I respected them, I had never respected people so easily or so quick, other than them. And that bitch, that fucking bitch killed them. I stared down at Eld, my face burning, inflamed. Not Eld, not fucking Eld. I kneeled down beside him, looking at his torn up body. Why did I listen to Erwin, if I had followed my own instincts, this never would have happened. I wanted desperately to blame it on Erwin, but all the guilt I felt, was placed onto my shoulders. No, it’s that bitches fault, that titan-shifting traitorous bitch. It was that moment that I didn’t care if Levi saw weakness in me, I raised my hand to Eld’s cheek, stroking it gently and lowering my head to his chest weakly.

“Goodbye,” I whispered it to not only him, but to all of them, hoping my words would travel to them all. I felt a tug on my arm, turning me to face Levi. I could feel the water daring to come out at my eyes, but I pushed them back, refusing to do something so pointless. I let something I had become familiar with encase me, violent rage.

“You don’t have to fix my childish fucking complaints, remember,” I screamed at him, almost feeling steam radiate off me. I leapt off with all the power I had, scanning the forest as I did so. He was beside me; I tried my best to ignore the resentment in his looks towards me. Rage still pulsating, I moved through the forest in top speed, the air hitting my face giving me a few seconds of relief from the pain itching its way into my mind.

I needed to get there, I needed to kill her. We were close, I could feel it. I noticed the sounds had stopped, which could only mean one thing, one of them won. Judging by the girl desperately hitting the female titan in fury, she had gotten Eren, or worse. The girl was talented, enough to get the titan on its knees, only to have a broken sword from the hardened skin. She stood against a tree, seeming to be talking to herself in rage. S _he’s wasting time._ The titan hit for her on the tree then continued running. The girl shouted after her, about to leap off until Levi grabbed her.   
  
“Fall back for now,” he told her, letting her go. I maintained a good distance in front of him, tempted to run after the titan-shifter with all my might, “Maintain this distance. (y/n).”   
“(Y/N)!” he yelled at me, forcing me to turn.   
“WHAT?!” I screamed, not in the mood to follow orders.   
“Listen to me for once would you, you’re going to get yourself killed.”  
“As long as I take her down with me,” I snarled, clearly.   
“Fall back for now,” he said again, firmly. I complied, knowing that our best chance was to strike it together.   
“It might be tired. It does not appear to be going very fast,” he stated, he shifted his gaze to the raven haired girl, who had more fury and fear then I could imagine in someone that young, “He seems to have been bitten right out of the neck. Is Eren dead?”

Her gaze intensified at the sound of Eren’s name, “He’s alive. The target appears intelligent, and its goal seems to be capturing Eren. If it wanted him dead, it would’ve crushed him. The target is fighting to escape after going through the trouble of putting him in its mouth.”  
  
“Its goal may have been to eat Eren. In that case, he’s in its stomach. It’s more reasonable to assume that he’s dead.”

“He’s alive,” her eyes were filled with unmoveable determination.   
“I hope your right,” he looked over to me, most likely to check that I wasn’t doing something stupid. None of my anger hadn’t faded of course; the rage was burning my blood, boiling it.   
“If you’d only protected Eren, this wouldn’t have happened!” She didn’t just look at him, but she looked at me too, endless hatred forming in her eyes.   
Levi’s eyes widened significantly, as he looked to be recognising her, “I see, you’re the one from back then. Eren’s close friend?” her eyes widening gave him his answer, “We’ll limit ourselves to one goal. First, give up on killing the female titan.”

“Like fucking hell that’s going to happen,” I growled, my eyes burning into his.   
“It killed many of our comrades,” the girl yelled, her eyes meeting mine as I noticed a flicker of regard through her pained expression.  
“As long as it can harden its skin, we can’t kill it. Do as I say,” he motioned for both of us, “We’ll pin our hopes on Eren still being alive, and rescue him before it leaves this forest. I will tear away at it. You both draw its attention.”

Me and the girl rushed forward at even timing, she went right while I flew left and we crossed each other. I sliced at its legs, slowing it enough for it to be an inconvenience. The girl glided along, although her attempts at distraction were to no avail. The titan turned on its heal, aiming to punch Levi. He looked as though he had been expecting this, as he spun around with his blades, slicing up its arm with almost inhuman speed. He jumped at it, pushing both of his blades into its eyes. He then cut throughout it, working his way around it with the same gigantic amount of speed; I heard the girl gasp. I already knew what Levi was doing before he started. I leapt at the titan, feeling that rage bubble inside of me; I cut constantly at it, working at the parts Levi left. The titan fell to the ground, Levi not slowing his pace continued to cut at it, not letting himself stop. I cut at the titans arms, beginning to forget the main goal. The titan’s arms fell down, causing the girl to head towards it, feeling that was the best opportunity to kill it. She began to go for the neck, hurdling at it with all the power she had.   
  
“Stop!” Levi yelled, he landed on the titans hand and I heard a crack, Levi winced in pain but continued to slash at the titan’s mouth, eventually opening to reveal Eren.

“Eren!” the girl yelled, Levi grabbed Eren out of the mouth and jumped from it, landing on a branch.   
“We’re getting out of here. I think he’s okay, he’s alive!” Levi yelled, angry with what the girl had attempted, “But filthy. Forget about it, We’ll retreat. Don’t lose sight of the core objective. Is it more important to get what you want? Isn’t he an important friend?”

He started moving, the girl following him, clinging to the last word. It wasn’t enough for me, I stood watching her, seeing the tear slide down her cheek.  _You have no right to be crying, bitch._ Images of the squad invaded my mind, heat rushing back into my blood. I screamed, diving at the titan determined to show it the pain it had given me.

I hit at it, constantly. I didn’t care if they had left, I didn’t care if I couldn’t kill her I just needed to do  _something._ Anything, anything to respect them.

“You killed them! You fucking titan-shifting bitch,” there was steam rising from me, two of my blades broken at her hardened skin, “You’re a coward, what happens when your hardened skin can’t defend you? I’ll kill you, they might give up that easily but I won’t.”

I could feel the exhaustion begging me for release, while my mind was screaming at me to kill her.

_“Protect Eren at all costs, that’s all that matters,” Erwin, Erwin’s voice was always the one to plague my thoughts._

_“You’re not as cold as you think you are,” Eld had said this to me, before everything._  
  
Before  **her**.  
I began screaming again, my eyes filled with fiery desire to kill as I sped towards her neck at alarming speeds. I need to do it, she deserves to die.

  
Yet I was here, watching her get smaller and smaller.  I felt arms wrapped around my waist before I saw them, and I could hardly process anything due to the rage that was left with nothing to burn it with. I was right there; I was going to kill her. But he stopped me, I looked up at him, to my surprise he was watching me, unsure as to how I’d react.

“You were going to get yourself killed,” he spoke angrily, impatience in his undignified tone. Pain washed over me, splintering through me when it finally got the chance. It wasn’t mental pain, it was physical. I winced at Levi’s arm on my ribcage, feeling agony where I hadn’t before, “You’re injured,” he noticed my wincing, and his eyes were replaced with concern.

“I’m fine, let go of me I can go on myself,” I was being stubborn, but I didn’t need his condescendence right now.

“No, you can’t. You’re exhausted as well as injured, being a complete idiot and trying to kill it was extremely foolish.”

“I could have killed her,” I whispered, saying what I thought was the truth.   
  
“You would have died,” he loosened his grip on my rib cage, giving me some sort of relief.   
  
“I would have died for them.”

“No, you would have died in vain for them. They just lost their lives, and you’re just going to throw yours away. How selfish can you be?” He was irritated, which made me smirk internally despite my current state.

“Why do you even care...?” I trailed off, my voice unable to maintain a sentence apparently.

“Because I do, isn’t that enough for you to know?” his voice seemed uncertain, realizing that I wanted answers, and once again I had picked possibly the worst time to get them. My bones were aching, but I allowed myself to move. I shifted uncomfortably, trying to free myself, “You aren’t fucking well enough brat, stop being stubborn.”

  
I wasn’t going to take no for an answer, so I continued to squirm, making it difficult for him to maintain his composure. He landed on a branch, steadying me as he did so. I noticed the girl had stopped as well, waiting. I gave Levi the most serious stare I could find, trying not to wince. He sighed, knowing he wasn’t going to win and made sure the equipment was alright. I made my way through the forest on my own, the pain was excruciating. But it was better than being in his arms, feeling everything I had back then. Physical pain is always better than emotional pain.

 

When we make it back to HQ, I’m going to get my answers from that fucking short ass. 


	10. Game On

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think its short :/ Sorry if it is...  
> I also apologise if there are spelling mistakes, I've honestly gotten so lazy when it comes to proofreading. Mostly because I don't want to read the shitty chapter I wrote.  
> I dun even know what I did in this chapter, I feel like it’s going around in circles a lil' bit.  
> Please feel free to comment your opinion, I highly appreciate it.

When I had gotten out of the infirmary, I was more broken than when I had entered, the time did me no good. Something about these people, something about that squad had changed something in me, and now that they were gone…  
I would usually get over it, move on and respect them by continuing, but I couldn’t get the thought of them out of my mind. The way they had died, it wasn’t worth it. The titan was still out there, they had died pointlessly. I could feel the tears holding themselves back, I wasn’t a crier, I was a puncher. So when I got back to my room, that’s exactly what I did, punch. I hit anything I could get my hands on, eventually just hitting the wall continually. They were all outside, the noise didn’t matter, _nothing_ mattered.

All people did was die, and what for, we hadn’t come any closer to winning this fucking war.

  
My hands were bleeding by the time I noticed it, the envelope sitting on the floor, next to the toppled over table that had been victim to my rage. All I had managed to see was red, a result of the blinding rage that echoed in waves in my body. The letter had my name scribbled upon it, the text looking as though it had been written in a rush.  
  
 _(Y/N),_  
  
I’m hoping that you will find this before the expedition, but if you don’t, there is always after right? I know it’s stupid for me to think I’ll make it back, as I cannot be entirely sure. I decided to write this, telling you the words you need to hear.  
  
I can see the wall you put up, barricading you from everyone, the charade you take part in. I would usually let this be, but you need to understand. I see you smiling, when everyone else is distracted, I see the worry in your eyes when someone is hurt and I can see the way you care for everyone here, despite the short time you have been here.  
You are a part of this squad, and you have become a part of me.  
  
Don’t change who you are, but don’t hide it either. It’s okay to let go once in a while, you may be alive, but from what I’ve seen, you aren’t truly living. You aren’t alone anymore, so stop trying to be.  
If I don’t make it back, then I hope it gives you more of a reason to value what I’ve said.  
If I do, I hope to see it myself. 

Eld

That was when not even the gods could have held back my tears, they came out like rivers, unleashing years of unshed tears. I dropped to the floor, my limbs unable to hold me up anymore.  He haunted me even after death.  
My legs ached, and a burning sensation rose from my stomach, the bandages not doing much good. I was supposed to be outside, learning of new information. But how could I, I am weak, every thought I had about myself being strong, was diminished as the tears dripped on to the floor. I didn’t care when the door opened, I didn’t care when I heard the steps enter my room, I didn’t care when I heard his voice.

“Brat, we need to leave…” he trailed off when he saw the heap on the floor, the uncontrollable sobbing mess that was me. Even he had only seen me cry twice, despite the years he had known me. I always kept my feelings in check, and when they weren’t, I made sure I hid it from _him._

“I’ll be out in a minute, Corporal,” I managed to say between sobs, my voice breaking. He just continued to look at me, looking as though he was debating what he should do. I tried to compose myself, but to no amend as I continued to whimper. To my surprise, he bent down, looking straight into my eyes. For a minute, I swear I saw his hard gaze soften; I looked down from him back to the letter, somewhat ashamed. He noticed me looking at it, and grabbed it before I could retaliate. I watched him flick through the words, his eyes widening slightly at the end. Another tear managed to escape my eye, and without a second thought, he raised his hand to wipe it off. His hand was cold against my skin, sending a shiver throughout my body. He quickly realised what he was doing and snapped his hand back, his composure completely intact. “There’s no point in what you’re doing, he wouldn’t want you to be like this.”  
From the words he said, it sounded as though he cared, but when I looked up at him, his expression said otherwise. I got up, wiping the tears that stained my cheeks and straightened out my uniform, while wiping off the somewhat invisible dust that resided on it. His words hadn’t changed anything, I was still breaking, but I wasn’t going to lie in a mess on the floor any longer. He looked surprise at my movement, and nodded at me.  
  
“I’m sorry, he must have meant something to you” my eyes widened at his words, as I looked at him with a dumfounded expression, he didn’t give me a chance to reply, “We are meeting with Erwin, come when you’re ready,” he spoke before walking out, leaving me confused. I stood in place for a moment, glued to the floor. I didn’t want to think much of what had just happened,

 _He must have meant something to you,_ the words burned inside my brain. _He didn’t think… No, he doesn’t even care, he has more important things to do, and so do I._ Despite the truth in my thoughts, I couldn’t help but think of just falling back to the floor pathetically. I walked outside my door, trying to leave the events that occurred behind me, although I knew that was naïve.  
  
I made my way to Erwin’s office, noticing the depressed expressions splattered over various soldiers that I passed. Many of them gave me glances, some of disgust and some of curiosity, I ignored them. They didn’t know _anything._ I didn’t bother to knock and just stormed in, seeing Levi leaning against a wall, as that seemed to be the only real place for him and Erwin situated at his desk, like always. I could almost imagine this day like any other, everything normal with Erwin swamped with paperwork and Levi looking boredly out the window. I went and sat down on one of the chairs opposite Erwin, not hiding my furious glare. I didn’t blame him, but it felt good to direct the anger.  
He looked up at me, looking longer than he usually did and with more sympathy than usual. I knew I must have looked like shit, I could feel where the marks of tears still resided and my eyes still sore.  
  
“Y/N, glad you could join us,” he greeted, trying to put on whatever smile he could muster.  
“Screw the formality bullshit and just tell me the next move,” I didn’t plan on being so rude to him, I respected him for what he had to deal with, being a commander.  
“I know you’re angry, but I’m hoping your emotions won’t get in the way.”  
 _Angry doesn’t even begin to describe_ _it,_  
“I’m gathering by the pathetic sympathy in your eyes you know about the outburst I had with the female titan. It won’t happen again, if that’s what you’re asking,” I would try to keep to the words I had just spoken; I couldn’t afford to be reckless in a world such as this. Who am I kidding? With the current state I’m in I could rip his head off right now.

 _You are a part of this squad, and you have become a part of me._ If I just couldn’t have found it, just left before and not come back, I wouldn’t be hurting as much as I was.  
  
“I’m not sure your words are truthful, (y/n). There just seem to be numerous distractions for a soldier such as yourself,” he looked doubtful, and I became slightly confused, _numerous?_  
“I’m afraid I don’t know what distractions you are referring to, Commander.”  
“Considering your recklessness with the female titan due to some unfortunate deaths,” I could have sworn I saw Levi flinch at the word unfortunate, “and the past you have with Levi, I have become worried with these things clouding your judgement.”  
 _Shit._  
He knows? Nah fucking duh, he’s the commander.  
“I understand where you’re coming from, but I am hardly ever reckless let alone susceptible to my judgement being clouded. I believe this was proven for the complete and utter disregard for me and the corporals past which I don’t acknowledge. I am short-tempered, and although this may be considered reckless on some standpoint, it is nothing of the such, you knew of this when you brought me here. My temper was blown due to the “unfortunate deaths” you so kindly spoke of. And I mean my words when I say **, it will not happen again**.”  
  
Levi turned to me, his expression unreadable. I wondered as to whether he had told Erwin of the confrontations we had encountered in from time to time, judging by the smirk that played on the tip of his lips I guessed not. I could tell he noticed the strain in my voice when I referred to him. I looked at his hands, which where boldly crossed along with his arms against his chest, while he leaned on the wall casually. The feeling of his hands on my skin rose again, chills vibrating through my body. _Why am I thinking of that?_

I was so engrossed in the memory, I hadn’t noticed Erwin trying to gain my attention. I turned my eyes back to him, fully aware of the full grown smirk that appeared on Levi’s lips, hidden from Erwin while perfectly viewed by me. He had a way of turning anything I felt into anger, and considering the depressed predicament I was in, I was happy to take anger as solitude.  
Anger seemed like the best medicine and he was surely bringing it out in me.  
  
Oh, game on.  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OooOOO sure this is anger reader-chan, or maybe it’s just to hawtttt xD  
> Damn you reader character with ya damn anger issues…
> 
> I forgot to mention that I'm taking requests for what you'd like to see happen in the story, I have a few ideas myself, but I would love to know what you guys want to see!  
> C:


	11. Authors Note

Hellooooo another update on what changes will be occuring in the future.   
SORRY IF YOU THOUGHT THIS WAS A NEW CHAPTER.  
As you know, through the fan fiction I have stayed with the plot, including the female titan and the forest and deaths and such. But that's all about to change... 

VHAT?   
I'm glad you asked xD  
I've found that some of the chapters have been more of a recap, just me putting the reader into the exact same situation, and personally it has been boring to write the same things that I've already seen. 

I don't want to continue going along with what's happened in the anime, and want to continue the plot differently. So different people may die... that's right, I might kill off characters that didn't die.   
Don't kill me xD

So it wont be Eren, Mikasa and Armin drawing out Annie and all that, it will be different. And yes I am still deciding on what to do for it. Some things might stay the same, I dont know.   
I hope you wont mind that I'm changing the things that happened, or you could even consider erasing it and starting fresh, but it's a fanfiction right? 

So that's it! Please feel free to let me know what you think of this, and whether you would like to see this happen instead of seeing what happened in the Anime.   
Another bonus of not following the anime, is that I can put in more time with Levi, and change where he is in all this. 

Thank you heaps for all your support,   
Will be updating soon.


	12. Every Inch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay Dokay, so I think this is more just to fill you in on the new plot c:  
> Please leave a kudos and/or comment if you enjoyed, I really appreciate it!  
> “It was a letter Levi, not a fucking love declaration."   
> I'm obsessed with that ^ Don't know why xD  
> **************************************************

“We know who the titan-shifter is,” I didn’t know if I heard the words correctly, as Erwin’s voice was calm and controlled, almost as if he had known it for a while.   
  
“Are you going to tell me, or just sit in dramatic silence?” I asked. Levi was still staring at me, the smirk not even close to fading. I was surprised at the strength in my tone, the mental breakdown seeming non-existent. It was the anger, the burning rage I had for the smirking midget in front of me that had let me forget what I was feeling at that moment, I wondered if he had known that.   
  
“Her name is Annie Leonhart; she was part of the 104th Trainees Squad and had joined the Military Police,” _Annie, the name of the girl I would have almost too much pleasure in killing._  
“Where is this bitch now?” I asked him, while sighing in frustration. She obviously isn’t just lying around or they would have done something.   
  
“She’s escaped,” my eyes widened, the bitch had fled, “It seems someone informed her of our knowledge, another spy it seems, we got conformation of her disappearance, and have searched every inch inside the wall. She isn’t here.”  
 _Every inch? I doubt they had done that._   
  
“That’s why you didn’t tell me sooner, making sure I wasn’t the spy?” I questioned him, he raised his thick eyebrows, suggesting I was wrong, “And searched every inch? What of the underground?”   
“That’s where you come in,” his gaze didn’t waver, _no he didn’t want me to…  
_ “You’re kidding? What makes you think I won’t stay there,” I laughed at him, my eyes full of humour.   
  
“Because the squad wouldn’t have wanted that,” I glared up at Levi, as I saw the smugness had disappeared from his strict features. _He’s using it against me. How could he even have the nerve, even for him it seemed heartless.  
  
_ “Don’t you dare, use that against me shorty,” I yelled, making sure to growl at the end as I stood up, the force of it almost sending the chair back at the sudden movement. Erwin put his hand out, warning me.   
  
“(y/n), we are lucky to have even been granted this, due to the most recent expedition,” he grumbled, his guilt basically pouring out of him, “You know your way around and how to survive there, I’m afraid my soldiers would create more harm than good. If she is down there, the search for her needs to be barely detectable. You know more then we could ever know, you and Levi both.”   
  
I was about ready to tackle him when he said the word _Levi._ I allowed myself to look back at him, and saw that I wasn’t the only one disagreeing with this. I could tell he hated the thought, going back there. Even I had become used to it, and I had only been here in the length of weeks, he had been here for years. I knew he wasn’t going to speak up, was going to follow Erwin’s command completely, and part of me wanted to do the same for Erwin and not put him under any more pressure. But the thought of being back there with _him,_ the memories that would arise, and the conflict that was bound to happen, I couldn’t stand it.   
  
“You are telling me you are going to send _him_ back there?” my voice wasn’t out of concern, but out of disbelief and snickering, “I understand me, but _him_?”   
It was only then that I noticed the bandage peeking out of Levi’s clothing, remembering the injury he must have sustained from his encounter with the titan, which made me remember mine. I looked down at my own, regaining the pain that surfaced once again.   
  
“Don’t question my orders,” his voice was strict, outlining the fact that he had been somewhat relaxed before it hit the topic of Levi, “You will be heading out when you are well enough, both of you being injured will not do any good. You will gather whatever information you can about her whereabouts and track her down. We have it under good authority that she won’t make it out of the walls, and before you ask, it is almost certain she hasn’t made it out. Levi will outline the important details when you leave, or whenever he sees fit. ”   
_Almost_ certain.  
  
“How? From what you’ve told me she could have easily fled beyond the walls,” I couldn’t hide the doubt that inched its way through my voice.   
  
“She didn’t,  and if she has we need conformation that she isn’t here to go outside the walls,” and with that I knew I wasn’t going to be able to get any further information out of him.

“I will go, but I am not certain that I will be coming back,” it wasn’t a lie, but for some reason it sounded like one. I made my way to the door, knowing that the meeting was over and that I had my orders.   
  
“(y/n) you’re one of us, so trust,” I opened the door, closing it with a slight slam, taking a sharp intake of breath.   _You are a part of this squad, and you have become a part of me._

When I heard the murmurs from the other side of the door, I thought it must have been a trick, they sure as hell wouldn’t have begun talking without hearing that I had left. Yet I stood in the exact same place, no footsteps could have been heard. My ears took control of themselves when they inched there way closer to the door, eavesdropping.   
  
“The underground,” he was snarling by the sounds of it, “not your greatest idea, especially not with her.” My gaze hardened when I heard the ending, trying to burn its way through the door into his head.   
  
“How exactly where you involved with her, Levi?” Erwin’s voice had a tint of amusement, as if somewhat mocking him for his sudden change of attitude. I knew he hadn’t meant it the way it sounded, but it still came off badly. I could tell by the tension that was heating through the crack of the door. I was now fully intrigued, waiting to hear his response, wondering what he would say. But there was nothing but silence, and footsteps, cold hard footsteps edging their way closer to the door. I fled as fast as I could, my injury slowing me more than it should have. I slowed when I heard the door open, knowing that getting caught running would have been too obvious. I heard him click his tongue while walking behind me, managing to end up next to me.   
  
“Surprised that you wouldn’t be pleased to go back there, it’s where rotten criminals deserve to be anyway,” It didn’t make me angry, instead I doubled over with laughter.   
  
“No wonder your coming along then,” I replied, laughter still managing to escape my mouth. I felt the tension rise again, slowly building up.   
  
“You will follow my every fucking command, if I hear anything otherwise, I will kill you on the spot, letting you die where you deserve to,” it wasn’t that his words had hurt, it was the surprise that his words gave me. He had always been cold and distant, but for him, this seemed worse, angrier than usual.  

“The underground has no rules,” I stared into his brutal eyes, forcing myself to stare into them for him to take me seriously, “And I will be staying as far from you as is humanly possible.”

His next move was unexpected, as he loomed closer to me, pulling me against the wall furiously, his eyes glimmered in amusement at the gasp that had fallen from my mouth, “Why? Afraid something might happen that your dear Eld would look down upon?” I glared at him for his words, “Afraid that taking a trip down memory lane will awake things that were never finished?”   
  
_What was he doing?_ I could tell he was manipulating me somehow, but I didn’t know what for, “The past is in the past,” I spat, my knees knocking into his, “I’m surprised you’re even acknowledging it.”

 He was going to speak, before I cut him off, speaking again, “It’s also surprising the little amount you seem to care for your lost comrades, I always knew you were heartless but that’s even bad for you.”   
I knew he cared for them, it was the way he worked, he wasn’t one to allow his emotions to drive him. But the emotion of towering rage was a different story, knowing that was the only reason he said the next few words.

“Maybe because I wasn’t _fucking_ one of them,” his grip tightened on my hands, most likely leaving bruises. I could hardly fathom the words that had just slid out of his dead straight mouth.  I could have laughed, stifling it back.   
  
“It was a letter Levi, not a fucking love declaration,” although I managed to keep back my laugh, nothing stopped the smirk that tugged on my lips. He knew he had made a mistake then, if I had any relationship with Eld I wouldn’t have lied. I decided to use the fragile moment of Levi being wrong to my advantage,  
 “Maybe you’re the one that’s afraid,” I let my fingers trail against his own that pinned me down, “Afraid that you won’t be able to stop yourself from finishing whatever had begun,” I noticed the small shudder from the contact my hands had made, “or better yet, afraid that you will have to face what you’ve been running from for so long.”   
  
That was what tipped him over the edge, as  his calloused fingers hardened around my skin, his gaze turning into something that could kill someone, sending a ripple of fear striking throughout me. It wasn’t something I had seen often, nor anyone else, and god, if looks could kill, I would be dead on the floor.   
“Shut your filthy mouth, ripper,” I could tell what he was doing, trying to scare me, to make me believe otherwise, “Or I just might rip your throat out.”   
I noticed he hadn’t denied it, when he easily could have. He released his grip, not removing the glare as he did so, “We will be leaving tomorrow night, if you’re still as injured, then you can deal with it. I don’t want any more emotional fucking breakdowns on my watch either.”   
  
He strolled off, pushing a button he knew would set me off. It faded when I noticed him try to hide the limp that graciously made him look pathetic, sending laughter shooting through me like the pain must have been doing to him.   
  
_Oh, how the mighty limp._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me again xD   
> If you're wondering what the "finishing what had begun" thing is about, then don't worry.   
> In fact, I might even say it now.   
> You and Levi had always had sexual tension, always having moments that you never took advantage of, and let's just say you might be revisiting these when you both take a trip down memory lane as Levi likes to call it xD  
> Thanks for Reading!


	13. You Mean "Nothing"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: LEMON  
> XD YES THERE IS A LEMON IN THIS CHAPTER…  
> THERE WILL BE A WARNING BEFORE IT IF YOU DON’T WANT TO READ IT.  
> THE LEMON IS RATED FOR MATURE AUDIENCES, AS IT GETS PRETTY HEATED….  
> AND WELL, I GOT UNCOMFORTABLE WRITING IT XD  
> Sorry for any grammatical errors or spelling mistakes!  
> Please vote or comment if you enjoyed!  
> Thank you!  
> ***********************

  
There was really no point in denying it, being back here disgusted him more than I had seen coming, and for once, part of me understood. It felt good to be above, to not live in the murderous streets of rats, although it really was the safest place for people like me, _outcasts.  
_ But I didn’t have the right to call myself that anymore did I?  
An outcast wasn’t an appropriate label for me anymore, although I hadn’t succeeded much in fitting into my new surroundings. _You are a part of this squad, and you have become a part of me._ It had become a normal occurrence for that line to plague my thoughts, for it to drive me to a point of insanity I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to turn back. But I had to turn, because no matter where I went, _he_ was there. Condescending me, laughing at me, glaring at me, he was _always_ there.  
  
Especially now, as we took our first few steps back into the underground, doomed before we even began. I knew we were bound to be the subject of an attempt at robbery or murder, the way these streets worked, but nothing came. People walked out, surveyed us and then left, which worried me. If they knew who we were, then what was stopping Annie from knowing we were here? It was beginning to get suspicious, when I noticed a fairly auspicious criminal headed towards us with a good amount of stealth, if auspicious could even define him, he turned around when he observed us fully, and I noticed it wasn’t only me that saw the strange behaviour. Even if he knew me, he would surely speak to me, being the sleaze he was.  
Against my better judgement to wait for Levi’s command, I jogged up to the man, not afraid of him as I knew all too well who he was and that he was the best chance for an answer. Levi on the other hand, looked cross, doesn’t he always?

“Chet,” I growled furiously, placing my hand in front of him to get him to stop. I didn’t exactly get along with him, but we weren’t enemies either. He was good company in what could be an overwhelming sense of loneliness, although I favoured that lifestyle. He glared at me intensely, his dark green orbs burning into my flesh casually. He had dark brown hair, which often run loose wild, but he now had tied back, letting few pieces hang out. I couldn’t help but let a vague image of Eld appear in my mind, his appearance baring whatever resemblance I could find to Chet.  He had a tense expression, although he was often a cheery guy, signalling the lack of sleep he must have endured.  
  
“Didn’t think you came down here anymore?” he spat, motioning over to Levi as he did so, “and who’s this shorty, another member of your special Survey Corps?” that earned a snarl from Levi, and I could tell what he was planning, I motioned over to him just as Erwin did, my hand warning him. He got angrier at that, but accepted my silent request, to let me handle it.  
  
I sighed, knowing all too well why Chetwas angry, although that didn’t explain the strange behaviour of others. I hadn’t said goodbye to him, and as much as he pretended he didn’t care, he was one who couldn’t hold emotions for long, so I knew it was only a matter of time. “Chet, I’m sorry,” I got right to the point, knowing that if I engaged in useless chatter it would only aggravate the not so amused Levi currently about to burst in rage. _What’s his problem?_ But I turned back to Chet, noticing the mass of emotions currently sweeping across his face.  
  
I didn’t want to apologise, and I could tell he knew that, “You don’t have to fucking bore me with your pity, it’s what you always wanted, to get out of here, and you finally did.”  
He knew all too well that wasn’t true, I ran from them for a reason.

“Just accept my goddamn apology,” I sighed at his stubbornness, because he would cave eventually and I didn’t need time wasted, “I don’t know what you expected from me, I was caught Chet. I was finally caught, and I’m a part of them now, as much as I hate to admit it. You can hate me for it, but we both know the respect that resides for each other. So stop being so stubborn, and help me out.”  
  
I couldn’t help but glance at Levi, who was staring at me with, was that confusion? And within seconds it was gone, and the blank expression he was known all too well for came into vision once again. It was amusing to see how touchy his expressions were, you saw one thing you weren’t supposed to and it would be changed back in lightning speed.  Chet’s eyes lightened, seeing the sincerity in my words. The first time he had heard these kinds of words spoken from my mouth, just showing what the time with the survey corps had really done to me. It made me feel _weak.  
  
_ “What do you need?” I smirked internally, could _always_ count on him, even when he hated me. I let the smirk arise to the surface, it tugging at my lips. I noticed Levi shoot me a glare of warning, a look of if-you-tell-him-anything-i-will-personally-kill-you. I ignored it.  
  
“A couple things,” he sighed, rolling his eyes, “Why has every criminal in the area simply turned their backs on us?” he rolled his eyes again at this as I spoke.  
  
“Apart from the fact that everyone down here knows who you are, and wouldn’t dare go near you?” he asked, taunting me, he then pointed over at Levi, “It’s him, even though we live in the underground, we still know who he is.”  
  
Levi stiffened, allowing me to see a flicker of vulnerability, “All the talk about the Survey Crops members down here, you’d think they’d happily take the chance to jump one. That defeats the purpose of walking away,” I questioned him, sending him a questioning look to pair with it.   
  
“The fact of happily killing a member of the organisation is entirely true, not him though,” he glared at Levi, with an expression I couldn’t fathom; he probably sensed the dickhead vibe that radiated off Levi, “Not humanities strongest soldier,” he spat, disgusted.  
  
I knew Levi would be riled up, ready to beat what he thought was sense into him. He stormed towards him, his brow furrowing further than usual. I held my hand in front of him, making contact with his well-toned chest, hearing a snort from Chet.  
  
“I know under any other circumstances, you wouldn’t care what I have to say and beat him to a pulp,” I whispered to him, so only he could hear, “But right now, can you please trust me?”  
His jaw clenched, obviously not happy with my proposition, but to my surprise, he nodded and stepped aside, the anger not fading from his steely grey eyes.  
  
“Do you know why we are here?” I asked him, generally worried. Levi’s gaze hardened, if that was even possible.  
  
“I can take a guess, only because I’ve been up recently,” that surprised me, he never left this place, he noticed the shock in me, “I was worried about you, if you want to know why.”

That managed to shock me even more, he was always there, but I never thought I had him. I shouldn’t have been surprised at his honesty; he always spoke the truth after all.

He continued before I could speak, “Something to do with the titan-shifter, I presume. The rumours have been circulating down here, and it won’t take long for them to circulate about you both as well. You shouldn’t have been so stupid as to believe we wouldn’t know you, even you,” he pointed at Levi.

He was right, and I couldn’t believe that Levi had overlooked this. I looked over at Levi, who was acting strangely, there was something he was doing, the way he stood, the way his glare wasn’t the same as always, even the way he spoke. Being down here was messing with him more than I could have imagined.

“So be it, if she knows it gives her more of a reason to run, which leads to sloppiness, which leads to finding her,” I couldn’t tell if that’s what he honestly thought, or if he was just trying to cover up his mistake. By the way he was looking at me; I wondered whether it was even a mistake, or whether it was what he had planned. So many questions, so little breath to ask them.  
  
Chet laughed at him, not afraid of his death glare, this made him angrier, “Do you have any ideas to where she is?” I asked before something could happen.

“No, but if she is down here, I doubt she’ll be hiding this close up, if she’s smart she’d be hiding in the furthest parts of the underground, if she’s not dead already,” he scowled again, becoming what seems to be a permanent fixture of him.  
I moved closer to him, and began to whisper, “If you could get rid of what rumours you can I’d greatly appreciate it. And if you find some information, contact me.” I don’t know why I didn’t want Levi to hear it, probably because he’d stab me for telling someone in the underground to “contact me”. He nodded, allowing a familiar smile to etch across his lips. He wasn’t used to me being civilized; let alone asking him for help.

“Watch out for that guy, my gut instinct is never wrong,” I mentally laughed at him, as he nodded over to Levi. Always thought he was some kind of psychic, which at times really pissed me off, doesn’t everything? He was never wrong, which pissed me off even more.

 ********  
“What’s your problem?” I asked Levi, as we walked across the streets that shuddered with screams, far away from Chet. He ignored me, but clenched his hand, his fist wound into a ball.

“Does being down here disgust you that much?” I spat, suddenly angry.  
“I don’t know whether that’s a serious question,” he growled back, suggesting I was stupid for even asking, “Look around, this place is for rats.”

“You were a rat once,” I murmured, letting my voice take a break before the yelling I could feel coming. But the yelling didn’t come, instead continuing to walk, Levi’s body moving smoothly with every step. We needed to find shelter soon; we had only searched a part of this place, and found nothing. I knew that things got worse at night, more active if you’d call it. We hadn’t spoken until I asked him the question, the tension burning between us. I could feel exhaustion coming; we had engaged in fights with people who dared to go up against us, after all, what else could you expect from the underground?

“I know a place we can go,” I told him, knowing he’d be thinking the same. I changed directions slightly, moving towards my old apartment, if you could even call that thing an apartment. I stopped in my tracks, realizing that he would be in there too, in _that_ apartment.  
  
*******************

  
_He usually never came in, always annoyed with the fact that he’d have to walk me back, although I never asked him to. Anger flooded my bones from the day, where Isabel had almost gotten herself killed. She was reckless, which meant I always needed to keep one eye on her._   
_Everything had driven me on the edge today, this stinking place, the fucking horrible excuse of people that stayed here. It was sickening, paired with the fact that I had been around Levi way too much, and I needed to be alone, like most times. I could sense his boredom as we reached my place, letting myself ask why I never got a new apartment, this one was wearing out._   
  
_“You can go, Levi,” I declared, not letting my focus waver. My anger burned for him as well, mainly because of the way he’s been acting. He’s always been a dick, but ever since the kiss we shared in a heated workout session, he’s been unbearable. It hadn’t meant much to me at the time, everything had been leading up to it after all, and the tension had become unbearable. It felt good to let it release when my lips crashed to his own, but now, I wished it had never happened._   
  
_You know, usually when someone does such things, after it they don’t ignore you or treat you like shit, but that seemed to be his preferred method. I don’t even know why I let him, but all I knew was that it awoke a hunger I couldn’t possibly fulfil. Not a hunger for him, not that inconsiderate ass that reminded me to much of people in my past as well as myself. A hunger for passion, something I hadn’t felt in my impassive stature, well, not like that at least._   
  
_As much as I tried to deny it, the tension was still there, building itself up for a climax.  Due to my wandering thoughts, I didn’t notice that he was still here. He had followed me and was standing in my doorway, glaring at me._   
_“What the fuck do you want, Levi?” my temper really did control me sometimes, but I knew that anger was my strength, and like hell I was going to ever give it up. His brows were furrowed, and a smirk played on the tips of his lips, his fucking demon lips. He still didn’t answer, so I made my way over to him, fully intendant on pushing him away._   
  
_However, the closer I got, the thicker the tension became, and I swear I could have cut it with a butter knife. I stopped moving, close enough to him to push him away. I was about to, before his hand caught my arm, and dare I say, I should have seen it coming. I mean, no one touches the precious Levi. I shook my hand off him, noticing the heat that shot through my arm at the contact. He finally let his smirk glide onto his face, screaming the word stupid at me._   
  
_“Can you get out, your arrogance is distracting,” he raised his eyebrow, amusement glimmering in his eyes._   
  
_“You sure it’s my arrogance that’s distracting?” I could have punched him for that line, but I knew he’d just block it, and I couldn’t face the contact of his unforgiving hands on my own._   
  
_“Remind me why you’re still bloody here?” I growled at him, fist clenched. His smirk twitched, and his composure stiffened for a moment. I felt my throat go dry, realizing what I was craving. The tension was building, and I wandered what he was going to break it with. My breathing was steady, although I felt the casual irregular heartbeat, my chest rose and fell, controlled._   
  
_“If you’re just going to stand there, then I might just stab you,” I was entirely serious, I needed to get him out of here. I could practically feel the blood in my veins boiling._

_“Are you suggesting you’d like me to do something else?” his smirk was basically suffocating me, it wasn’t often he was such a smart ass, more of the serious unemotional extremely strong asshole.  All the moments we had never taken advantage of piled on top of one another, thickening the air that surrounded me.  I wanted him to, he wanted to, so why didn’t he just do it?_   
  
_“Are you going to?” I asked him, irrationality burning through my voice. I saw his jaw tighten, muscles clenched to the point I thought it might stay like that forever. When he didn’t reply, I repeated, “Are you going to, Levi?”_

_And without any warning, he hit the wall beside me, making a hole in my apartment wall. I was prepared to scream at him, but the look in his eyes talked me out of it. He wouldn’t have done that unless he needed to release something, so I accepted it, not like this apartment was incredible anyway. I figured I wouldn’t even bother to patch it up, maybe just hang something in front of it. That’s how he chooses to control his anger, through violence against the weak wood of my wall, so I knew the answer to my unspoken question. He obviously regretted what happened between us, I was nothing to him, just as he was to me.  
  
And with that I turned around, slamming the door into the frame he was once standing in, knowing that tomorrow, all of this would have been forgotten, but the tension would still be there.  
It was **always** there.  
  
*************  
  
_He already knew where I was thinking, and I couldn’t help but see the strain that was on his face as he walked in front of me, my apartment coming into view. It’s a moment like this I wish I had actually found a new one, but there was something about this one that made me stay here.  
 _Probably because it held a moment when Levi was actually vulnerable,_ I laughed at the sickening thought.

We had stayed silent for the rest of the walk, and I could hardly contain my fits of laughter when we reached the door, noticing the hole still placed charmingly beside it. It screamed _Levi has anger issues_ , which made me laugh even more internally as Levi stiffened. I opened the door generically, ignoring the layer of regret that had begun to cloud my once pure vision.  
Without a second to rethink what I was doing, I headed into the apartment, not noticing that Levi hadn’t walked in, or more like denying the fact that Levi hadn’t walked in.    
I took in the sights once again, even though it wasn’t long since I had last been here, it was a plain apartment. It was a cold hard slab of wooden floor that held everything up, with only few things to hold up of course, a plain black couch, that I had spent countless nights sleeping on despite the bed that was in the room attached to this one, the wooden table placed inconveniently in the middle of the room and the poor excuse of a kitchen next to it, it wasn’t much, but I never complained.

I turned around, my feet dragging against the floor, adjusting to it once again. He was stood in the doorway, same stance he used to take up, and I could tell he was doing it purposely, although he had the same expression of boredom that he always did. It felt as if I was living it all over again, except I was more broken than I had been.  
I had let people get to me, as well as this damn Survey Corps. There wasn’t one day that went by that I didn’t see something that reminded me of Eld, which led to me being reminded of Levi’s harsh words about him. This flared my anger particularly well, and I couldn’t help but send an imaginary thanks to him for making me want to slit everyone’s neck.  
  
“You can come in you know?” I addressed, glaring at him, “You don’t have to become a permanent fixture of my doorway.”

He had been silent for a surprising amount of time since we were here, which I enjoyed, much better than hearing the filth that spat from his mouth. To my surprise, he walked in, hesitating slightly but enough for me to notice.  
The silence that filled the room was paired with tension, and the heat fluctuating from my body wasn’t making things any better. _All the fights that had happened here, all the fucking shit._ Then there were other parts, which I didn’t care to look back at, that made my throat go dry.

I looked up through the whole in my ceiling, which had come with the place unfortunately, I would have liked to do it myself. It had a perfect view  of the stars, the only thing I really liked about this place, even though the air around here is absolutely miserable.  
I had so many questions on the tip of my tongue, knowing that if I wanted answers, this silence would be the best time to get them. But when I opened my mouth, I realized I didn’t know what I exactly _wanted_ to know.  
Why didn’t you come back?  
Why do you act like you don’t know me?  
They were questions, but I don’t know what I wanted out of them. I wanted an explanation, but didn’t I have it already? He left because he didn’t care, he acted like he didn’t know me because he didn’t care, _I was nothing to him, just like he was nothing to me.  
_  
 _What am I doing? First I end up letting people get to me and break me, now I’m wondering things that don’t matter anymore? I don’t even know who I am anymore, when I left here, everything changed for me. He hadn’t changed one bit, and it makes me wonder why I have._  
  
“You can sleep on the bed in there,” I spat, surprised at my change in attitude, or more like, fed up with this bullshit. I motioned over to my room, if I could even call it that, I never spent time in there, and the stars were out here anyway. He glared at me, and I could practically feel all the insults he had for me in the air. I matched his with my own deadly glare, raising the tension. He just continued to stand there, his muscular build illuminated by lights.  
  
“Is there something you want?” I snapped, “Because if not, I don’t see why the fuck you’re still standing there,” burning rage coursed through me, seeming like only reaction I ever had to him.

“No, but there’s something you want to say, so just say it already,” he sounded annoyed, and his scowl had deepened, “then we can get back to the task at hand.”  
  
“I don’t have _anything_ to say to _you_ ,” it wasn’t exactly a lie, but it wasn’t being honest either. The hostility between us was going to get between killing that titan shifting bitch, and I hated it.

“Just fucking say it, stop being such a stubborn immature brat.”

He knew how to press my buttons, and can I say, my buttons have been pushed.  
  
“Maybe you should stop acting so damn immature and actually acknowledge the existence I’ve had in your life,” I snarled at him, taking a step closer. It blurted out, but it felt good to see more anger flood into his eyes, proving I affected him just as much as he did me.  
  
“Why would I do that? When your existence didn’t mean anything?” I laughed at him, literally, close to doubling over. It wasn’t a crazy laugh, nor a sad one, instead just a general laugh that flowed out my mouth beautifully.  
  
“Whatever you have to tell yourself to sleep at night, Levi,” the smirk was wide enough to cover my entire face, and it riled him up further. He jumped towards me, both of us collapsing to the ground in an angry heap. I grunted at the pain from my forgotten injury, his ankle seemed to be fine to him, not that he’d ever let me see him in pain.  
  
He pinned me down, his chest practically growling at my own, causing me to wince in pain. He noticed this, but being the prick he is, didn’t care, “You mean **_nothing_** to me,” his elated heartbeat said otherwise, although that could have been from anger.  
I doubted it, his heart beat never rose, it was almost inhuman, but I could hear his pulse beat slightly faster than usual, and could feel it too.  
  
“No,” I spat at him, not fighting his grip, “ ** _You_ ** mean nothing to me.”  
I almost gasped at how sincere it sounded, I was a good liar, but I had no idea I was _that_  good. His grip on me tightened. I expected to see a flicker of disappointment or sadness to flicker through his eyes, but I was naïve to believe such things.    
  
I felt his leg collide with mine, which surprised me, he must have been holding it up. His eyes bored their way into me, and I could feel the heat off his body collide with mine. We stayed in the same positions, and tried to stare each other down.

 **Warning: Lemon coming up, RATED FOR MATURE AUDIENCES.**  
 **It’s like… right down there so I suggest if you don’t want to read it than don’t go down xD**  
********************  


 

 

 

 

 

  
“Say that again,” Levi threatened, “I dare you.”

His gruesome hold did nothing but let the words fall out of my mouth easier, the fire in my eyes clearly evident.    
  
“You mean **_nothing_** to me, Corporal” the last word burned in my mouth, and before I could take full control of myself, I pulled his head towards me and crashed his lips against my own. My mind had no idea what it was doing, but my body surely did. He grunted at the impact, but we were soon in sync, his lips were hard against my own, burning against each other. My mouth opened in entrance and out tongues collided, fighting each other for dominance, I could taste tea in his mouth and the familiar scent of bleach clogged my senses.  
  
His hands moved down my body, his grip clawing at me much like a cats, leaving red marks that I wasn’t sure would fade. I wasn’t any gentler, as my hands almost ripped his hair out, pulling on the strands while the kiss deepened. It wasn’t enough, there was still so much anger, and so much ferocity begging to be felt.

We pulled back to breathe, but didn’t waste one second as he ripped off my shirt, the buttons meaning nothing in this unspoken war, his lips trailed down my neck, nibbling on my skin hard enough for a groan to emerge from my lips, I felt him smirk against the crook in my neck. I pulled his shirt off him, and allowed my hands to trail across his toned chest, an eight pack of abs that were just taunting me. I felt Levi’s breath against my chest, as he trailed down to my breasts, biting at them, enticing more groans to release from my mouth. My hands gripped his back, tearing down his shoulder blades leaving fresh red marks.  
  
I pulled his head back to mine, the desire coming to a climax as our tongues burnt together in passion and our bodies pushed together roughly, his tongue licked every inch inside my mouth, his saliva mixing with mine. I ripped at his pants, not breaking from the embrace as he struggled out of them. He bit down on my ear while making his way down with his lips, stopping right above my panties sucking on the skin lightly, teasing me.  
He rips the panties off violently, and his tongue massages against my clit, sending vibrations throughout my body as he bites down gently on it. His tongue entered inside me, searching for my sweet spot, I moaned in pleasure when he found it, arching my back and shuddering. His tongue continued to explore and I could feel my climax coming, rippling with pleasure until he pulled out, causing myself to let a disappointed moan escape my lips, he smirked up at me, _two can play at this game._  
  
I flipped him over, crushing my body on top of his in overwhelming friction. My skin was brittle at the feel of his boxers, before I tugged them off, his erection sprang out in front of me, and _god_ _don’t judge a man on his height, because that was surely not the case._ I opened my mouth, inserting his size and licking it vigorously, he moaned, begging me to take more in. I pushed it in further, my tongue gliding smoothly over it and sucking on it fiercely, I allow myself to bite down on it lightly, hearing another groan immerge from his lips. Once I knew he was close, I pulled out, challenging him with my eyes. He took the challenge and picked me up, smashing me against the wall, lighting more lighters to the fire we were already burning.  
  
I felt his member grind against me, sending shockwaves throughout my body, our lips met again, biting at each other and supressing moans. The hunger was to strong, I needed him now. He sensed it, and gripped my hips tightly while positioning himself at my entrance fiercely, his jagged hands leaving bruises on my smooth skin. Kissing me harshly, he thrust brutally inside, sending our bodies alight in fire. He thrusts in deeper, rough enough to be painful but extremely pleasurable, my hands clawing at his hair and chest. The anger that resided between us was demanding, as we groaned at each other as his thrusts got faster and harder.    
  
“Levi,” I groaned his name as I was beginning to reach my release, as he pummelled my mouth into another violent kiss. I tightened myself around his member, his moan burning throughout my own mouth.  
  
“(y/n)” he whispered as we both reached our releases, the pleasure of it mixing together as one. The vibrations shook throughout my body, my groaning silenced by the kiss Levi planted on my wet lips.  We collapsed to the floor in a heap, a sweaty, burning heap of never ending fire.  
  
I could feel the rage drifting through the air as I panted, allowing myself to digest the hunger I’d awoken once again. I looked down, remembering my injury at the bruise stinging on my stomach, humorous to think it had no impact on the encounter. A smirk burned its way across my face, seeing the one planted on Levi himself, all too confident in my nude body as I stretched out, realising my body from the pain, the amazing pain I had just endured.  
  
I could feel the heat still lighting up the air around me, and the smirk on his lips was enough to awake the hunger again.  
This was going to be a fun night.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this chapter.  
> Things be heating up between you and Levi oo00oo0  
> Could this be a start of a relationship or just angry sex?  
> Or does what happens in the underground stay in the underground?  
> Me with this anger man, first an angry reader now an angry lemon. *throws ice bucket water on self*


	14. Humanity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry if it’s short, and the apologies are strong for the wait…   
> I simply haven’t had enough time, but I plan on making up for it somehow.  
> I don’t even know what happened with this chapter, so I’m sorry if it’s horrible.  
> Sorry for any grammatical or spelling errors, didn’t have time to proof read, or I just couldn’t be bothered xD  
> ******************************************************************************************

  
My body throbbed with exhaustion, begging for some sort of realise as we ventured through this retched place. I had hardly gotten any sleep, my body was barely able to maintain in the events that transpired while I should have been sleeping.   
  
No lies were travelling through my mind at this moment, only the truth.   
And the truth was that I had needed him, as hard as it was to admit. All this rage that coursed through me in what seemed to be an endless supply needed to be released, and he gave me the perfect option for realising it. Part of me thought that he knew this, and he needed to let go a small fraction too. It gave me a smirk of satisfaction to think that he needed me; he never needed anyone after all.   
And I guess you could say I didn’t either.   
  
From the way he’s been acting ever since it happened, has managed to give me a fleck of doubt. He didn’t look to give a fuck at all, simply returning to the way he’s always been and treated me. It was naïve to think he’d act any different. The worst thing about it was, he didn’t look any different either, his raven black hair falling perfectly over his head, his jawline as crisp as ever, whereas, I undoubtedly looked like shit.   
  
It wasn’t that I cared what I looked like, but even I couldn’t deny the fact that I felt somewhat weak in his eyes, which managed to imprint a scowl on my face. I hoped that me looking as weak as I could through his smouldering eyes would disgust him, which could work in my favour and keep him away from me in every way possible, so that this way I wouldn’t do something I’d regret, _again._ Who am I kidding, I wish I regretted it, but even the filthiest rats in the filthiest sewers knew I didn’t. Something about the word filthy had caught my eye recently, mainly due to the way Levi had a slight squirm whenever his attention was caught on anything of the such. And in the case we were currently in, everything seemed to be filthy, so the amusing twitches on Levi’s mouth were my current form of entertainment.   
The underground looked to be his worst nightmare, not because of the past he’s had with it, or the death that reeked inside it, but because everything was _filthy.  
_ I snorted at the endless thoughts about Levi’s cleaning addiction, earning a glare from the bleach king himself.   
  
“What exactly are you finding amusing, brat?” he spat, not resisting to brush off the non-existing dirt from his clothing, this just seemed to validate my thoughts and I let out a smirk and another snort. I ignored his his fuming as I continued walking down the silent alleyway, keeping my eyes sharp.   
  
I wondered whether what happens in the underground stays in the underground was a key factor to me and Levi’s current standing, we had only been here a short while and shit already hit the fan, who knew what could happen for the duration of the assignment. Or would he just forget about it like he already seemed to with last night? It was quite infuriating, the fact that I’m spending my time stooping over him, asking myself questions that he’d only have the answers too.   
The irony, I promised myself to get answers from him, some form of justification at least and I ended up more confused than I was when I had begun. This wasn’t like me, I always got answers, I never let people push me around the way he did. What, just because I’ve had a past with him it automatically grants him my silence? He doesn’t seem to give a single fuck about anything, so maybe I should take up that way of thinking again; it surely worked for me the last time.   
That was, until _Eld._  
It wasn’t just him, but I felt as though it was him more than anyone. The fact that I remembered him in such vain was probably hideous to anyone else, the only thing I could think about him was that he had managed to crack me, and I hated him for it.   
  
Back to the task at hand, which happened to be just as infuriating as the man walking beside me. We had been searching for the titan bitch for god knows how long, and come up empty handed each time. The frustration never ended, and I found my patience growing wary, we were supposed to give this place the best search we could, and I honestly didn’t know how the fuck we were going to. Not big on the optimism here, but so be it.   
  
So now, we were following Chet’s advice, or more what seemed the most logical but at the same time stupidest thing we could come up with. Despite contrary belief, being stealthy around here was hardly existent, people here weren’t scared, rather safe than anything, living a life like rats was something you became used to, and comfortable with. So many lived out in the open, rid of fear, then there were people like me, that lived in the shadows, a rather peculiar way of life based on the foundation of a reputation.   
I’m not surprised that I haven’t managed to clash with any acquaintances I had here, but I doubt that this will last long, as the people I knew weren’t weak instead rather strong within themselves, leading them to the only place that seemed fitting, and the place we were enduring this much movement to reach.   
The extremity of the underground, the depths of it, the ruthless end where you can only watch out for yourself, it felt like an eternity since I had last been there.   
  
When we stepped out of the clearing of the alleyway, my breath hitched inside my throat.   
I wasn’t _afraid,_ I wasn’t _weak,_ and I wasn’t going to be like that. I could hear the distant sounds of screams paired with uncanny laughter. As my eyes caught sight of the gigantic building ahead and the fluorescent lights that flickered on occasion, I knew exactly where we were.   
It wasn’t a place that was distributed heavily around the underground, as this was the only placement of such a thing. What was the appropriate word for it, a _blood bath?  
_ That’s what it was entirely, where the strongest and quite often the weakest fought against each other driven by nothing but greed, there were no rules there, not that there were any down here anyway.   
It was where the _animals_ fought, which is what we are, _animals._ Everything I had seen from inside the towering place was nothing short of animalistic, nothing more and nothing less. It was built like a stadium, and the aura that surrounded it screamed danger, the amount of blood that was shed inside this would be enough to drown us all. I could hear the shouts coming from inside it, quite an obscure comparison to the silent air that roamed around us.   
  
When we walked inside, I realised what it really was to be _stared_ at, people knew of me, and I hardly made appearances like this. However when I did, people never stared like they did now, there was no doubt that word had gotten around about my current standing above ground, and having Levi with me wasn’t exactly helping me in keeping eyes off me. Truth be told, I had no idea why we weren’t being stealthy, any intelligent human would know that this would be the smartest of actions, yet it was Levi’s command, so I was left with nothing but to follow it like a stray dog.

The stench of gore clogged my senses as people averted there gaze from us, some ending it with a glare while others with interest. Judging by the amount of swaying that was taking place, many of them had gotten drunk, some were trading and selling and some were engaging in pointless fights. But if that titan bitch would be anywhere here, it would be in one of the arenas, where a battle was taking place. I walked up the crusty stone steps, feeling the displeasure radiating off Levi in powerful motions.   
  
When we made it to the first arena, I noticed Levi’s jaw clench to the point I thought it could break. A battle was in place, not like those pointless fights, a fight differs from a battle immensely; battles rely on strength as well as wit, and in the kinds of battles here, its win or die. What was the point of all this? It was predicated on the hope of victory, in which you would gain winnings as well as respect. These battles were driven by nothing but greed, if you surrendered then you’d most likely be brutally bashed or marked with the word weak for life, and most people rather die. When you’re labelled weak in the underground, all you can ever do is try to redeem yourself, or die. If you win however, you become respected or envied as well as gaining winnings that are like gold to the pigs of the underground.   
I should refrain from calling them pigs, after all I was one of them, and maybe I still am.   
  
I knew this place like the back of my hand, I competed here whenever I found myself needing the money and had never lost, proved by the heart beating in my chest. It was the main reason people knew of me and I hated it more than words could describe, soon enough they made the connection to me being the ripper, as I could not change my killing tactics, and well, no one dared to mess with me then on.   
I had a rather interesting reputation, you could say.   
Many people would say a valuable reputation, but I am repelled at the thought of that.

I couldn’t help but feel a pair of eyes burning through me as I let my eyes search the arena; looking for any glimpse of the titan bitch I’d been given. I couldn’t help but notice the amount of people staring at Levi, which made me wonder whether they knew who he was, or rather wondered who the new meat was.   
  
He hasn’t been here in years, so surely they couldn’t visualize him. I didn’t have to look too far, before my eyes were caught in someone else’s, their piercing blue eyes pressed into a strong furrow. _Isaac_. An acquaintance I had the bad fortune of seeing, a sigh erupted from my pursed lips and I felt Levi’s aroma grow more heated.   
That’s when it clicked, they knew each other.   
_Of all the people, it had to be him._   
  
I didn’t bother to hide my disgust as I saw the figure that stood beside him, when she noticed me I could almost feel the disappointment etching throughout her; she thought I was gone of course. The poor excuse of a woman that girl was, even the sound of her name made my body quicken with rage. _Alexa_ , never have I ever felt such violent thoughts for someone of that name.   
  
The girl that had so eagerly spun a web of lies about my brother, and sent him to his very own death bed at her own feral hands, the amount of times I had been close to killing her was unreal, before someone got in the way, such a cowardly girl never walked around without protection. Hence the killing sprees I went on to let off fuel, I vowed to myself I would kill her and Levi knew this, which made me wonder his reaction to the evil bitch.

  
I was so caught up in the thought of her heart slowly coming to an end I didn’t notice the muscular frame clouding my vision, before he spoke, the voice I seemed to be sick of hearing.  
“Well, if it isn’t humanities strongest,” his fist wound into a ball, as Alexa somewhat cowered behind him, pathetic wasn’t enough to describe such filth.   
  
“Oh, the traitorous bastard I assumed had died with the rest of the pathetic rats residing here,” Levi spat, his cold gaze smouldering them to ashes. _Traitorous? He must think Isaac betrayed us by becoming Alexa’s new guard dog._ The word _us_ tipped off the edge of my mind, _now is not the time to be having these thoughts._ This is why I never placed my trust in Isaac, you can never trust anyone in this world, and at best you can only use them for your own benefit, that’s the reality of it.   
  
“So the rumours are true, you really have become the pretentious scum I always knew you’d be,” he glanced over at me, thinking I didn’t notice the regret that flashed through his eyes, “I would say I expected more of you, but that would be nothing but a lie.”

“Lying’s what you do best, why stop now?” Levi growled, his stoic form dissipating as the seconds ticked by. It wasn’t that he had anger issues; it was more that he wasn’t one to be pushed around.  
  
“I think you forget that we are all Liars here,” he looked Levi up and down before opening his mouth to speak again, “It’s a shame you haven’t grown at all.” I could have snorted at this, if I wasn’t so blinded by red. To my surprise, Levi threw no punches, yet the tension in his bones released his corporal stance in full affect and his i-don’t-give-a-single-shit attitude making a comeback.              
Got to admit, the stoic form really did fit well on him, and could scare anyone within a five mile radius.   
  
“It’s a shame you’re still the same rat living in the same sewer,” he replied, his voice icy, “I guess some things never change.”   
  
“And some things do,” he muttered, his words trailing off in thought as his eyes reached mine, I narrowed my eyes to him, warning him not to test me, “I heard that you had joined in the pointless crusade of mankind, but I didn’t believe it. Especially not since _he_ left, but I’ve been proven wrong and saying I’m disappointed would be an understatement.”

“And saying I gave a fuck would be a lie,” I shot back, resentment glowering at the reference to Levi, the last thing I needed was for him to know what it was like when he left, “I could say I wasn’t expecting you to be here with _her_ but a part of me always knew what a pathetic coward you are.”

At the mention of anything to do with her, Alexa’s face grew strained, a look that seemed to only deepen the amusement glimmering in my calm eyes. I knew it wouldn’t be long until that calm turned to rage, but I enjoyed the moment where my breathing was steady, almost as controlled as Levi’s always seemed to be.   
  
“Care to engage in a small battle while we’re here _Alexa?”_ her name rolled of my tongue, burning like wood to a fire, “I’ll make sure you’re death bed is covered with fake flowers, a representation of the fake bitch you are. Not insulting in any way particular but your forehead creases seem to have grown more constant, not to mention the façade of innocence that seems to have disappeared. Oh no, don’t tell me your reflection is finally showing who you are inside, that’d be a shame to see a girl that ugly.”   
  
She gasped, obviously not expecting me to speak to her, but I could hardly contain the remarks on her appearance, her one and only vice that she relied on entirely. She was, how could I say this?   
A _whore._  
And my brother was just another one of her prey.   
  
She suddenly seemed to have a surge of fake confidence, which was nothing but another façade in front of the coward that lied beneath her skin, “You’re brother never seemed to think I was fake, It makes me wonder how you were really related. You should consider yourself lucky, that your pulse is still beating, and not making threats you will never live up to.”   
  
I wasn’t angry.  
I wasn’t raged.   
_I was insane._  
  
I could feel my heart beat reaching a point of insanity, and all thoughts directed at ripping her throat out.   
“Maybe I should finish the job, I mean, you’re brothers dead. But you’re still alive, and quite frankly that annoys me, knowing that you breathe the same air. I know that Isaac would have all but too much pleasure in killing you, he reminds me a lot like you’re brother, willing at my every command.”

I thought I knew Isaac, the one I knew wouldn’t have stood for that comment, wouldn’t have listened to her undignified words about my brother let alone himself. But I knew everything I had known about him burned to ashes when he spoke up, proving that even time in a matter of weeks could change things in gigantic proportions, and “I’ll kill her like I killed her brother.”   
  
Everything faded then, and I knew there was no hope of me turning back, whatever humanity I had left in me had to have vanished at that point. I felt the air stiffen as Isaac stumbled back, as I noticed the red tint to Levi’s fist before he hit him again, and again, and again.   
Through Alexa’s screams, I heard nothing but the punches of Levi’s fist impacting on Isaac’s now bleeding face.   
As though this gave me more motive than I’d ever had, I pounced on Alexa like a lion to a zebra, ripping into her, really earning the name of the _ripper._  
  
When I looked over at Levi and caught sight of his blood stained hand that continued to impound onto Isaac's form, the words filthy and animalistic sat themselves inside my mind.

He wasn't going to kill him, and I wasn't going to kill her, I hadn't lost my humanity, and I sure as hell wasn't going to lose it to her.

_He wasn't a killer, far from it._

_And I knew that he wouldn't let him die that easily._


	15. Treading Lightly Pt 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> QUICK CHAPTER...   
> ONLY PART ONE THOUGH, MORE SHIT WILL WILL HAPPEN  
> I HONESTLY HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK I WROTE  
> WHAT AM I DOING, SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME?

Her face was bloodied, oncoming bruises already peaking, her lip swollen and her body shivering.   
Part of me wondered if I had gone overboard, but most of me enjoyed the sight of her like a sadist. Levi had stopped so much earlier than I, and had restrained me from pounding Alexa’s face in too much.   
  
Isaac was currently passed out, along with Alexa whose body was still involuntarily shaking even though she seemed to be unconscious. I didn’t see as many eyes on us as I had expected to, as most were focusing on the battle and had seen me in so many fights they deemed it normal, or rather they just didn’t recognise me, which was understandable, considering the fact that I could hardly recognise myself right now.   
  
This wasn’t the plan; we were looking for the girl that had killed so many comrades, even people to be considered friends, not engaging in pointless bashings. It wasn’t Levi, this wasn’t Levi and I didn’t understand why he couldn’t keep his restraint towards Isaac. He doesn’t care for me so why would he care for Isaac’s worthless claims of killing my brother?  
  
“What the fuck was that?” the words tumbled from my mouth before I had the chance to stop them, looking him dead in the eye with curiosity. His hand was the definition of red, smouldering and looking as though it could burn me.   
  
“We need to get back to the task, she’s obviously not in this arena,” he spoke, matching my gaze with the same emotionless eyes he gave to everyone, I never thought the way he is was an act, but in this moment I couldn’t help but feel that he was covering something. He walked through the doors of the arena before I even moved an inch, leaving both Isaac and Alexa lying on the floor.

I wasn’t going to let him do this now; he couldn’t avoid anything any longer. When I stepped back outside of the arena and moved to the next one, I was filled with determination.   
_There were so many things I would have said to everyone before they died, and if he died now it would just be another regret I hated myself for. Never getting answers was one thing, not facing things was another._  
  
“You’re not going to do this,” I growled, as I walked across the new arena to where Levi was currently surveying the crowd silently, “I don’t care if we get surrounded by titans right now, I want an answer because I am sure as hell done with your shit.”   
  
“Focusing on the task at hand is the main priority,” the amount of restraint it took not to slap him in that moment was enormous, “So focus.”

The restraint failed me, as I pinned him against the furthest wall away from the people and the battle, hoping not to gain more attention. He didn’t struggle against me, just pulled my hands off him with him still against the wall and me fuming.   
  
“Why did you almost beat Isaac to death, Levi,” I spat the words venomously, asking myself why I asked that question out of all of them.    
  
“You get stupider by the second. He was threatening to kill you, I hit him before he could get in the first move,” it was a lie, I knew it and he knew it. I guessed he expected me not to push him on it, if he did then he obviously didn’t know me that well.   
  
“Bullshit,” I growled, narrowing my eyes in evident anger, “Why can’t you speak the truth for once?”  
  
“Why do you insist on believing there is some sort of ulterior motive to everything?” he was as calm as ever, bored even, “Ever since you’ve been here, you’ve questioned everything I’ve done, rather pathetically. Almost as though you are trying to convince yourself that I’m different from what you see,” he leaned towards my ear, whispering the last part, “And out of everyone, you should be the one to know that’s not the case.”   
  
“I’m done,” the words tipped of my tongue like a vase off a bench, shattering at the impact it gets when it reached the floor, “As far as I’m concerned, I never knew you before I was captured, I never cared for you and I never _slept_ with you. You’re right, I’ve tried to convince myself that there is something other than hatred from me in your non-existent heart, I’ve tried to believe that you aren’t you, but I’m obviously wrong.”  
  
The silence hung in the air, nothing but my shallow breathing could be heard in my ears.   
Even though I admitted to being wrong, part of me was still surprised when he didn’t reply, when he looked at me with the same condescending smirk which appeared on occasions such as these. I made another choice then, one I knew I was going to regret.   
  
_It could have been considered an overreaction, but I couldn’t stay there anymore, I can’t see him every day when he looks at me like I’m nothing, when he acts as though I’ve never meant anything to him even from the years I had known him. I was never going to be able to focus, never going to have the rage subside, never going to be able to release the tension that so eagerly rose on the most unfortunate of occasions.  
_  
I walked away from him like I should have so many times, this time not turning back, knowing that he was one person that was either in my life completely or outside of it, there was no middle ground.    
   
~~~~~~  
  
  
I was beating the living shit out of him, and I knew it wasn’t soon before I’d kill him. People were shouting, rooting for the ruthless monster that was identified as _the ripper,_ that was identified as _myself._  
I didn’t care who it was or the people that surrounded me, all I cared about was enduring as much physical pain that I could, to burn off the anger that was sure to eat me from the inside like a virus.   
  
My hands could so simply snap his childish neck, and I would have no problem in doing so. But it would never be enough, the only thing that would, would be _her_ blood on my hands.   
If only I hadn’t promised him, that foolish brother of mine not to kill her,   
He loved her, and he was a bloody idiot for doing so.   
  
All I ever knew now was _hate;_ hate and anger were the only things that pushed me far enough, that let blinding rage overtake me enough to actually make a difference. So it didn’t make sense, that when I was calm much like Levi, that I was just as strong, I wanted to believe I hated everything, it was easier that way.   
  
I wasn’t surprised he didn’t come after me; he didn’t care after all did he? When I left I had retreated to a bar, drinking didn’t help me at all before I moved on to a rather popular fighting club, it wasn’t like the arena, there was no such thing as respect here, nor winnings. Simply a place to get out frustrations or test strength, and the word brutal hardly covered the way I was bashing his chest in right now.   
  
“I,” the man raised up one of his hands in defeat; “I concede, you’re good” he sputtered out, wincing at the amount of pain he was enduring. There was no hope of getting himself up, and although I had no respect towards those who surrendered, I pulled him up, hearing his staggered breaths and seeing his swaying body was enough to confirm he wouldn’t be conscious for long. I pushed him against one of the chairs near the bar, dispersing the crowd that surrounded us as some of them lingered in awe while others focused their attention to something else.   
I was the victor, which gave me the right to choice my next opponent, I hadn’t looked at any of the contenders, too busy in my own head while pounding someone else’s in. So when I saw his unmistakable pitch black hair, my blood boiled.   
  
_Why in the fucking world would he follow me, he knew I quit._   
  
I knew I couldn’t win, which just made things even more fucking annoying. If I didn’t fight him I’d look cowardly and weak, even more than I had managed to.

But before I even knew it, I was head to head against Levi; apparently I had no say in the matter when it came to him.   
  
“What are you doing here shorty?” I spat at him, disgust displayed all over my features. Trying to burn away whatever part of me that was glad he was here, that just wanted him to tell me I didn’t need him, so I could start to really believe it myself. But I hid all this with years of skill, even though I was sure he could wash away whatever lies I told him.   
I needed to stop being so honest with myself, I need denial, why the fuck is there no denial in my thoughts?   
  
“Tch,” he clicked his tongue, “If you don’t know then you’re more idiotic then I gave you credit for,” when I stayed silent he continued, “You made a choice, you aren’t just going to walk out on it, all because of what? Because I’m not the cuddly teddy bear you want me to be, well tough shit. You’re going to have to deal with it, I’m your corporal.”

“Not right now you’re not,” I growled, lurching at him with all my might, sending us both spiralling against the hard wood of the room’s floor. At first, he didn’t fight much, letting me hit him where I pleased, _and just fucking fight me already._  
I said that to soon, as his breath fanned my cheek while my arms were pinned down to the floor, an annoyed Levi hanging over me.   
_How did we always manage to get into this position?_

“I’ll always be your corporal,” his cold eyes drilled into my own that were lit with blazing fire, challenging him.   
  
“I didn’t think Corporal’s fucked their Cadets," I spat, seeing his gaze harden, only made the fury I had for him heat my body heat to the point it could burn to touch, yet he seemed perfectly fine pinning me on the ground, smelling the same scent of bleach on him despite the stench of the hellish underground.

“That was a mistake,” he growled and I couldn’t help the stabbing feeling I felt jolt at my  chest, even though I could tell he was lying, it still angered me that the words could so easily be spoken from his mouth. This short ass really could be the mind fuck of the century when he wanted to, I let a smirk radiate on my lips, trying to burn everything and everyone with rage.   
  
“I think you forget that I know you well enough to be able to tell when you’re lying,” I mused arrogantly, “And everything coming out of your mouth seems to be nothing **short** of a lie,” my smirk grew even wider as I put the emphasis on the word short, hardly containing the laughter that came out of nowhere, “Short joke was intended,” I finished.  
  
“You don’t know me at all,” his tone was deadly serious, and by the look in his eye I could tell it wasn’t the time to be neither sarcastic nor bitchy, but what right did he have to tell me otherwise. He screwed up, it takes two to tango but I refuse to be blamed for this, like the stubborn brat I am.   
  
“You’re right,” the words surprised him but I kept going, “The Levi I knew wouldn’t have left me like I meant nothing, the Levi I knew wouldn’t have acted as though the years of trust meant nothing, the Levi I knew wouldn’t have had no honour nor anger, the Levi I knew wouldn’t have slept with me in the goddamn underground like I meant nothing,” my voice was strained, hard to let the truthful words out of my mouth. When had everything gotten so fucked up?   
He was still the same cold, detached and stoic man he had always been, but why did he seem so different?   
  
“What happened to you, Levi?” it was the first time in a while I saw something inside of him soften, before it was replaced with ice, “Did I honestly never mean anything?”  
  
“What made you think you ever meant anything to me at all?” he sounded as if he was questioning himself more than me, but before I could answer he continued, “How did you ever expect me to come back when the only people you cared about had died had my own foolish hands?” He wasn’t looking at me with anger, no desperation, no fear, just cold, a blank expression that made my skin crawl.   
  
It was the first time he actually said anything worth hearing, and god knows why he was saying it now.  
All I knew was that I needed to tread lightly, or I was likely to get my head blown off.


	16. Treading Lightly Pt 2

**REALLY SHORT CHAPTER, I APOLOGIZE SINCERELY, EVEN THOUGH IT IS ONLY A PART O_o**  
IT’S ALSO REALLY SHIT. XD  
PLEASE READ THE END NOTE AS WELL  
AND VOTE AND COMMENT IF YOU ENJOYED!  
THANKS FOR READING!

 ****  
  
********************************  
  
Last Chapter:  
  
“What happened to you, Levi?” it was the first time in a while I saw something inside of him soften, before it was replaced with ice, “Did I honestly never mean anything?”  
  
“What made you think you ever meant anything to me at all?” he sounded as if he was questioning himself more than me, but before I could answer he continued, “How did you ever expect me to come back when the only people you cared about had died had my own foolish hands?” He wasn’t looking at me with anger, no desperation, no fear, just cold, a blank expression that made my skin crawl.  
  
It was the first time he actually said anything worth hearing, and god knows why he was saying it now.  
All I knew was that I needed to tread lightly, or I was likely to get my head blown off.  
************************************  
  
“That’s a pathetic excuse,” I told him, deciding that I didn’t care if he’d get riled up for it, “You promised me, and you dare to blame the fact that you broke that promise because they both died. How many times are you going to say it was because of them, can you never accept responsibility for anything?”  
What a fat load of crap that was coming from _my_ mouth.  
  
When he didn’t answer me, I pushed him off me and started running, running out of this damned place, away from him, anywhere else. I could hear him hot on my trail as I turned corners sharply trying to lose him, I didn’t even know where I was as I stood on the top of a small rooftop, knowing that the whole endeavour had been pointless as I heard his feet come to a halt behind me.

 “You can’t just run away, not anymore,” he growled as my breathing steadied, “Everyone dies, and I chose to believe that you died with them.”  
  
“Why are you telling me this now?” I murmured quietly, while my eyes screamed in anger.  
  
“You aren’t just going to quit, not while I’m your corporal, not while I’m your _captain_ ,” When I realised he wasn’t going to continue, my body took control, hitting him with my clenched fist. He didn’t stumble, just stepped back calmly preparing for my next attack.  
  
“After everything, that’s all I am to you?” why these words came out of my mouth was something I’d never understand, but I chose not to question myself and followed my instincts. Lunging for him unsuccessfully again and again, “Just another fucking soldier, just another dead girl walking, just another rat.”  
  
I didn’t manage to hit him once, which was when I understood something was wrong. I slowed my breathing, coming to a halt in my aggressions, letting whatever calmness I could retrieve overtake me. I was almost there, before I felt my breath burn in my mouth,  
  
“What do you want to be to me, (y/n)?” he was looking at me with curiosity; the mood swings with him were unreal. His scowl had somewhat loosened and his hair seemed to look a shade darker, the jet black strands lying perfectly against his skull.  
  
“Something more than just a rat,” I replied, disgust in my tone, “I know I’m more to you than that, so why can’t you admit it Levi?”  
  
He stiffened, somehow proving my accusations and looked up at me, drilling into my fiery eyes with his ice cold orbs.  
He stepped towards me, his feet colliding with the ground harshly, “What happens if I tell you that you’re more, (y/n)? If I tell you that I don’t regret sleeping with you, that I’ve been waiting to touch you for years. If I tell you that I wish I wasn’t your corporal, and that we didn’t live in this hell of a world?”

It was a rhetorical question, but it made me think more than anything did, “We are in the middle of an assignment, searching for something that could bring an end to human existence and you’re telling me to be honest? Tell me to be honest when we are out of this stinking place they call an underground, when you’ve finally proved you can actually follow orders and put your personal feelings aside when needed. You told not only me but Erwin that you won’t let such things cloud your judgement, so stay true to that.”

He sounded more annoyed than anything, but I knew that this was his way of saying _not now._  
He was entirely right; I had practically promised Erwin the exact opposite of what I was doing now.  


“I have to report the update, it’s your choice whether you come or not,” he grumbled, before jumping off the rooftop and heading towards the designated point to give a report on our findings. This was the only time that we could hear any legitimate information about what was going on within the Scouting Legion and other news, and practically the only time we could be brought back by orders without finishing the assignment.  
So the curiosity I felt when I saw the usually serious member of Erwin’s squad filled with worry was well deserved, while Levi stood bored as always, having not even looked at me on the trip here. We were in an abandoned building not too far off from one of the undergrounds entrances, the building looked as if it could crumble any minute.  
  
“You have been ordered to return immediately,” I could feel the man release a breath of relief as he spoke the words, while his face seemed to be the definition of strained, his eyes seemed begging, filled with fear.  
  
“What happened?” I questioned him, before Levi could interject; the man looked me straight in the eye, the same fear never disappearing.  
  
“Annie Leonhart isn’t here, she went on a rampage, I wasn’t going to come here but Erwin commanded me to, saying we needed humanity’s strongest,” he hesitated slightly from the words he spoke next, “That was before he..” he trailed off, leaving myself to tense.  
  
“He what? We don’t have time for this,” Levi growled, furious.  
  
“He’s in critical condition, as well as many other comrades, we were attacked out of nowhere, proving there is a spy amongst us,” he shuddered, earning a grunt from Levi.  
  
“How did this happen? What of Eren?” I spat out, Eren surely must have stopped something.  
  
He shook his head, “The titan boy went wild in the beginning, and when he came to his senses he could only hold her off so much.”  
  
“So please do tell me why the fuck we are just standing around with our heads up our asses while we are in havoc?” I yelled, not before leaping off the building, mad that such pointless conversations were taking place.  
  
“Annie’s gone.”  
The words made me stop in my tracks, as my breathing grew angrier, “What do you mean she’s gone?!”  
I glared daggers at the man, following suit after Levi’s own hard gaze, “She escaped beyond the wall, we weren’t prepared.”  
  
“Well you should have been fucking prepared,” I yelled at him, noticing him wince slightly, this must have been a sensitive topic for him but I didn’t give two shits. I was taking my anger out on him, I was blaming him, all because I loathed the fact that the titan shifting bitch had escaped. I continued to storm off, huffing as I did so.  
  
“Wait, there’s more information you should both know before we return,” the man spoke, finding whatever strength he could in his voice, I glared back at him, noticing that Levi had hardly spoken, “There was another titan shifter amongst the female titan and Yeager, thought to be the spy.”  
My body went rigid at his words, biting my tongue with enough power to cut it in half.  
  
“The titan shifter was...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OOOOO CLIFFHANGERS BE LIKE,  
> SO TELL ME,  
> WHO DO YOU THINK THE TITAN SHIFTER IS AND WHO DO YOU WANT IT TO BE?  
> IT COULD BE ANYONE,  
> ANYONE….  
> LEAVE A COMMENT LETTING ME KNOW WHO YOU THINK IT IS, AND WHOEVER GETS IT RIGHT WILL BE GETTING A COOKIE ^.^


	17. Kale

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AS YOU ARE ABOUT TO SEE, THE TITAN SHIFTER IS A NEW CHARACTER MUAHAHAHAH  
> SO MANY MORE POSSIBILITIES NOW MUAHAHHAHA  
> I just spoiled it before you read it…   
> *realization sets in*  
> As well, I know there is basically no Levi in this chapter *hangs head in shame* I apologize.   
> On a serious note: I’ve been going through something recently, and haven’t been myself and I still feel like absolute shit, but despite this I managed to finish this chapter, and it kind of helped in a way. I’ve been having ups and downs and luckily I wrote most of this in the up moments.   
> Once again, thanks for reading..
> 
> ***************************

**  
Previously  
“Wait, there’s more information you should both know before we return,” the man spoke, finding whatever strength he could in his voice, I glared back at him, noticing that Levi had hardly spoken, “There was another titan shifter amongst the female titan and Yeager, thought to be the spy.”   
My body went rigid at his words, biting my tongue with enough power to cut it in half.   
  
“The titan shifter is...”  
**  
 *******************************  
  
** “The titan shifter is a man that goes by the name Kale,we are confused as to whether we can really call him a spy as he seems to have no affiliation with the Survey Corps. When he turned he didn’t do much of anything it seemed as from what we saw he was inactive before we cut him out,” he croaked out, “When we did he was covered in bruises and scratches, and the only thing we have managed to get out of him is his name, which we can’t even be certain about.   
  
_These titan shifters sure are popping up everywhere._  
There was something the soldier was clearly refraining from saying, judging by the gulp that was caught in his throat.

  
“We were thinking he was from here,” he motioned around to our surroundings, earning another glorious glare from me, _why were they always so quick to assume._ But I suppose it was the only logical explanation, only people from here seemed to be the only ones to obtain pure invisibility, but in all truth, no one was really invisible in the underground. This guy was someone, and the temptation to find out whom purely outweighed any other thoughts that were plaguing my mind.   
This was good, a _distraction._  
  
“Enough for now, we are leaving,” Levi spoke, his voice cold and brash as he began to move with somewhat furious advances, leaving me and the overwhelmed soldier to trail behind him.   
  
*********************************  
  
When we made it back to HQ, I could hardly contain my laughter. See, not many find it funny when a female titan shifter declares war by going on a rampage through the city, especially when it leaves one of your highest valued superiors in critical condition while bleeding like he had all the blood in the world.   
  
But me, oh I somehow found the situation to be hilarious. This gave me the thought that I was finally crossing over that line of insanity, one that I possibly couldn’t recover from. It was even more humorous that Erwin looked more at peace lying on the infirmary bed close to dying than he ever did doing work in his office. His face was relaxed, smoothing out calmly making him look younger, much younger. Levi had stayed for no longer than a mere minute, before going god knows where. The infirmary was a mess, people scurrying to aid the wounds of so many comrades and civilians, I could do nothing but wonder how the fuck the capital was going to react to all this. We were screwed, so screwed I might as well have just stayed in the underground.   
  
Seeing Erwin so vulnerable, so close to death proved that no matter how strong you were, you could die at any moment. It proved that titans were nothing but killers, whether a human was inside them or not, it was what I chose to believe, better than being disappointed when Eren would lose control.   
  
_Have faith._ The words of Petra burned inside my mind like an emblem being burnt onto a sword, _faith is what killed you, I will not make that mistake._ If Erwin could see me right now, I could imagine the annoyance stricken across his features, knowing that I had been so distracted on our mission, that I had been so naïve. Love didn’t exist in this world, only anger and pain, the few that can see that might actually survive. I spent too long under the thoughts that Levi had brought back up, if only I could have kept them down, maybe none of this would have happened. We could have searched faster and with more expertise, we could have developed plans, we could have done anything else. If I hadn’t been so distracted, I would have been (y/n), I wouldn’t have been so naïve. That was not something that was going to happen again.  
It was worthless to blame people, but I sure as hell blamed him. I made my choice to hate him a long time ago, and I needed to stick by it.  
 _What happens in the underground stays in the underground?  
_ That was a motto I was going to agree with.   
  
I wasn’t here for Levi, I wasn’t here for feelings. I was here for titans, blood and the release of anger that never stopped building itself up like a phoenix that could never die.   
The first thing I needed to do was find this pathetic titan shifter that needed to give some answers, because as far as I’d heard, he hadn’t spoken a word but his name, which I was going to change.   
Either that or bash his head in, his choice.   
  
I relied on the assumption that he would be held where Eren once had been, which was entirely correct judging by the guards placed outside of the basement, it was either Eren or the man named Kale. Hopefully the scouting legion had been smart and took Eren to plead our case to the capital, and hid Kale back here until the moment came for him to be fully revealed. Who knows how many had witnessed another titan shifter amongst the female and Eren, not many that were alive, I guessed.   
  
As I got closer to the door one of the guards stepped out and stopped me in my tracks, “Where exactly do you think you’re going?” he had a squeaky voice despite his rather big stature, which threw all hopes of me being intimidated by him out the window.   
  
“Visiting my good old friend, is that a problem?” I narrowed my eyes in amusement, as the other guard stepped forward and put a hand on the squeaky ones shoulder, refraining him.   
  
“That’s the ripper girl everyone’s been riled up about,” he spat, before looking back at the other guard, “Remember the Commanders orders?” The other one nodded, not seeming to notice the amount my temper was burning away, the fact that my identifier here was nothing short of _ripper girl_ and that Erwin had given some _orders_ when it involved me made my heartbeat quicken with anger. How I got so angry at the most minuscule things was beyond me.   
  
I noticed both of the guards step aside to let me pass, making me wonder what Erwin had commanded of them, before walking off, I grabbed the non-squeaky guard by his collar, “Don’t you dare refer to me as ripper girl again, understand?” I tightened my grip on him, threatening him. People thought they knew me, knew who I was, but they had no fucking clue. The guard nodded hesitantly; obviously not happy with my threat but not fighting back, _whatever Erwin commanded of them has them wrapped around my finger._  
The more important question that laid atop the heap in my mind was, _why the hell was I getting special privileges?  
_ Erwin was one hell of a confusing bastard, and who knows what would happen if he didn’t wake up.   
I was surprised at how well the scouting legion was holding things together, almost as if they were trained to expect these sorts of things, to be prepared for the worst, it made sense to be like this in a world full of titans.   
  
I walked down the steps to the basement, seeing the bars that separated me from the rather striking man sat atop the simple bed. Saying this man was bruised was an understatement, he looked the definition of death, his eyes were bloodshot and he looked like a trampled squirrel. He had darkish brown hair, which was dishevelled and sticking up in all different directions, dark blue eyes that looked as though they were laughing at you and despite all of the bruises and marks, his body looked to be toned and muscular, and from what I could tell he was tall, as in double the size of Levi tall.   
  
If I wasn’t so morally disgusted by him, I’d find him attractive, and by the small smirk playing on his lips I doubted he had any problems getting what he wanted with charm. He was sat behind the bars in a similar set up to Eren’s, as though he didn’t even notice the chains around his hands he sat strongly, and would make any wimp mind whimper at his stare.  
  
“Most people find people staring at them flattering,” he spoke, a deep voice arising, “I don’t.” He glared at me, trying to intimidate me with his eyes. _If he thinks trying to scare me away is going to work he’s got another thing coming._  
The attitude and strength that I gained within myself let me stay calm at his words, narrowing my eyes at him in defiance.

“If you’re trying to be intimidating, you should take a look in a mirror,” I growled, “You can’t look intimidating when you look like a trampled scrawny cat.”   
His eyes twinkled with humour, lips curving into a smirk. I found it hard to believe that he hadn’t spoken at all, as he seemed quite fine with talking now.   
  
“You don’t look too impressive either,” I moved further into the space, leaning my back against the wall across from him, seeing him directly through the bars, “Wouldn’t expect any less from the famous ripper,” he was trying to find a weakness, something he had probably done with most of the people he’d seen.   
Unluckily for him, I was fine with the identity of a ripper. Ripper girl, was entirely different, merely the fact that _girl_ had been added to it, which made me think people underestimated me, or were condescending pricks like most of them were.   
I didn’t show any signs of annoyance, keeping my breathing the same, my glare the same and my stature the same.   
  
“I don’t get intimidated that easily, titan,” by the flicker of annoyance that hit through his eyes I knew he didn’t enjoy the name, “I would have figured a titan-shifter would be used to being labelled a titan, after all that’s what you are.”  
  
“That’s what your survey corps’s precious Eren is too, don’t forget that,” he replied, his voice growing darker with each word, “I’m wondering why a murderer is down here, does the scouting legion have no good sense at all?”   
  
“Unfortunately, I’m  afraid that’s the case, an organisation full of dim-witted idiots,” I snorted openly in disgust, “The very few credible ones are lying on beds at the verge of death, which I give my not so grateful thanks to you for,” he seemed humoured by my response, judging by the low chuckle that arose from his lightly parted mouth.   
  
“If you think I am at fault you are as ignorant as the rest of them, ripper,” he said sourly, I had a feeling the name would be sticking when he talked to me.   
  
“How could I not blame you? For all I know you could be the spy that led the titan-bitch to our front doorstep,” I replied angrily, “And quite frankly I don’t trust humans let alone any goddamn titan shifters.”   
  
“I suppose Eren isn’t on your trust list then?” he questioned, purely out of interest, but continued, “I have to say I’m disappointed in you, ever heard of innocent until proven guilty?”   
  
“Having faith, especially in the humanity of humans gets you killed,” I spoke, letting myself lean back on the wall further, “Considering the fact that your sitting behind bars gives me all the more reason to believe you to have done something wrong, it’s the way the subconscious works.”  
  
“Fair point,” the small smirk he had once held was turned into one that spread across his face in amusement, “I assume you aren’t here to merely enjoy my company, and you seem like someone to get down to things straight away so I wonder as to why you haven’t asked the questions that are no doubt shining in your head like a neon sign.”   
  
“I wonder that too,” I uttered, “Then I remember being told you had said nothing but your name, which leads me to believe many soldiers had tried getting you to talk and have been unsuccessful, so I thought I’d take a different approach.”  
  
“My my, am I being befriended by the insane murderer of the underground?” he exclaimed with fake happiness, “I knew this day would come, I just knew it.”   
_Sarcastic prick that is a gigantic pain in the ass,_ now there’s two of them.   
Other than those similarities, whatever connection that could be made between Kale and Levi was non-existent, at least in my eyes. In fact, if Kale wasn’t currently shoved behind bars and covered in bruises making him look like a squashed grape, I could assume he would be the kind of person you didn’t come across often, someone that had lost his humanity but hadn’t lost who he was in the process, someone _refreshing._  
Something about him screamed, _just because everyone else is dead doesn’t mean I have to stop living._  
  
“As much as I hate to disappoint you, I’m not exactly the friendly type,” I snarled, “As you have so delicately pointed out by the use of the word murderer.”   
  
“I’ve managed to catch on to that, and I would like to say that the annoyance of you bores me, but on the contrary you’re the most interesting person that’s walked through that door,” his smirk had decreased, as he rested his head back onto the slab of wall behind him, maintaining eye contact. We had barely taken eyes off each other since I had entered, purely an attempt to prove he wasn’t weak, no doubt.   
  
  
“If your trying to charm me, you’re efforts are pointless,” he didn’t chuckle as I’d expected him to, but yawned instead.  
  
“And I thought we had something,” he spoke again with fake hurt, before returning to normal, “Despite the thoughts you may hold of me, I have no need to charm people in this world, what’s the point in it my dear ripper?”   
_If there was one way you should never speak to me, it was with condescendence. And those last few words screamed it.  
_ But to my own surprise, my breathing stayed at the same pace, almost as if he didn’t aggravate me.   
_Jesus Christ, what am I talking about, **everyone** aggravates me. _  
  
“All of this talk and I realise I don’t actually know your name,” he added, curiosity playing in the dark blue ocean that were his eyes.   
  
“And you won’t be getting It.”   
  
“Unless you’d like to be called my dear ripper I’d suggest otherwise,” he smirked again, as he shook his head back to get rid of the small strands of hair lingering in his face, breaking eye contact for a second before returning, his eyes refuelled with intensity, “And I think it’s only fair since you know mine.”  
  
“It’s (y/n),” I paused, bored, before continuing,  “you know of my identity as the ripper, which makes me wonder if the assumptions about you being from the underground are correct,” I proclaimed, as he narrowed his eyes at me in annoyance.   
  
“Should have known the small talk wouldn’t have lasted for long, I would give you points for the smoothness of the question if I wasn’t so sick of hearing the word underground over such a small period of time,” he snapped, on edge.   
  
“You avoided the question.”  
  
“Points for stating the obvious, people usually avoid questions because they don’t wish to answer them, I am no exception,” I saw his left leg twitch as he said this, probably from pain.   
_If he is a titan shifter he’d be healed by now, unless his injuries were far more severe when he was cut out. Or unless he wasn’t like Eren or Annie, that would explain why he was “inactive” during the battle._  
  
It was when his head cocked to the side slightly in annoyance that I noticed it, the black mark printed on the side of his right shoulder blade, I only saw it for a second as his clothing placed itself atop of it once again.   
I didn’t need a second glance; I knew exactly what it was.   
I got more information from that symbol than I could possibly get from him.   
He was from the underground, more importantly,   
**he was against humanity.**  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *********************************  
> What do you think of the new character?   
> I know it’s a little hazy on the details of his personality,   
> but I will be uploading a profile on him eventually.   
> As you all know, the reader hasn’t exactly met Mikasa, Jean, Armin and such, well not as I remember.. . and I didn’t exactly feel like making any of the actual characters titan shifters as you can’t really imagine them unless they are the ones from the manga *no spoilers*  
> And this way, so many possibilities are open…   
> Do you think Kale is good or evil? If he was against humanity then what does he plan to do as a titan?


	18. Kale Pt 2

**PLEASE READ THE FOLLOWING ^. ^**

OKAY, SO AFTER THE MONTH THAT I HAVENT UPDATED FOR, I DIDN’T WRITE ANYTHING.   
AND BY ANYTHING, I MEAN **ANYTHING.** NOT JUST THE FANFICTION, BUT I HAVE NOT WRITTEN ONE SINGLE WORD APART FROM TYPING TO PEOPLE. WHY? YOU ASK, BECAUSE I HAD A GIGANTIC UNEXPECTED HIATUS, HENSE THAT I HAVE NOT BEEN EVEN REMOTELY ACTIVE.   
I’VE EVEN FALLEN INTO A COMPLETELY NEW ANIME. (FAIRY TAIL BTW, IF YOU WERE WONDERING)  
AND TO TOP IT OFF, I’VE MANAGED TO NOT READ OR WATCH ANYTHING INVOLVING LEVI FOR AN ENTIRE MONTH, SO WHEN I SAY I FELL OF THE FACE OF THE EARTH, I MEAN IT SERIOUSLY.   
  
So when I did decide to write again, due to the fact that the holidays have started, and I’m completely blank. You’d think that you’d come back refreshed and such, but I haven’t been near my fanfic for a whole month, and I am so blank it’s unbelievable. It’s not the fact that I’m not obsessed with Levi anymore, I think that the poster of him currently staring at me proves otherwise, it’s that I simply fell out of it. As known, I was having a few issues and troubles with depression and such, which might be the cause of it.   
  
When I wrote this chapter, I was entirely confused in what I was doing, I have no idea where im going with this or anything and I don’t even know if I will continue it. I myself don’t like this chapter at all, and I know it’s incredibly short and this explanation is probably longer than the actual chapter but I needed to update and yeah.   
  
SO YEAH, IM PROBABLY GONNA NEED A LITTLE TIME TO REFRESH MY MIND ABOUT EVERYTHING LEVI-WISE AND MY STORY AND SUCH.   
THANKS FOR YOUR PATIENCE IF YOU ARE STILL HERE XD

OH AND SORRY FOR ANY SPELLING MISTAKES, DIDN’T PROOF READ…   
***********************************

**HELLO AGAIN, so before you read this chapter**  
YOU MUST READ THIS.   
This is a short explanation as to what organisation Kale is a part of,   
and I suggest reading it if you don’t want to be entirely confused.  
  
The Hunters, an organisation thought to be founded in the underground. An organisation that began on the belief that we as humans were reborn when we died, and within this world, the belief that we were reborn as titans. An organisation that believed in the food chain, and that fighting it would be pointless, if we were to die, we would die. And those that fought to take more pointless breaths were nothing but naïve. This was the belief they claimed to live by, when in reality, it was nothing but an excuse. An excuse to be vultures, to kill humans, to have power, to _be on the side of the titans_ without ever truly understanding.   
They were killers, and those that joined their crusade were hungry for blood, but not the blood of titans. It made sense that a titan shifter was one of them, somewhat giving them validity.  
*******************************  
  
It was a phoenix, pure black but at the same time shining with glory, a legend, a symbol of returning from the ashes of destruction. But more importantly, a symbol that made people shiver in their skins.  
  
I didn’t get the chance to confront him on it, to see the smug look on his face wiped off and replaced with one of surprise as the door to the basement opened, and the short stature of an all too familiar raven haired man entered.   
  
“You get stupider by the minute,” he spoke, stepping down the stairs with strong force, “You shouldn’t be down here.”   
  
“Well I am, so can we skip the temper tantrum you’re going to have,” I replied, noticing the smirk on Kale’s face widen at my response.   
  
“She’s quite the feisty one you’ve got there,” a firm growl erupted from my throat at the titan shifters first words since Levi had entered, for someone who didn’t talk he seemed quite chatty now.   
  
Levi glared at him, before ignoring his comment and turning his attention back to me, “Did you at least get any useful information?”   
  
I looked at Kale, my glare piercing through him with enough power for him to burst into flames, “Oh, you have no idea.”   
  
Kale seemed humoured by this, “Now this just got interesting, I don’t recall telling you anything.”   
  
“You may not have said anything but don’t doubt my attention span, especially when you have the subtlety of a five year old,” I turned my attention back to Levi, and judging by the additional creases burdening his face he was nothing short of stressed and impatient, “He’s a hunter.”  
  
I heard Kale’s breathing falter, confirming the accusation for both me and Levi, the word _hunter_ brought back all to many memories from the past, and for a minute it looked as though Levi could see them too. He nodded, before uttering a firm _follow me_ and walking outside the door. I followed behind him, not forgetting to throw a glance at the titan shifter, who had an unreadable expression plastered on his face.   
  
When I got outside, I began to walk past Levi in the intention of me checking in on Erwin and the others, for some reason I felt an emotion that could be known as concern. I felt a hand on my arm, pulling me back until I was face to face with Levi, close enough to hear his steady heartbeat.   
  
“Don’t go near him without my knowledge,” he ordered his tone all too serious for my liking.   
  
“Why? I sure as hell can handle myself,” it was humorous how long it took for me to get angry at the stoic man, mere seconds, I was even more patient with that titan-shifter than I could ever be with him.   
  
“I don’t doubt your capabilities, but he’s dangerous and if what you’ve learned is true then he’s not alone,” he was angry, but out of annoyance or concern was a question to be considered.   
  
As much as I wanted to fight him, to try and get one ounce of emotion to flicker across his emotionless eyes I put the thought aside, _he’s your corporal now, remember, that’s all he is.  
_ “How is Erwin doing?” I uttered, struggling to hold back the argument at the tip of my tongue.   
  
“Hasn’t changed, no better nor worse, many comrades have passed already and Erwin won’t be with us anytime soon,” his brows furrowed deeper in a scowl, “That bastard, resting during a time like this. We need to get to the capital, before Eren does something reckless.”   
  
“ _We?_ ” the word was foreign to me at that moment, and it had no hesitation of slipping out of my mouth questioningly.  
  
“Have you managed to forget you’re a part of the Survey Corps? The cloak on your back must not be enough of a reminder,” he growled in response, a smirk made its way onto my face.   
  
“I’m just surprised, you never refer to me and you as an us, your asshole exterior doesn’t allow it,” for such a serious and fucked up predicament we were currently in, the air seemed calm, I knew it wouldn’t be long until that disappeared. He opened his mouth to speak before he was cut off by the all too familiar titan-lovers yell, and a relief I hadn’t felt in ages washed through me to know that she was perfectly fine.   
  
I was soon suffocated in a hug by none other than Hange, which to my surprise I had no trouble in reciprocating. She seemed to be the only Squad Leader not on the verge of death apart from Levi, as Mike lay in a close state as Erwin.   
_The titans have taken so much from us, that bitch Annie, even the naïve capital continues to make things worse as well as humans themselves. The commander that I’d come to respect laid on fabric that could end up being his deathbed, as well as the squad leader considered to be the best after Levi, who could detect titans like no one else through the unusual use of his nose. They had taken Eld, who haunted my dreams like the plague, they had taken Petra, who managed to have the sort of kindness that was disappearing in this world, they had taken Oluo, who despite his rather overbearing personality, was an strong soldier with a great amount of skill. They had taken Gunther, who had brought reason into these times of injustice. They had taken so many, and what have we achieved in the process?  
  
_ I let go of Hange, somewhat ignoring her worries and yells that she was glad I came back, letting the thoughts sink in further, letting rage consume me.  
It wasn’t a reckless rage, it was serious rage, the rage that said these two words over and over.   
_Get Even._  
  
“I’m not going to the capital, Levi,” I spoke harshly, demanding, “I’m going to kill that bitch.”   
I had already filled up my gas and readjusted my gear when I got back, so all was left was for me to climb over that wall like I had done so many times before, and finally finish her off. I felt a pull on my arm again as I started to walk away, expecting it to be Hange but faced with the same strong grip I had felt mere minutes before.   
  
He wasn’t glaring, didn’t look bored, his expression was purely blank as he stared at me, as if he was trying to figure me out. The silence didn’t last for long as I heard a loud thump erupt, shaking the ground we stood upon, the thumps continued, and the cause of it didn’t take long to appear before us. That flick of blonde hair told me all I needed to know, and all I could think was,   
_perfect timing._  


	19. Thinking of Kittens

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HALLO, I HOPE I AM MAKING UP FOR THE LAST MONTH I HAVE BEEN ABSENT XD  
> I DECIDED THAT THIS FANFICTION WAS TAKING WAY TO LONG FOR IT TOO MOVE FORWARD, SO IM HOPING THIS CHAPTER PUSHES IT IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION ^.^  
> PLEASE COMMENT WHAT YOU THINK OF IT AS I AM HAVING VERY MIXED FEELINGS OVER IT.  
> FANKS FOR READING ~~~

When I had said that the rage I was feeling wasn’t a reckless rage, I lied. 

I knew I was being stupid, but every rational thought was swept away when all I could picture in my mind was the dead bodies of humans scattered about like trash,   
because of _her.  
  
_ She must’ve thought this would be a good time to strike, our defences down due to that surprise attack. She was persistent, I’d give her that. Catching Eren seemed to be her main priority, and no doubt that Kale had been added to that list. The first things I should have noticed were the screams, but the only thing I could lay eyes on was the blonde hair in the distance.   
It was the only thing I ran for, too.   
Levi was right behind me, Hange next to him in a synchronised sort of calm.   
He muttered something to her as she went speeding off to the left, leaving it only the two of us.   
**_Humanity’s strongest_** and **_The Ripper_** just like old times.   
Only it wasn’t old times, for one, Isabel and Farlan weren’t here, which seemed to be the smallest of things that had changed in the chaos that were our lives.   
_If you could even call this living._

  
She was running towards where Hange had bounded off to, and it wasn’t long before I realised what her destination was, _Eren_.   
I wondered if Kale was on her pick up list, but didn’t think about it for long before setting myself to one goal.   
_Kill her._ Not capture her, not wound her, _Kill her._  
I didn’t dare look at Levi, as the murderous glint in my eyes would have told him everything he needed to know. The female titan shifter stopped in her tracks when we came into her sight, her long arms already grabbing for us, to no avail as she merely picked up the suffocating air we breathed in these walls. I attached one of my wires to a building behind her, successfully dodging her fist and slicing through the skin on her legs.   
I attacked every single part of her that I could, my only focus being on her and the craving to watch her fall. It went to the point where all I could see was red, and I knew my actions were going to get the best of me.   
  
I began caring less about my safety and my life, and more on vengeance, I _needed_ to see her die. I didn’t care when my body ached at the impact of landing on her filthy body so harshly, if it meant I could get another hit. She should have at least been on her knees by now, but the determination in her eyes made me question if whether the will of an objective made her invincible.   
Who am I kidding, nothing is invincible.   
If you had told me that one sudden movement would have been my mistake, I would have snickered in arrogance. But that was indeed, it’s amusing that even the strongest can fall by the smallest things.   
I ran against the top half of her arm, cutting it with enough ferocity to make me numb. She didn’t have much of her attention on me, most likely Levi’s doing, and I would have observed this hadn’t everything been so _red._ I was enjoying the pleasure of hitting at her with no interruption, when her head snapped back at the feeling of my feet near the nape of her neck. The small but sudden movement being enough for me to lose my footing and clash with the nearest rooftop. You’d think someone who was great at using the maneuver gear wouldn’t lose footing so easily, but apparently it was one of my faults that happened to appear at the worst times necessary.   
Sudden movements, I wondered how I even managed to ride a damn horse let alone the gear. 

*  
  
(A/N: This flashback is from a time when you were much younger)  
(The flashback is also in third person as you can see)

 _The use of the maneuver gear was revolutionary to you; there was no doubt that jobs would be ten times easier once you could use it properly, nobody knew about your identity as the ripper and you’d often do jobs with Levi and Farlan for the money. Farlan didn’t mind, as you were a good addition and Levi didn’t seem to care as long as you weren’t a nuisance. Being down here for so long with barely any outside air was taking its toll once again, and knowing that you were going to feel some height with this gear was exhilarating. Farlan thought no different than you, as he adjusted the straps on his own with a tint of excitement glowering in his eyes. Levi was cleaning his knife, waiting patiently, before you noticed his eyes flicker to yours._  
  
It didn’t take long for him to get the hang of it; in fact it was astounding how incredible he was at using it. Farlan had taken longer, but he was extremely skilled at it. As for you, you could barely stay upright for more than a second.  
It infuriated you, that out of anything you couldn’t master the one thing you really wanted.   
You excelled at everything, you weren’t weak, you couldn’t be by the way you were raised. But that didn’t change the fact that you seemed to suck at this, and you didn’t dare ask for help, as stubborn as you were. That didn’t stop you though, every part of the day and night you spent trying to stay upright on the damn thing, whether Levi or Farlan were there to accompany you didn’t bother you in the slightest.   
But just like everything, Levi seemed to understand what you were doing wrong.   
  
It was a particularly dark night when he found you gritting your teeth from frustration in a heap as you stared upside down at the floor, noticing how he looked more relaxed from upside down than he ever did normally. He pulled you upright, his eyes as cold as ever.   
“What are you doing?” he asked, the annoyance clear in his tone.   
  
“What does it look like Levi, I’m learning,” you growled, the irritation you were having with the gear combined with Levi was enough to turn it into a sort of frustration you couldn’t let loose.  
  
“You call that learning?” he somewhat snickered, before letting you go and leaving me to drop to the floor again in a clumsy heap, “You’re thinking about it too much.”  
  
“Of course I am, when I focus I think,” you said in a matter of fact tone, much to his annoyance.   
  
“You aren’t going to do it right if you think too hard, you need to relax and then focus,” he ordered, “Think of something relaxing.”  
“Would you like me to think about kittens?” you snarkily replied, smirking.   
  
He pulled you back up, piercing your eyes with his own before speaking, “Think about this,” he lifted his hand up to your neck, his fingers tracing loops against your skin delicately, “Don’t think about the gear, or that you’re above ground, focus on my touch against your skin.”   
  
His hand moved up to your cheek, his cold thumb tracing against it sending shivers against your fully clothed body, you searched his eyes for anything, some signal as to what he was thinking.   
You felt his other hand leave my hip while the other continued rubbing down your neck smoothly.   
  
“You’re doing it,” he commented, leaving you to look down and notice that he wasn’t holding you up anymore, and that you were drifting perfectly without the slightest wobble, “That’s what keeps you calm, just think of that.”   
His hand left my neck and you could still feel the sensation he left behind, he looked at you with another blank expression before walking off.  
  
The next day, you were flying through the air along with Farlan, the stuffy air of the underground much better with a little height added to it. Levi was observing you with a cold expression as Farlan showed you a few more ropes, telling you that you were getting better than him.   
Although you were still mad at yourself for Levi having that kind of control over you the night before and probably every time you would use the gear, the smile that stretched across your face was inevitable, leaving Farlan slightly stunned that the constantly angry twitch and sarcastic mouth was curved into a light expression.   
  
“How did you end up finally getting the hang of it?” Farlan questioned, unable to hide back his own smile once he saw your own.   
“I thought of kittens,” you retorted, knowing that Levi had heard you by the way he narrowed his eyes further.   
From then on, the gear seemed to have cooled your hot temper substantially.   
But like everything, that didn’t last for long.   
  
-End of flashback-

_*_

My back hit against the rooftop forcefully, sending pain shooting through my body with enough force to make me hazy.   
_No, I’m not losing._  
Especially to a downfall as pathetic as losing footing.   
I tried to push my body up, ignoring the warning signs my body was issuing me in violent waves. There was another thump that made the ground go wild, and judging by the fact that Annie had no intention of moving from me as her eyes set on me like a disgusting animal, it wasn’t her.   
And if including the tiny stature of Levi, it sure as hell wasn’t him.   
I felt a substance run down my arm, identifying it as blood streaking out of an open wound that was no doubt made from the poor excuse of a rickety roof that I had fallen on to.   
As I pushed myself onto my knees, observing Levi as he attacked Annie skilfully, and had successfully gotten her neck uncovered. I could have smiled; I would have, if I didn’t know that he wasn’t going to kill her. I noticed the steam emerging from the arm furthest away from him, before it began moving.   
I would have warned him, but it wasn’t going for him.   
It was going for me.   
  
Her fist collided with the rooftop I had almost stood up on with whatever strength I had left, shredding through the house and taking me with it. I felt the pressure of the wood planks collide with my open wound and winced in pain. The distraction of me was enough to get Levi the time he needed to push up and go for her neck, fully intendant on cutting her out.   
That was all before the idiot showed up in all his glory, hoping on making things better no doubt but doing the exact opposite.

The sparkle in her eye was challenging, but returned to fear as her fist came to a halt on the ground next to me, finally realising the beast coming for her.   
It was another titan shifter, and all it took was those cocky dark blue eyes for me to know it was him,   
it was _Kale_.    
Here to save the day, or much rather make havoc when things could have ended so plain and simple.   
Whoever said Hunters were smart and cunning must not have seen this one.   
  
I managed to push away some of the debris clouding me, not failing to hear the shrieks of what I hoped was Annie being eaten by the vulture that was Kale, I ripped the wooden plank currently digging into my forearm recklessly, noticing the gigantic mess of debris lying next to me in a daunting representation of what could have been seen as luck. I noticed my arm go numb as I tried to move, before my head took over reason of my body and forcing my eyes to close relentlessly.   
  
-Third Person POV-  
  
Kale had Annie pinned beneath her, ready to rip her throat out before another titan shifter joined the party. Eren came bounding through; roaring like the situation had just started.   
The stupidity of these mindless brats made Levi sigh in anger, and he knew that he needed to stop them both before they ate the girl inside. Despite how much he’d love to watch her die, he wasn’t going to let her off that easily.   
But his gaze couldn’t stray far from the girl that seemed to be slipping from the world as he knew it, someone who he didn’t think he would see like that for a long time. Before long, he was next to you, picking you up in his arms and handing you to a cadet, ordering him to get you back safely or else he’d be facing much worse than a titan. During his advances involving you, Kale had turned into a motionless titan lying on the ground, while Eren snarled at Annie, his spit making contact with her face. His fist collided down with Annie’s head, the impact making the noise of bones cracking. More cadets had begun approaching the scene, as Eren bit into Annie’s neck angrily, leaving her exposed.   
She wasn’t exposed for long, before a blinding bluish white light emerged from her body, combining Eren’s body with her own. Shouts were heard from all around, as Levi leapt off, reading the situation clearly.   
He slashed into Eren’s neck, removing him “Don’t eat a valuable witness, you idiot,” he growled.   
  
_Time skip brought to you by Armin’s shampoo.  
  
_ It was pointless, everything. Oh, the capital was going to have a field day with this.   
Annie was left encrusted in her protective shell, leaving more questions that could ever be answered behind. Kale had been cut out when he had been successfully identified as inactive by Hange and wouldn’t speak a word of what happened, no matter what _tactics_ Levi had used himself. Eren was quiet, an uncanny type of quiet. Hange was inspecting the blue crystal, looking for any slither of hope left in this dire situation. And the capital, they were holding off until Erwin woke, and if he didn’t, well that wasn’t an option.   
  
Levi, had given orders and maintained any type of order and stability that could be found, but currently, he was perched near a window in respectable silence as you lied motionless on an infirmary bed. He shouldn’t be there, if anything he should be checking on his commander, or dealing with the pricks at the capital. Not watching over the woman who caused him more trouble than anyone else did, not someone who distracted him, like you were ironically doing to him now.   
You didn’t need protection, you were strong and a fighter, and there was no way that you were going to let yourself die like this.   
You’re injury’s seemed like barely a scratch in the grand scheme of this world, but it seemed like so much more when everything else was burning away into dust.   
  
He needed you to wake up, to know that you weren’t just another life taken in vain, not another person he had once considered a friend only to be left dead. He needed the reassurance, despite the fact that he knew there was no way you weren’t going to wake up.   
This was the reason he needed to just be your corporal,   
and just like he did in protecting you, he failed.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***************  
> SO, WHAT DID YOU GUYS THINK OF THIS CHAPTER?  
> PLEASE LEAVE A COMMENT OF WHAT YOU’D LIKE TO SEE HAPPEN IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO SEE ANYTHING.   
> AND WHAT DO YOU THINK IS GOING TO HAPPEN? 
> 
> LITTLE HINT: SOME JUICY ISH WILL BE HAPPENING NEXT CHAPTER XD
> 
> Please vote and/or comment if you enjoyed reading, thank you!


	20. For Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY IF IT'S SHORT

**HELLO FELLOW HUMANS AND MERRY CHRISTMAS!**  
 **PROBABLY WONT HAVE ANY READS CAUSE EVERYONES PROBABLY BUSY**  
 **EH, ILL STILL WRITE ANYWAY XD**  
 **I DON’T KNOW WHAT I WROTE,**  
 ***realizes that the actual plot has not advanced in any way***  
 **xD Don’t judge me.**  
 **There’s quite a bit of swearing in this one, and Levi’s probably OOC.**  
 **I think I got a little carried away; my insomnia has been taking a toll on my thoughts and writing.**  
 **Haven’t even reread this or even skimmed over it, just wrote.**  
 **Nevertheless, thanks for reading and if you enjoyed than please comment or vote!**  


Saying you weren’t prepared for the thing you woke up to was an understatement.  
Sure, Levi being there wasn’t much of a surprise, but it was the expression he wore as he looked out the window, he looked somewhat _sad_.  
  
Something about seeing him this way made your stomach stir with unfamiliarity, it wasn’t natural, the air circulating in this room wasn’t natural either,  it wasn’t natural that your palms had inevitably gotten sweaty for no reason at all. Blaming everything that felt unnatural on the ache you felt throughout your head, you cleared your throat, letting Levi’s head shoot towards yours. His expression was so blank it made you wonder if what you had seen before was real.

“You’re awake,” he stated, making you roll your eyes and smirk.  
“Way to state the obvious,” you remarked, voice laced deeply with sarcasm.  
“I see the fall hasn’t changed your bratty ways,” he responded, but there was something about the way he was responding that wasn’t normal.  
“Stating the obvious once again, this isn’t like you Levi,” It came out more serious than you intended, and your head started throbbing to go along with it.  
He murmured something incoherent under his breath, “Everything’s gone to shit, (y/n). I don’t have energy nor time to  deal with you let alone come up with comebacks,” he had snarled it, but you knew what he’d said was true by the tiredness lacing his voice, which could somewhat explain why his asshole façade wasn’t in full swing.  
“Then why are you here, Levi?” you questioned, generally curious even through the blank stare he threw at you. He adjusted to the question as his eyes went cold and his eyebrows sunk deeper in a crease. You then noticed how close he really was to you, as during your small talk he had moved from the window to beside your bed and sat down, adding to the confusion that erupted from his actions and words.  
  
His hands were held together at his knees, firm enough that his knuckles were white from pressure and his hair looked as though it had grown darker, the light streaming from the window hit him from the back, and managed to compliment his every feature.  
Any normal woman would pounce at the current sight of him;  
fortunately you were no normal woman.  
  
“(y/n) I-,” he was interrupted by a loud knock at the door, he looked as though he was going to ignore it before the person on the other side spoke up.  
  
“Corporal Levi, are you in there?” the voice was spoken with urgency, but he didn’t seem to care as he looked back at me with an even angrier stare than placed on before.  
“No,” he responded harshly, leaving you to snort and mouth the word _obvious_ at him.  
Much to his obvious displeasure, the door creaked open as a rather scared cadet emerged, “Sorry to interrupt Corporal, but it involves Commander Erwin.”  
“Did the bastard wake up?” he growled, still looking right at you.  
“Yes,” this made you look straight at the cadet as a small smile tugged at the strains of your lips, while Levi continued to look at you before growling a _tch_ and getting up.  
You pushed the covers of the bed  off you, when your head began to throb even harder and pain shot through your arm, Levi turned his attention back to you, frustration building.  
  
“Don’t even think about getting up from that bed, (l/n).”  
“Challenge accepted,” you managed to choke out, as your feet collided with the ground while the rest of your body remained on the bed. Before you could attempt standing up, your feet were pushed back onto the bed and the sheet s were placed tightly around your figure. Levi hovered above you, his hand holding down the sheet with his face dangerously close to yours.  
  
“Don’t leave this bed,” he spoke, and you could feel his breath on your neck as you stared into the ice cold orbs that were his eyes.  
“I’m not exactly fond of taking orders,” you replied, hardly intimidated by the thin layer of air hovering between you both. The air was still and heavy, and judging by the tension the cadet was most likely shuffling awkwardly or growing impatient.  
“You’ll follow this one, or else.”  
“Is that a threat?” you questioned, smirking as he let go of the sheet and stood up, before walking to the door and uttering “It’s a promise.”  
He slammed the door behind him as he stormed out, leaving the room to feel empty.

After about ten minutes of utter silence, you lost your patience and somehow managed to stand. Sure, each step hurt like hell, but it was a hell of a lot better than being stuck in that stuffy room, especially when there was so much else going on.  
You remembered where Erwin was being held, luckily not far from yourself.  
When you finally reached it, you barged in unannounced, which probably wasn’t the best idea but you being you, you didn’t give a single shit.  
“The princess has awoken,” you fake cheered, pretending that the smile you wore when you saw Erwin sitting upright was fake, “The princess looks like shit but isn’t that always the case Princess Smith?”  
He had a tiny smile twitching at the ends of his lips, as you felt a burning sensation through your body that could only be Levi burning you with his stare. When you looked at him, the amount of anger he contained was something not many could have.  
“Nice to see you too, (y/n),” he rasped, his face tired and dark, it was a funny sight no doubt, as humour flickered through your (e/c) eyes.  
  
“It’s good that you’ve gotten some beauty sleep, although it hasn’t done much good to your appearance,” you smirked, “but now the capitals going to be up our asses, so would you mind going back to sleep?”  
He smirked back at you, curious, “You don’t look to good yourself, I’m afraid. And I won’t be getting beauty rest anytime soon.”  
  
“Enough with the crap,” his voice cut through our banter like an overly sharp katana through melting butter, “Get back to your room, _now.”_  
“I’m afraid that’s not an option, my dear corporal,” you responded, seating yourself on one of the chairs opposite him.  
“It’s the only option unless you want me to give you to shitty glasses for titan bait,” he threatened, but you were completely unfazed.  
“But then how would you survive without my witty remarks, even humanity’s strongest needs a laugh sometimes,” you put on a fake smile, fake kindness radiating from you.  
“Does it look like I’m amused?” he leaned back in his chair, hair falling down in front of his angry eyes.  
“Hard to tell with your utmost famous face of constipation, hardly any emotions seep through the shit that is your face,” you remarked, adding, “constipation pun was intended.”  
  
You heard a chuckle emerge from the blonde not far from you, “you both fight like a married couple,” he smirked, trying to hold back his laughter.  
“Tch,” Levi spat, not denying it.  
You turned back to look at him, “Really, that’s the best you can come up with? Spit?” you growled.  
“You can stay (y/n), we were just discussing the situation involving Kale,” Erwin spoke, before he heard anymore bickering.  
  
“Ah, what did the asshole do this time?” you asked, relaxing back in your chair despite the pain, purely to annoy Levi, and judging by his stare, it was working perfectly.  
“Levi was just about to tell,” Erwin stated, raising an arm towards Levi and playing along with my kindness.  
“Oh do tell, Levi,” you glowered, basking in the sunshine that was sarcasm.  
“Tch. There is a chance he is a hunter, as well as some strange tendencies he has when he shifts. It seems as though the brat cannot remain active in his titan form for long, as it went inactive after a small period of time during the attack,” you didn’t recall this, which led your curiosity further.  
  
“What a shame it is that a potential enemy isn’t as dangerous as we first thought, just when I thought things were getting interesting around here,” you shook your head in mock anger.  
Before you could look at the men around you, you were pulled up by your collar, pain shooting through your body immensely. You were held and taken outside the door, hearing it slam before you were pushed against a firm wall. Your body ached, as your expression turned into real anger at his sharp gray eyes showing no mercy to your injuries.  
  
“Do you not understand that this is a serious matter?” he questioned, his grip tightening.  
“Sometimes you’ve got to let a laugh loose even in the darkest times, I wanted to follow those words of wisdom as they seemed fitting,” you tried to say it unfazed and innocent, but you were entirely too angry.  
“Did you not hear me before, everything has gone to complete shit, and unless we fix it, this entire scouting legion might as well be titan food already. I refuse to sit idly in these disgusting walls hiding away, so get your head out of your fucking ass and stop treating it like a game,” he yelled, loud enough for Erwin and probably everyone in this building to hear. Noticing this, he opened the door next to Erwin’s, taking the situation away from accusing eyes and open ears.  
  
“Well, apologies if I’ve decided not to give a shit anymore.  I heard you perfectly fine, but I don’t think you understand that everything has always been shit and always will. Everybody’s dead, and those that aren’t are hardly even capable of killing a titan let alone having the balls to look at one. The only hope we had of winning this is Eren, and I hate to break it to you but the Capital is full of moronic idiots that are so biased towards him you’ll be lucky if he’s even allowed to take a step out of chains let alone the wall. The only person that seemed to know how to control it entirely is sitting in a bed looking as ruined as wall Maria and a hunter who is also mindfuckingly a titan shifter is running around like nobody’s business, so apologies if I refuse to take this seriously. Humanity is full of incapable retards, titans can breach the walls whenever they choose to, and they can kill whoever they choose to. So excuse me, I’m allowed to make fun of this fucked situation, I’m allowed to try and get it through your head that we are entirely fucked,” your eyes dilated and your chest grew heavy.  
  
“Didn’t think you were one to give up, (y/n),” he replied simply, his gaze unwavering and his hand strengthening even further on your collar.  
  
“Give me a reason not to, Levi,” you breathed, your nostrils flaring with anger.

“Your parents, your brother, Erwin, Mike, Hange, Petra, Gunther, Oluo, Eren, Eld,” you inhaled sharply at the last word as he continued, “For Isabel, for Farlan, for yourself, for the air outside, for freedom,” his voice had lowered exponentially, “For me.”  
 _For him._  
  
“For you?” you asked, the flames in your eyes picking up, but not from anger.  
  
“Don’t make me say it again brat,” he barked, the intensity in his eyes not fading in the slightest.  
“I don’t know if “for you” is a good enough reason,” you smirked, as his lips formed into a crisp line of annoyance, he looked as though he had taken it as a challenge. His hands let go of your collar, before tracing down your body to your hips.  
  
“Fine,” he hissed, “Then for this,” he rubbed his hands against your back, as his lips found their way to your neck, as he trailed his lips further down, enticing moans from your mouth, you wouldn’t let him have that satisfaction, but at the same time you weren’t going to let him win by pushing him away, he’d think you were uncomfortable, another satisfaction you refused to give.  
  
“And this,” he nibbled against your flesh, letting a tiny moan burn through your mouth, he had heard it judging by the smirk you felt against your now burning flesh, his lips made their way up again, before kissing your cheek, inching closer to your mouth with every second before one was placed at the end of your mouth.  
  
“And this,” before any thoughts could be processed, his lips collided with yours; bringing back the desire you had felt from what seemed like yesterday. His lips were in sync with yours, as you pushed against each other fiercely; your kisses filled with ferocity but at the same time an emotion you couldn’t quite pinpoint. His tongue ran against your lip teasingly, before you slid yours against him, refusing to be teased. Unaware of the moans you were both letting loose, unaware of the way you both touched each other so delicately when such a fierce kiss was currently occurring.  
When you pulled apart, you were breathing heavily and your eyes were brighter with life than ever.  
  
“Is that a good enough reason for you, arrogant brat?” he asked, despite the current state he was also in, hair dishevelled and slightly panting, although slightly panting for Levi was like running a marathon for normal humans.  
  
“What are you talking about Levi, I’m doing it for Eld,” you smirked at him, regaining whatever dignity you had left by using your favourite tool, sarcasm.  
Although sarcasm wasn’t entirely true, Eld was a big part of why you always continued to fight, but there was another reason that you refused to admit, even to yourself.  
 _If I don’t say it, and I don’t think it, it doesn’t exist._


	21. READ THIS PLS, WILL BE DELETING WHEN NEXT CHAPTER COMES OUT

**I WROTE THIS REALLY FAST A FEW HOURS AGO, AND I HAVE LIKE NO TIME TO DO ANYTHING RIGHT NOW SO IM JUST QUICKLY PUTTING IT UP HERE. I’M PRETTY BUSY RIGHT NOW BUT I THINK IT’S GONNA BE OVER SOON AND THEN I WILL HAVE FREEDOM.**  
So if I don’t reply or get back to you know that I will as soon as this busy period is over xD  
THIS IS JUST A LITTLE NOTE, BEFORE THE NEXT CHAPTER IS RELEASED, WHICH I HAVENT EVEN WRITTEN YET XD  
BUT I WANTED TO GET THIS OUT OF THE WAY BECAUSE IM STARTING FRESH AGAIN IN THE NEXT CHAPTER. This is about Eren and Kale, considering that they are both being held at the capital until Erwin is well enough to fight on the survey corps’ behalf with Levi. 

**Okay, so as I have told you previously I’m not following the manga or anime, due to the fact that it is repetitive and I’m not caught up on the manga myself, yeah I’m  disappointed in myself too xD**  
So, now that basically Annie’s arc is over due to her being crystalized, the plot is entirely open.   
Of course, there is still the decision about Eren and Kale, and I could continue on with a plot involving the titan shifters wanting to take Eren, or I could even go into Historia’s arc, but honestly I don’t have much interest in doing so  >.<

 **So, while I still come up with what I do next I’ve made temporary decisions over Eren and Kale, and once you read it and learn that Darius basically let them have a second chance to redeem themselves, you’ll probably be like;**  
 _That’s the stupidest thing I’ve heard, there would at least be repercussions._   
  
I agree, and there will be. But for those that have read the manga, and from what I’ve read myself *spoilers probably*  Darius absolutely hates the monarchy and those set in charge, and although he values his own life before humanity and that would lead you to believe that he would want the least dangerous thing possible and he does have the side of him that wants the best for humanity, I figured that if he was given enough evidence to believe that Kale is hardly as much danger as Eren due to the fact that he can’t stay long a titan before going inactive, and Eren caught a dangerous titan shifter than the odds would be in the survey corps’ favour, other than Darius’s reasoning just being to spite the government.   
So, I hope that this reasoning gives more of a likely side towards Eren and Kale’s situation. Because honestly, if this were the real situation in the anime Eren and Kale’s situation would be entirely different and probably wouldn’t come out in Erwin’s favour.   
BUT I WANT TO START SOMETHING NEW INVOLVING YOU AND LEVI SO DON’T JUDGE ME FOR MAKING IT SIMPLE FOR EREN AND KALE, THEY NEED A BREAK TOO XD

  



	22. Choices PART 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can only write on my tablet, so yeah, grammatical errors be occurring.  
> And it might be all spaced out, apologies.
> 
> Oh and yeah, I haven't read or watched aot in god knows how long, DONT FEAR, REWATCHING TIME.
> 
>  
> 
> OH AND REMEMBER TO READ THE LAST NOTE, ITS IMPORTANT
> 
>  
> 
> I RECOMMEND READING THIS ON MY WATTPAD, SO YOU DONT HAVE TO DEAL WITH THE SPACES
> 
>  
> 
> ×××××××××××××

 

I RECOMMEND READING THIS ON MY WATTPAD, SO YOU DONT HAVE TO DEAL WITH THE SPACES  
   
×××××××××××××

 

If you had to wait one more minute for that stupid bastard to return you were going to explode.

 

Wait, clarification is needed.

 

If you had to wait for the several bastards to return for any longer you were going to explode.

 

You found it deathly annoying that despite Erwins condition, much worse than yours, there was no trouble with him going to the capital.

 

Yeah yeah, he's the commander, yeah yeah.

 

Whereas you, you were stuck in this stupid infirmary bed, your injuries practically completely healed waiting to know what the capitals decision was.

Why was this exactly? The answer was simple.

Levi.

 

He wouldn't let you move an inch beyond this stuffy claustrophobic room, despite the fact that the trial determining what was to be of Eren and Kale was currently taking place.

 

But what was to stop you from just going yourself?

The three cadets standing outside the door for one.

The fact that Levi had ordered every goddamn soul in the Survey Corps to not let you leave for two.

His reasoning being, you are too injured, and are not realiable enough for him to believe that you wouldn't raise your opinion in the court.

 

Hmph, liar.

 

He cared, and you were sick and tired of denying anything anymore. This was a world where titans existed, a world where humanity was crumbling into ashes before your very eyes. 

 

What was the point in lying or denying such pointless things?

 

You weren't supposed to be able to feel love, not when death haunts you from every corner, not when people you let yourself feel for would die anyway.

 

But you hadn't succeded in this, as much as you tried.

You cared for people, as much as you pretended not to.

And what happened, they died. 

They died thinking you didn't care, they died with unfinished buisness, they died without saying things they wished they had. 

If you could say something, anything to people you've lost what would you say? 

 

If Eld was still here, you'd thank him, for making you realise you could still cry, that your humanity was still there. 

You had always believed that living without feelings, being heartless and cold, killing to ease your anger was the only way to survive.

And in a way, it was. 

 

There was no changing that, but at the same time there was no denying that some people would always be there with you, dead or alive, wanted or not. 

 

Erwin had possibly the hardest job in this world, he was the command that ended in the deaths of many, he was serious, strong and his only thoughts were ever on what was best for humanity.

 

Levi was cold, harsh and emotionless to the very eye, he didn't like lives being wasted, he didn't believe in regrets, he respected his commander, and even though he'd never show it, he respected those that joined the Survey Corps. 

 

Hange was crazy and full of life, her devotion to finding hope for her humanity through titans was something not found in many. She was emotional, caring and rather insightful.

 

Each of these people, you respected. 

 

Through seeing the world in the ways of the Survey Corps you began to understand why Levi had never come back, you hated him for leaving, hated him for treating you like dirt. But with personal issues and feelings aside, there was respect there. 

 

Maybe even more than respect.

 

The things you merely deemed as letting out anger with him meant more than you'd care to admit. 

The way he got on your nerves more than anyone, the fact that you and him had been through a whole load of crap together, underground or not, the feeling that stirred in the pit of your stomach when he was fighting titans. 

 

You tried so hard to find reasons to hate him, even though you understood why he did the things he did. 

 

You needed to hate him, who knows what would happen if you didn't. 

 

In a way, it seemed like he wanted you to hate him. 

He was cold to everyone, an iceberg that wouldn't melt to anyone's flame. But to you, he was a blizzard, an attempt to keep you at bay. 

 

You didn't know what you were doing, all you knew was that you were a member of the Scouting Legion, a fighter, someone who used their rage as their main tool, someone who didn't trust unless given a reason to, someone strong.

 

And that was the way you were going to stay.

 

It was now that you threw away the bullshit in your mind, you weren't the ripper anymore. 

 

You were (f/n) (l/n), soldier. 

 

You may be alive, but from what I’ve seen, you aren’t truly living. You aren’t alone anymore, so stop trying to be. 

 

If I don’t make it back, then I hope it gives you more of a reason to value what I’ve said. 

 

It was time to finally value it.

 

 

Time skip brought to you by the moment of clarity you just had xD.

 

You had been summoned to Erwins office as soon as they had gotten back, and the tension in the air was thick enough to provide warmth. You didn't knock, like always, barging in to see Erwin in all his glory, Levi leaning against the wall like he always seemed to. 

 

'Sit,' Erwin commanded, you scowled at him, you weren't a dog after all. 

You did as you were commanded anyway, sitting down and leaning back. 

The silence hung in the air for a few moments, before you cleared your throat, 'And?' you questioned, noticing Erwins eyes flicker with light.

 

'We've been given another chance,' he spoke firmly, despite his hard tone he looked significantly relaxed.

'How?' You asked, letting out a breath you hadn't remembered keeping in.

'They don't believe Kale is much of a threat, the way we portrayed him, or to be more precise, the way Levi portrayed him,' his gaze flickered to Levi for a moment, who hadn't even glanced in our direction, 'Eren, he swore an oath to the good of humanity, and it came to the conclusion that people are after him, and he is better off in our hands as we have the soldiers to protect him, more or less because they don't want the Military Police wiped out. Our main objectives involve, Annie and discovering what she wanted with Eren, Kale and his involvement with the hunters.' 

 

It was hard to believe that they had gotten out of it so easily, 

You had the feeling had you have been there you would of understood why.

But that bastard wouldn't let you have the satisfaction.

 

'What's my part in all this, commander?' it must have been the first time you said commander without sarcasm, as Erwin looked slightly surprised and Levi glanced towards both of you. 

 

'Its you're choice, whether you want to take part in the investigation of Annie or Kale is completely up to you, I'll give you some time to think it over,' he grounded out, and you wondered as to why you even had a choice. 

 

'Why am I getting this choice exactly?' 

 

His eyes flickered in the light, 'You've always complained over not having choices, so I'm giving you them.'

 

You simply nodded in response, feeling a sense of respect burn through yourself again. When you stood, your eyes locked with Levi's, bringing back all of your previous thoughts. You stared straight through him, strong. 

 

'Could I visit Eren and Kale? Assuming they are both in the basement,' you requested, aiming it at both of them. 

You, asking for permission. 

Even the gods couldn't see this one coming.

 

Erwin nodded, while Levi stood up straight, 'I'm accompanying you.'

Of course he was.

 

When you both walked out, the tension you had felt before had somehow gotten thicker. He didn't speak, not one word while you both walked. You kept a respectable distance from him, forcing yourself to keep your gaze ahead.

 

For me.

Those two words had been circling the outside of you're thoughts as soon as he spoke them, before they became the only thought you could contain. He looked to be deep in thought, you noticed when you glanced over at him, his eyes were stone cold and his movements looked slightly robotic. 

 

You reached thew basement, letting it creak as Levi stepped in behind you. Erens dull green eyes lit up at the company, while Kale smirked. 

 

'(Y/N), you're okay!' He was lying on the bed, tied up in the exact same configeration as Kale. You leaned back on the wall, evenly between Eren and Kale while Levi just looked bored, standing at the bottom of the steps, 'Corporal Levi,' Eren saluted. 

Levi made no motion to acknowledge him, closing his eyes and leaning back on the wall beside the steps. 

 

'Well if it isn't the ripper in all her glory,' Kale spoke up, his smirk widening. 

 

'Ripper?' Eren questioned, confused. 

 

'Don't tell me you don't know?' He took erens confusion as a sign to continue, 'Ah, the travesty! Hiding things from poor little Eren.'

 

You scowled over to him, Eren had known you had come from the underground, he had never asked who you were. 

 

'See, Eren. Your dear (y/n) right there, was one of the most ruthless murderers in the underground,' he stated, a grin shining on his smug face, 'Don't feel so safe now, do you?'

 

Eren's eyes widened, before looking back at you and shaking his head at himself, 'She's not a murderer,' he muttered, raising his head, 'She might have been before but she's not one now.'

 

You looked at him, his eyes filled with pain and anger, he was yet another person you respected. 

He was Eren, and he was a beacon of hope for humanity. 

Without even the slightest hesitation, you smiled at him. 

It wasn't a smirk, a cold smile or anything that screamed anger, it was a pure genuine smile. You could feel Levi's gaze on your lips, before they opened to speak. 

 

'You're naive Eren,' you told him, 'But thank you.'

 

He grinned foolishly, before Kale decided to raise his opinion, 'I vote she's a murderer,' he said raising his hand, 'Eren's vote doesn't count because he's like five, what about you shorty?'

 

Levi's eyes narrowed into slits, without looking at him, he spat out, 'You are filthy trash, you don't address to me by any other name than Corporal, and you don't even think about referring to cadet (l/n) as anything other than something to be respected.' 

 

The way he spoke, his voice was laced with venom and he sounded somewhat animalistic. 

 

'I don't answer to you, hense that entire speech was entirely false,' Kale grounded out. 

You raised your hand, 'I vote that you are filthy trash,' you added, Eren following suit with his hand slightly up in the air. 

 

He smirked, 'Takes trash to know trash.'

'Eren, how are you feeling?' You asked him, ignoring Kales comment. He smiled, green eyes glimmering. 

'I'm fine, (y/n),' he answered, leaving you to nod. 

 

'What, no concern for me?' Kale questioned, his head tipping sideways.

'Shut up, hunter,' you spat back, glaring.

 

'You know, I realised something the other day when I remembered your last name, (l/n). It sounded familiar,' he stated, 'I matched it to a face, but unless you were a male, it wasn't you. He sure looked like you, (e/c) eyes, (h/c) hair, the same nose.'

 

You stiffined slightly, he was speaking of your brother. 

'It surprising how you say hunter with such disgust, when you're own brother was one of them.' 

You looked up at him, eyes ablaze with fire, 'Hunter,' you spat again, not even close to flinching, 'I say it with disgust, because it disgusts me.'

He fell in love with a hunter, he became a hunter, and what did he end up as, dead.

 

His eyes went cold and his mouth formed into a tight line, 'You aren't any better, ripper.'

'I didn't claim to be.'

You both glared at each other, challenging each other. 

'If the way you speak of him is true, he's disgusting, you're disgusting, guess the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree,' he commented, the line of his lips curving upwards. 

'Don't speak that way about either of them,' A voice arose, 'Or I might just lose my restraint.' 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ******
> 
> MHM I KNOW THERES LIKE NO LEVI
> 
> IM SORRY OHK
> 
> SHITS GONNA GO DOWN NEXT CHAPTER
> 
>  
> 
> WHO DO YA THINK SAID THE LAST LINE? ILL GIVE YA ONE GUESS.,
> 
>  
> 
> OH AND, I NEED YOUR OPINION
> 
> YOU KNOW HOW ERWIN GAVE YOU AN OPTION BETWEEN LEARNING ABOUT ANNIE OR KALE? YES WELL YOU GET TO CHOOSE, COMMENT WHICH ONE YOU WANT AND ILL SEE BASED ON WHAT PEOPLE CHOSE.
> 
>  
> 
> KEEP IN MIND THAT IF YOU CHOSE ANNIE, IT WILL NOT BE THE SAME AS THE MANGA, AT LEAST I DONT THINK. IT MIGHT BE THE SAME REASON, IN REFERAL TO WHY THE TITANS WANT EREN, BUT THE EVENTS AND ALL THAT WONT BE THE SAME.
> 
>  
> 
> Sorry if its short btw.


	23. Chapter Ninteen: Lying

WELL, I DON’T LIKE IT, BUT OKAY.  
ITS FINALLY UP MY PEOPLE ^.^  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

'Don't talk that way about either of them, or I might just lose my restraint,' Levi's voice bounced off the walls, echoing.  
  


Kale snorted, 'Midget, you can't lay a finger on me.'  
  


'Would you like to test that theory?' He shot back, standing up straight.  
  


Kale pointed to the bars, a smug grin plastered across his face, before speaking and spelling out each word as though he was talking to a toddler, 'You see these big clumps of metal, they are called bars, do you know what their purpose is? To keep me locked in here, and keep grumpy old midgets like you out.'  
  


In a swift motion, Levi had pulled out a key and walked over to the lock confining Kale, he waved it in front of the bars before saying, 'See this, it’s a key, and it takes me seconds to use it, hence making it entirely too easy to get inside.'  
  


Why the fuck does he have a key?  
  


Kales expression whitened, and he almost looked afraid before his lips twitched upwards and humour crossed his eyes.  
  


'Why do you care what I say about her anyway?' He asked in curiosity, his eyes flicking to yours which were filled with so much fire they looked as though a lava pit was flowing within them, or more like the depths of hell.

Your lip twitched, and Eren looked towards you and gave you a reassuring smile. Levi let out a tch.

You crossed your arms across your chest, interested to hear Levi's response.  
  


He didn't get a chance to before Kale spoke again, 'Ah,' he said, leaning his head back and laughing slightly, 'I should have seen it before, I misread the heaviness of the air in the room, it’s obvious now that it was sexual tension.'

Levi still hasn't said anything, you couldn't see his expression, could only notice the tension of his muscles.  
  


You, yourself were seriously debating stealing that key and bashing the shit out of him.

He looked towards you, 'You know, I didn't think you'd be interested in him. I mean, the hate you stare at him with is strong enough that it makes me hate him too.'  
  


He shook his head right after, 'Actually, I've always hated midgets, that explains it. I just hate the way they run you know, like all small and midgety.'  
  


'Goddamn, Erens taller than you and he's five,' he snorted, before the gate was opened and his smug face was smeared with blood.  
  


It all happened so fast you weren't even sure you had seen it properly.

It was only one punch, but you could see the stillness of his muscles containing the desire to inflict so much more pain. He still hadn't spoke, and his gaze was so emotionless it made you question if he even had a heart beating in there.  
  


Kale looked surprised, his nose crinkling from the pain, 'Hitting a restrained man, should have known you'd be so unjustified.'  
  


A second punch was thrown, 'There is no justice in this world,' he stated, tone as icy as a glacier.

Goodbyes mean nothing in this world.  
  


You got up before Kale could speak again and earn another punch, interrupting at the worst time, 'Whose side are you on?' you questioned him, taking him by surprise.

 

'What ever do you mean, my dearest ripper?'

Levi looked bored and sick at the sight of him, before the door to the basement opened, and a slightly sweating cadet emerged.

 

'Corporal Levi, Commander Erwin has requested to see you,' he didn't say anything in response, walking out of the chamber, throwing the lock on and walking up the steps without a word to us or the seemingly frightened cadet.

 

Right as he was about to walk out, Kale yelled enthusiastically, 'Good boy! Maybe he'll give you a bone.'

He didn't respond, only turning back to look at you, warning you not to do anything stupid with his eyes. You rolled your own, turning back to Kale and smirking. Kales wounds had healed slightly since Levi had hit him, but the blood was still there as a reminder.

'Ill ask again, whose side are you on?' He seemed to have relaxed significantly since Levi had left the room, and Eren just looked angry, his eyes wide.

 

'Are you really that dumb minded?' He questioned, laughter brimming in his tone, 'If I were to be against humanity, why would I even be here?'

 

You weren't buying any of it, suspicion clawing throughout you, 'You aren't exactly the most reliable titan shifter from what I've heard,' you told him, referring to the curiosity of him going inactive.

 

He shrugged, 'Doesn't mean I can't shift.'

'I'm curious as to this, do you have any memory as to why you go inactive, or how?' You questioned, ignoring his glare.

He sighed, then smirked, 'How about this, I'll make a deal with you. I'll answer any question I can honestly, if you answer mine.'

 

'How can I be sure you'll be honest, hunter?'

'You'll just have to trust me, ripper.'

 

You had your concerns, suddenly hating the fact that Eren was here as well.

How could they be so stupid as to put them both in the same room?

The fact that they were in separate cells wasn't much of a consolation.

 

'I don't trust you, but fine,' you agreed, as Kales eyes lit up with new light, 'Now answer the question.'

'I don't remember anything when I'm cut out,' he answered vaguely, 'So I have no clue as to why I turn "inactive" or so you call it.'

 

'What's your relationship with the short-ass?'

 

You found yourself glaring up at him, your temper burning away faster than normal, 'He's corporal, any other relationship you are imagining is non-existent.'

He didn't believe it, 'I am somehow finding that very hard to believe. Interesting fact you might like to know, after the trial, being dragged away, a member of the military was speaking oh not so kindly of the ripper that had joined the scouting legion.'

 

'Now, do forgive me if I'm wrong, but I believe that if he is nothing other than your corporal, he shouldn't have reacted the way he did,' he glowered, feigning innocence, 'Not many people noticed it, but I could see the anger brimming, in fact, if little Eren here hadn't made a move to hit him, the shorty wouldn't have had the distraction of getting little Eren to shut up, and I'm sure the man would have been rendered unconscious.'

 

'By the way,' he added, turning to Eren, 'Are you defensive of her because you care for her or are you really a five year old?'

 

'I care for her,' he shot back at him, fists curling.

 

'Ah, you're still five though.'

 

He looked back at you, 'So would you care to tell me what he really is to you, or will you continue to lie.'

 

'He's my corporal, nothing more, nothing less,' it wasn't exactly a lie.

' I didn't think corporals fucked their cadets.'

'Lying it is then,' he uttered, 'Say, Eren? Do you have a girlfriend?'

He looked angry, but it would take an idiot not to notice the blush staining his cheeks, 'No.'

'Really, I saw a raven haired girl at the trial that looked as though she wanted to rip your clothes off then and there,' he stated bluntly.

'M-Mikasa? She's my sibling,' he rushed out, really shouldn't be giving that kind of information to him.

 

'Shame,' he spoke back, 'She sure as hell wasn't looking at you like a sibling I'm afraid. She must be adopted yes? Otherwise you have a problem on your hands.'

He nodded, his face to red to say anything, you put him out of his misery by asking Kale another question, 'Are you currently a member of the hunters?'

 

'That was extremely rude, here I was, having a nice conversation with Eren, that surprisingly wasn't about crayons and colouring, yet you interrupt me so rudely,' he commented, casually, 'I'll humour you and answer it. Technically I am, but I like to think I'm not.'

 

'Elaborate,' you told him.

'Ah, not so fast, I get to ask one, you sly fox,' he responded, winking, 'Do you find me sexually attractive?'

He wiggled his eyebrows, and Eren coughed awkwardly.

'You look as though you fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down,' You shot at him and Eren snickered.

'Sassy, I like it.’ he smirked, winking again.

'Answer my question,' you commanded him, not in the mood for his annoying humour.

'You’re lucky im such a kind man, otherwise I wouldn’t answer your own questions with honesty when all you do is lie to mine,’ he commented, ‘I’m not a killer, so I left. When I shifted during the attack with the female titan I couldn’t control it, all I remember is pain, then I was shifting.’

'Had you shifted before then?’ You asked, surprised by his cooperation.

‘Yes, because I totally fucking shift all the time without anyone fucking knowing,’ he snapped, ‘I mean, I just usually walk around the underground with my titan fist shoved up my ass and no one questions a thing. And to think I thought you weren’t stupid.’

 

You narrowed your eyes and glared at him, ‘You only found out that you were a titan shifter the day of the attack? I find that hard to believe.’

 

He grinned, ‘You’ll just have to take my word for it.’

 

‘No, I don’t,’ you replied, smirking before you left him in silence.

 

====================================================

  
  


‘I’d like to investigate Kale,’ you announced to Erwin, watching his freakishly thick eyebrows raise slightly.

‘Why’s that?’ Erwin asked, Levi standing next to him with a blank look covering his face.

 

‘I want to know the truth behind it all, the hunters, the organisation, but more than anything I want to know who he is. I want to see that smug look on his face wiped off with the truth,’ you told him, watching him nod as your mouth twitched upwards, ‘I also believe I might recognize him. I don’t know where, when or how, but something about him, some feature, reminds me of something I can't put my finger on.’

 

‘From the underground?’ Erwin questioned.

 

‘Perhaps,’ you said, continuing, ‘What is going to be happening with him and Eren?’

 

‘We’ve assigned a team to both sections, since we can't go on an expedition this short handed and so soon, for now its all about gathering information. Since you’ll be working on Kale, you will most likely need to go to the underground again.’

 

‘I figured,’ you approved, turning your gaze to Levy, ‘What sector is the corporal working on?’

 

‘Annie, I believe,’ Erwin stated, at least I wont be in the underground with him again.

 

‘Actually, I’m investigating Kale,’ he claimed, ‘Hange wants to work on Annie.’

 

Erwin looked slightly annoyed at this, eyebrows crinkling, ‘Whatever you think suits you, Levi.’

If I didn’t know any better I’d think that Erwin was Levi’s bitch and not the other way around.

 

‘I’m gathering that you’ll be in charge then?’ you asked Levi, breathing becoming faster.

 

‘You gathered correct, Brat,’ he concluded, his face serious apart from the slight strain on the end of his lips.

 

‘I’ll wait for your command then,’ you told him, allowing yourself to asses your current attitude, to wonder why you were acting so much like any other cadet, so obedient.

 

If either of them seemed surprised by this attitude they didn’t show it, holding the impenetrable serious gazes they always seemed to wear.

 

‘If that is all then you are dismissed, (y/n),’ Erwin stated, as you nodded and walked towards the door, not exactly annoyed to be escaping the already thick tension in the room.

 

As soon as the door slammed behind you, you headed outside, sitting against one of the walls, glaring at nothing in particular while the back of your head throbbed.

Throbbing due to all the anger and confusion spreading throughout it and not being released.

 

You hardly ever took the time to think extremely deeply, never one to take a while to do something and consider the consequences.

You were reckless, caught in the moment, as much as you denied it towards Erwin. You were always driven by anger, resentment towards the world, the hate in the world eating you apart until you were barely even there anymore. When in reality it seemed the anger was just misread sadness, just hot headed burning sadness that never faded.

 

But where had that gotten you?

You were a killer, angry and hateful.

You could even be compared to the things tearing your world apart,

Titans.

What gave them the right to make you like this? To make you so broken?

There were things swarming throughout your head that you hadn’t dealt with in years.

Your brother’s death, Farlan and Isabel, The things you had seen throughout the years, and something still current, that was Levi in himself.   
  
  
All you ever seemed to do was lie, unless it involved the good of humanity or Erwin you found that lies were the better option, it had gotten far enough that you were lying to yourself.   
It was a world full of deception, false hope and false friendship.   
You had always believed, ever since the capture of the three people you had trusted,   
that you were alone.   
  
You aren’t alone anymore, so stop trying to be.   
  
How dare Eld say that when he left you alone anyway? When they all left you eventually because they were too weak to survive.   
It’s not weakness, it’s timing and decisions.   
If only they had made the right decisions in the right times.   
But they didn't, and were not here to promise you they were there.   
There was only a few people there,   
Eren, Erwin, Hange, Mike, even Kale in some way.   
Levi.   
  
They respected you, when you didn’t even deserve it.   
You really weren’t alone, even if they weren’t alive, they were still there.   
Still there in the memory of what can be, what will be humanity’s victory.   
And for that you should die happy, die happy with knowing that even killing one titan helped in even the smallest measure, die happy not holding back in the world.

  
You were too afraid, too scared to face your own thoughts, and that made you pathetic.   
What were you afraid to admit?   
You knew you were a killer.

That should be that.   
But what you feared was that you were more, that if you admitted to yourself that you were able to feel more, to feel things that meant doom in this world then you would have to face it.   
You should be able to face it, able to face the fact that your face drops too quickly for comfort when he encounters danger like so many have before, that you still remember every detail of him and every memory from the underground when it’d be best to just forget, that in the back of your mind you’d just want to feel any sort of passion with him, to feel the satisfaction that he could want the same.   
  


At possibly the worst timing, when your mind was drowning and there was the most unmistakable of water gathering in your eyes, that formed into tiny drops that soon slid down your cheek, did he hear your erratic breathing, bringing his intimidating stature to sit down next to you, the clean freak he was seeming to ignore the dirt that was to mess with his clothing.   
  
As though this was a moment for humans to do things out of the ordinary, you falling apart in sobs, and him lifting his rough fingers that had on more than one occasion groped your hips with such intensity bruises were formed to your chin and lifting your face up to wipe the fountains flowing from your eyes.   
  
‘Thank you,’ you whispered, hating the vulnerability seeping through your voice, but letting the inevitable happen, which was finally gasping for air in this world so that you didn't just become a silhouette, so that you didn’t fade away.   
  
‘Tch,’ he muttered, and a small flare of anger pulsed on the other side of your head, before the raven haired man draped his arm around your shivering figure, embracing you when you were at your most vulnerable.   
  
You were both lost in your own thoughts, nothing but silence and your breathing folding together while Levi unknowingly brushed his hands through the tips of your hair.   
And for once, your mind cleared, falling into a tired sleep that you never seemed to have achieved, with only one thought gracing your mind.   
  
You weren’t alone, you have that short grumpy clean freak.   
  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

AND YOU HAVE REACHED YOUR BREAKING POINT, IN WHICH YOU FINALLY BREAK DOWN THE WALL YOU’VE CLOSED OFF FROM YOURSELF

THIS IS AN IMPORTANT MOMENT PPL  
NAHHHTTT SUREEE IF I JUST WROTE FLUFFF 0O0O0O0O0O0O0OO0O0O  
WHATTTT ISS THISSSSSSS   
I DUN EVEN KNOW  
LEAVE YOUR THOUGHTS IN THE COMMENTS TO TELL ME IF YOU LIKED IT   
AND HOW YOU THINK THINGS WILL MOVE ON FROM HERE.   
  
BTW: THE VOTES WENT LIKE THIS, AS TO WHY I CHOSE KALE FOR YA  
  
KALE- 16

ANNIE- 2  
(This includes Wattpad votes too ^.^)


	24. Chapter Twenty: Red Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before you read, I want you to know that since I’ve gone astray from the manga and set up my own plot to follow along with, there will most likely be plot holes.   
> Considering that Kale is a titan shifter, and the only way to become one is by ways that would make no sense with him, that’s a definite plot hole. All I can say is, go with it xD  
> We aren’t writing with the Historia plot currently anyway so hopefully it won’t bother many people, and if it does, well you shut up then xD.  
> _____________________________________________________________

  
‘You’re a bloody genius,’ you commented sarcastically, ‘that’s a great plan, really, bravo Hange, astounding thinking.’   
  
When the crazy woman grinned, you added slowly, ‘Are you stupid?’   
She shook her head, but still maintained that freakish grin that could give titans nightmares.   
  
‘Hange, there is no way in hell we are taking Kale to the underground,’ you denied, mentally forcing yourself to refrain from hitting her across the head.   
  
‘You aren’t the one calling the shots,’ Levi stated, sitting on the seat opposite both of you with one of his legs resting on the other, feeling his intoxicating smell even from metres away.   
  
‘You aren’t even investigating Kale, Hange,’ you questioned her, watching her grin turn into a frown.    
  
‘I wanted to, and was going to before shorty decided that was his area,’ she informed, glaring at Levi, ‘I had already devised a plan, which includes taking Kale to the underground with you.’   
  
‘Why the fuck would we take a titan shifter into the damn underground?!’ you nearly shouted, hearing that little voice in your head telling you to be reasonable, ‘Especially when said titan shifter could easily set up a trap  for us to prance on into.’   
  
‘Or, said titan shifter could become a valuable asset and we could learn of the Hunters, and what they are planning by using his knowledge to lead you to them to observe,’ Hange told you calmly, before jumping up and down energetically.   
  
‘Or he could be entirely on the opposite side and transform,’ you cursed, ‘He says he left them because he wasn’t a killer, then he transforms magically, absolutely nothing suspicious about that.’  
  
‘He transforms, I kill him,’ Levi said simply, the ends of his lips strained.   
  
‘You can’t honestly tell me you agree with Hange?!’ you yelled, ‘that you think we should take that stupid bastard there?!’  
  
‘I neither agree nor disagree,’ he replied smoothly, his hand resting on his leg as he held the bored expression you didn’t miss seeing at all, ‘You, have no say on the matter. Being in the scouting legion means you follow any command despite your own opinion, apparently you still haven’t learnt that.’   
  
‘you bi-polar pretentious assho-‘you were cut off by Hange shoving her hand over your mouth.   
  
‘It’s up to Erwin, (f/n),’ she tells you, still bouncing excitedly, ‘And he says yes as he believes in shorty’s ability to kill him and put him in place, much like Eren.’   
  
‘So it’s corporal clean freak’s choice basically,’ you growled, shoving her hand off your mouth, ‘Why the fuck am I not surprised?’   


‘Exactly, it’s my choice, I am the head off this operation and you will do as I say, or you can go clean horse shit and I can easily replace you with someone more obedient,’ Levi barked, patience fading as he stood up, his muscular body tensing through his white shirt, ‘We’re leaving in exactly five hours, we have the all-clear from Erwin and I expect you to come to my office on time with a clear and obedient mindset.’   
  
You snorted, watching him leave the room and sighing when he closed the door behind him.   
  
‘Do you not want Kale to go because, you want alone time with shorty?’ Hange asked, wiggling her eye brows in the similar way Kale did, ‘Because I can arrange that if that’s the case.’   
  
You rolled your eyes, ‘On second thought, I’ll be fine with Kale; he beats dealing with you anyway.’   
  
Hange grinned, ‘Aw (f/n), we know that’s not true,’ she announced, before jumping on you in a hug, and for once you let her.   
  


_Time skip brought to you by a game of Marco Polo._  
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA  
Not funny? I’ll just leave now.   
  
  
There was no doubt you were changing, the moment right now proved that.   
The normal you wouldn’t be standing outside corporal shorty’s door about to do what you were going to do.   
You knocked, feeling different as your knuckles came into contact with the hard wood.   
  
‘Who is it,’ the familiar voice snapped.   
‘It’s a fucking titan,’ you snapped back in response.   
  
‘That didn’t sound obedient,’ he growled, not one signs of amusement in his hard features.  
  
‘I knocked, didn’t I?’ you informed him, smirking as his eyebrows crinkled together in annoyance and he looked as though he’d rather be a titan’s dinner at that very moment.   
  
‘Follow,’ he commanded, grabbing a small bag and closing the door, the air from his window travelling to him before it closed, smelling like pine.   
  
You didn’t disobey, staying a good enough distance behind him as he walked across the dirt to get to what you assumed to be Kale. Despite what Levi asked of you, your mind was anything but clear, and once again, you blamed him, blamed him for giving you these feelings and blaming yourself for not denying them longer.   
  
‘I’m so excited,’ kale squealed sarcastically, ‘Take me back to wear a whole organisation is out for my blood, good call.’   


Levi had unlocked the cage, keeping him chained behind his back as he looked anything but exited, you raised your hand, slapping him across the back of his head in an attempt to shut him up.   
  
‘Get your freakish midget hands off me,’ he growled, ‘Believe it or not, I can walk for myself, it’s something I mastered a while back.’   
  
Levi kicked his back, watching as Kale fell to the ground face first not in any way gracefully, ‘Get up,’ he commanded, the same ice he held for titans freezing Kale to the ground.   
  
‘Aye, ripper, mind helping me up?’ Kale asked you, smiling and seeming completely unaffected by what just occurred.   
  
You reached your arm out with an impassive expression on your face, doing a kind act that you knew would make him respect you more, and if you were going to learn the truth, you needed him to trust you, as much as you hated the idea of it. His own smile hadn’t faded, as he took your hand and you pulled him up, but he didn’t let go.   
  
He was only a few centimetres from your face, and you could hear the slow beat of his heart breathing as his smile turned into a grin and his grip on your hand tightened.   
  
‘Thanks,’ he acknowledged, grinning wildly like a moron and you just rolled your eyes in response, not letting the disdain radiating from a certain raven haired man go unnoticed.   
He had no right to be jealous, or whatever was occurring in that mind of his.   
He was messing with your own head, and maybe it was time to finally start playing the game.   
  
‘So, what’s the plan?’ Kale questioned, ‘We going to run in there and chop their balls off, or take the silent approach? And do we have a team name? I mean, I like the name Sexy Kale and friends, but I don’t know if we are friends.’   
  
‘Shut up,’ you ordered him, watching him give a rather uncoordinated wink as Levi pushed him forward and he still managed to maintain balance.   
  
‘Sexy Kale and Acquaintances it is then.’   
  
_______________________________  
  
  
 ‘Who the fuck are you?’ the short blonde man growled, opening the door suspiciously to his poor excuse of a house, yet quite big for one in the underground, ‘If this is another fucking hunter I swear ill burn you all in my next meat dish.’   
  
You snorted, while Levi grabbed Kale’s shirt and pushed him towards the blonde man whose face quickly changed from the rather pointless murderous gaze to one you’d sport for an old friend.   
  
‘Kal, I thought you were dead. Should have known they couldn’t get a tough bastard like you,’ he laughed, patting Kales shoulder, before he looked at you, staring at you for a few minutes, ‘Holy shit, that’s her isn’t it? The girl you were looki-“he could cut off by Kale, who seemed to get even more nervous than he had been when he suggested we come here.   
  
‘Yeah, that’s the ripper I told you about,’ he strained, raising his eyebrows at the blonde, ‘But that’s not what we’re here for.’   
  
‘Cut to the chase before I lose my very thin patience,’ Levi commanded, ignoring Kale’s suspicious actions.   
  
‘Right,’ he spat back, ‘Darren, we need your expertise with the assholes.’   
Darren visibly tensed at his words, before opening the door wider and stepping aside, motioning you all in. Kale walked through first, followed by you, stopping in your tracks when Darren placed his hand on my back to guide you in, ‘You can trust me, and Kal.’   
  
‘Get your hands off her,’ the familiar voice of Levi spoke smoothly, as if saying such things was a common occurrence. Your eyes widened a fraction, turning to look at him questioningly as Darren chuckled and took his hand off as commanded.  
  
‘And yet you continue to tell me there is nothing naughty going on between corporal and cadet,’ Kale smirked mockingly, ‘Threw in the naughty for my own enjoyment.’   
  
‘You don’t speak,’ Levi ordered, ‘Unless something of use and importance comes out of your idiotic mouth.’   
  
‘Scared of the truth, midget?’ Kale challenged.   
  
‘I’ll kill you,’ he threatened back, no lie in his words.   
  
‘Go for it, anything I had to live for died a while back.’   
  
‘If you’re going to, please not in here, I have a woman that wouldn’t be too pleased with blood staining our walls,’ Darren piped, trying to ease the tension in the air between them both.   
  
You watched Levi’s eyes shuffle to Darren, his face returning blank again, and you wondered what it would take to really see his façade crumble.   
Yeah, sure you had done it yourself once or twice.   
But to see him truly become something you could define as _human._  
  
‘I apologize for both of them,’ You said to Darren, watching Kale’s eyes widen at your sudden politeness, pointing at Levi, ‘He has anger issues and Kale’s a retard.’   
  
‘Don’t I know it,’ Darren agreed, ‘Now could someone cut to the chase as to what im dealing with right now?’   
  
‘We need to know where they’re hiding currently,’ Kale blurted, ‘So we can spy on them.’   
  
‘Why don’t you tell him my favourite colour while you’re at it,’ you cursed at him.   
  
‘What is your favourite colour?’ Kale asked, grinning.   
  
‘Red,’ Levi answered, something flickering in his eyes as he recognised his slip of tongue, before coming up with a cover, ‘The colour that will stain these walls if you don’t shut up.’   
  
_{If your favourite colour isn’t red, i apologise, but just imagine that it is >.< Red is my favourite colour, fun fact}_  
  
Kale started laughing, ‘Good one man,’ before sobering up and pointing at him to me, ‘He’s a keeper.’   
  
‘Kal, this is why everybody hates you down here,’ Darren told him, laughing when Kale’s face turned serious at his words, ‘Get serious if you want my help.’   
  
‘Why do you need to know their location?’ Darren questioned, ‘You said you dealt with the issue, and were done with them.’   
  
‘Things don’t die that easy, you of all people should now that,’ Kale justified, ‘You have to trust me, have I ever lead you astray before?’   
  
‘No,’ Darren hesitated, ‘But that isn’t my concern, your safety is however. You’re the only family I have left and you managed to get out safely after what you did, and you want to go back.’   
_Family?  
_ You let yourself look at Darren more closely, his golden blonde hair, his short stature with a muscular frame, dark red lips and small hairs gracing his chin. He didn’t look like he had any resemblance to Kale, until you reached his eyes, the same dark blue orbs that Kale held himself glazed with annoyance and concern, genuine feelings, things you didn’t often find in Kale.   
  
‘We need to learn of what they are planning, Darren. You think I got out safely? They are still after me; I can feel the target on my back. I’m in danger wherever I go, and you think I give a shit? They are worthless bottom feeders that everyone’s afraid of, we’ve been them, and they are weak. They’d all get wiped away by one titan before they could say _loser.’_  
  
‘What exactly did you do to them, Kale?’ you asked, watching him place a fake grin on, and wink, ready to give out another bullshit smartass remark before Darren stepped in.   
  
‘Oh, he only killed one of the leading members and five others of them.’   
  
You snorted, ‘Sounds about right, any reason as to why?’   
  
‘They killed someone I cared for,’ Kale revealed, ‘and I wouldn’t let them get away with it.’

‘Took him over two years to successfully figure out who did it and kill them, and avoid getting killed him,’ Darren muttered, glaring at what you now assumed to be his brother, ‘All for a stupid guy that made endless mistakes.’  
  
‘You’re a bloody idiot,’ you proclaimed to him, watching his hand ball into a fist.   
  
‘If only you knew,’ he smiled sardonically, ‘If only you knew.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ______________________________________
> 
> it’s extremely short, and shit.   
> But I wanted to see your theories, I already have Kale all planned out ^. ^  
> There’s hardly any Levi in this, but for the plot to advance we needed this.   
> So, I want to know what you think about Kale and his background so far, and about him killing one of the leaders and five men, all for revenge for whom?   
> Could Kale be connected to the reader in more ways than one?   
> HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHHEHEHEHEHEHEHHEHE  
> And I know it may seem like nothing has changed, but it has, you will see in the next chapter.   
> WHICH I PROMISE, WILL BE OUT SOON.   
> Maybe even on Easter (If I have the time, which I will, hopefully)


	25. Chapter Twenty: Red Part 2

**IT’S SHORT, REALLY SHORT**

**I JUST COULDN’T HOLD IT IN ANYMORE IM SORRREEHHHH**  
I know a lot of you won’t like how it played out, but I feel like since everything has always been yelling, the hardest thing would be the simplest.   
It will get more heated as time passes you don’t even knoooww xD  
_________________________________________

 

‘They aren’t all in one place anymore, Kal,’ Darren informed him, turning to us, ‘The freaks separated, too many of them being killed off, there’s no way to get information unless you  spy on a meeting, and it would take me at least a day to learn of the location of one.’   
  
‘We can wait,’ Kale told him, seeing Levi’s glare he sighed and narrowed his own eyes, ‘You may not trust either of us, but this is the only way to do it without them learning of us here, that’s if they aren’t following my every move.’   
  
Levi didn’t speak, sending a brisk nod in Darren’s direction before turning and walking towards the door, leaving Kale’s hands roped together with someone who could potentially free him.   
Either he trusts them, or he just believes in his own abilities more than you thought.

He was about to walk out, before Kale said some very stupid words that sent your head spinning, ‘Shortass, can I ask you something?’   
  
Levi didn’t turn but stopped dead in his tracks, ‘Choose your next words very carefully.’   
  
‘I’ve seen numerous people die,’ Kale began, his expression hardening, ‘I’ve watched people who love each other lose each other and watch them fall apart without each other. I’ve felt that loss, I’ve seen the horrors of the world inside the walls, and I know you’ve seen even worse. I want to know what you’re going to do when she dies, when the girl next to me takes her last breath and you didn’t spend that time showing her how much she meant to you.  You think I’m all fun and games when it comes to you and her, but it makes me mad. She’s still here, and so are you, and you are both so stubborn and are letting this world dictate everything, you are letting these titans take everything. That’s not something I’d expect from someone like you, but I guess I was wrong.’  
  
‘You don’t know anything,’ Levi spat, his expression hidden as the door slammed behind him.

  
Before you could question your own actions, you walked after him, watching Kale smile at your actions, letting yourself smile in return before the door slammed behind you as well, breathing in the suffocating air around you. Levi was leaning on the building with his eyes closed, almost as if he was reminiscing his time here.   
  
You walked towards him, taking a place next to him, leaning and closing your eyes before you spoke, ‘Do you remember during the time we were learning to use the gear, Isabel was being reckless, trying to beat Farlan with all her might?’   
  
When you didn’t get a response, you continued, ‘I remember it as clear as day, when she got too serious, and had gotten to the point where she was losing footing more and more, you swooped in with your gear and pulled her down, claiming that if she broke a bone it would be a nuisance.’   
  
‘Do you remember the day, when Farlan and Isabel crashed asleep at my poor excuse of a home, and you sat on the rooftop staring into nothing?’ you asked him, feeling the memory rushing back, ‘That day was different, you seemed different, you hardly spoke, not that it was typically unusual but I could feel it. I sat up there with you for hours, and you told me that you didn’t know what you were doing in this world, you were vulnerable, and you let me be your rock, for one night.’   
  
‘I felt different that night too, every single minute I had spent with you before, it was easy to dislike you, to pretend at least, it was easy to deny everything because you were so emotionless. But that night, your wall was down, you were still you without a brick wall between us,’ you recounted, taking a deep breath as you questioned what you were doing, ‘It was the first time I felt something I hadn’t thought I could feel in this world, and it scared me to death.’   
  
You closed your eyes tighter as you continued, ‘When you left me, broke the promise, I vowed that I would hate you, that I wouldn’t trust anyone again, and that I wouldn’t believe in anyone again. That was easy too, hating you when you weren’t there. When I got dragged into the uniform of a soldier, it became harder, quite ironic since you were an asshole like always and it should have been easy.’   
  
‘You were an asshole, but you were Levi, the Levi I watched close everyone off, the Levi I had seen smile, the Levi who taught me everything, the Levi I cried about when he got captured, the Levi that got on my nerves, that I couldn’t forget no matter how hard I tried,’ you felt him shift beside you, as your throat became dryer, ‘Saying things like this to you is basically like signing my death warrant, that I shouldn’t feel these things and the only thing I should be focusing on is exterminating titans, but I refuse to die like everyone else, with words I haven’t spoken and regrets I’ve made.’   
  
‘I love you, Levi. And I’m scared, for once, I’m scared. I refuse to think this is a mistake, you can think it all is, and maybe im delusional, maybe it was delusional for me to think that we meant anything, and that us sleeping together really was a mistake. But nothing changes the fact that I love you, love your grumpy scowl, your clean freak habits and you’re determination to rid the evil in this world.’   
  
You felt a tear roll down your cheek, everything pouring out, confessing everything where it had all begun. You walked to the door once again, watching for a moment the man that was Levi, the creases between his eyebrows had disappeared and his face looked calm, he looked peaceful.   
  
Right as you opened the door, he said a few words that put your mind at slight ease,  
 ‘We have never been a mistake.’   
  



	26. Chapter 21:

(A/N: This is before you were in the underground. Time for some backstory biatch xD)

 

You sat on the steps of the rickety house belonging to your parents, watching your brother throw rocks aimlessly around, one of them hitting you in the arm. 

 

‘That hurt you moron,’ you yelled at him, your vocabulary quite strange for a 6 year old, your brother Kai being the same age only a month older. 

 

‘Mum, did you hear that?’ he yelled in response, getting no answer like you expected,only the sound of your dads loud sighing from inside the small framed house. 

 

‘Loser,’ you muttered, watching Kai as he failed to take your mocking seriously and attacked you in an attempt of a wrestling match. He won, of course, but the endless laughter flowing from your mouth was enough for Kai to know you didnt actually get hurt. 

 

Your laughter died out when your brothers sight got caught on something in the distance, as you turned your own head to witness two small figures limping across the footpath, well one of them was limping and the other looked to be holding them up. 

It didn't take more than ten seconds before both you and Kai were on your feet heading towards them, craving excitement in your rather dull day. 

 

They were two blondes, one of them being quite tall who was holding the shorter boy up, and had a cut mark behind his ear that didn't look like it would be noticeable if it wasn't so red, and the other one was holding his right ankle up in pain. 

 

‘Hi,’ your brother greeted them, the tall one smiling brightly at the new company while the obviously injured one looked as though he’d rather be in the pits of hell. 

 

‘Hello, I’m-’ the tall one said back, before being elbowed in the ribs by his companion, in which they both had a stare down before the tall one nodded in agreement as to whatever there silent conversation was, ‘Hi, I’m uhm, I’m Teddy.’ 

 

Kai let out a bark of laughter rudely, snorting as he looked at you and raised his eyebrows, before you cracked and giggled, ‘Teddy?’ 

 

The boy nodded, not scowling as you'd assume if someone insulted your name like that, ‘Call me teddy,’ the boy didnt even seem remotely phased, ‘And this is Dan.’ 

 

The shorter boy scowled at him when the name Dan was said, growling in frustration. 

 

‘How old are you?’ Kai asked innocently, his curiosity beaming at the possibility of a new friend. 

 

‘I’m six,’ Teddy answered, smiling back just as brightly, ‘And Dan is seven.’ 

 

‘What happened to your leg?’ you asked Dan, watching him as he hissed in pain whenever Teddy moved the wrong way. 

 

‘None of your buisness,’ he spat out, obviously not in the mood, you were about to ask why he was so rude before the shuffling of more steps were heard and a wild looking girl appeared, she had unruly brown hair and bright green eyes, the eyes that contained some form of annoyance when she laid eyes on us, she also looked a lot older than us, almost 12 or 13.

 

‘Come on, hurry up you idiots,’ she ordered them, sighing when teddy gave her a hopeless look, she picked dan up with all her strength, holding her hand out for teddy to grab onto, losing patience when he didn’t respond, ‘Listen, I don't care about you right now, you arent the one with a broken ankle, so if you want to stay here then stay.’

 

His eyes brightened at this and the girl sighed, her eyes narrowing at him, ‘Fine, but get back before it’s too dark or you’ll be in massive trouble.’ 

 

He looked frightened, but before he could say anything the girl was off and Kai was already next to him and patting him on the back, holding his hand out to him, ‘We are going to be best friends.’ 

 

Teddy looked excited, eyes flickering from both you and Kai before looking down at the ground, ‘I’ve never had any friends.’ 

 

Kai laughed, ‘It's okay, neither have we. My names Kai, but I want a cool name like yours.’ 

 

It was funny how one minute your brother was making fun of his name and now he admired it, ‘And this is my ugly sister (y/n).’ 

 

You hit him on his arm, causing him to screech and point an accusing finger at you in defiance.

 

‘I don’t think she’s ugly,’ Teddy smiled, you returning one with rosy pink cheeks. 

 

‘She eats dirt,’ Kai offered to change his mind, earning another hit from you when you got slightly upset. 

 

You laughed it off when Kai screeched again, but joined in on the laughter. 

It wasn't long before you were all playing with rocks, seeing who could throw the farthest and laughing at stupid child things. 

 

‘What happened to Dan’s leg?’ Kai asked, not seeming to notice the sudden change of attitude the boy had when he mentioned it. 

 

‘He fell,’ Teddy muttered lamely, obviously down, ‘Our dad pushed him.’ 

 

‘Oh,’ Kai replied, his intelligence only seeming to manage that word apparently, ‘We have a sick mum.’ 

 

This was beginning to sound like a competition on whose life sucked more. 

 

‘We don’t have a mum,’ Teddy countered, his eyes watering, ‘She was too scared of the monsters to stay alive.’

 

‘It’s okay,’ Kai told him, ‘You have us now.’ 

 

‘Yeah, and we are pretty funny,’ you informed him, Kai grinning. 

 

‘I’m funny, you eat dirt,’ he yelled in defiance before you tackled him, pulling Teddy down with you, all of you laughing like you didn't have a problem in the world. 

*

*

*

 

The terrain around you was anything but sweet, smelling like dumpsters and rats, air thick and suffocating, overall buildings crumbling and destroyed. Perfect scenery for filth, hence why it was a local habitat for hunters. 

 

You watched Levi jump from the next building to the next with incredible speed and stealth, finding yourself admiring him before your own very eyes. His eyes were narrowed like a predator, and when they caught with your own you saw his expression soften, getting lost in the darkness that were his dull eyes filled with loss. 

 

Ever since your confession, he always seemed to look deep in thought, and whenever you’d catch his eye he wouldn’t look away, almost as if his eyes were pleading with himself to let his mouth speak what it wanted to. 

Whenever you’d make simple physical contact, or just being close enough for goose bumps, a match presented itself for fire, and you felt the overwhelming urge to light it. 

 

‘I didn’t think sex was possible through eye contact,’ the voice you had become used to hearing raised itself, a grin obvious without even looking at him, ‘But you guys are doing some serious dirty through the power of sight.’ 

 

You turned to look at Kale, his deep blue eyes lightened with humour as his grin grew wider, ‘Do you ever take situations seriously?’ 

 

‘Rarely,’ he answered, shrugging, ‘But you make it hard for me baby ripper.’ 

 

You shook your head, turning back to Levi and waiting for his signal, this seemed to fuel Kale’s amusement more as he got closer to you. 

 

‘You know, I’m surprised you haven’t figured it out yet,’ Kale commented, ‘I’m rather insulted actually, I was your first after all.’ 

 

You raised your eyebrows questioningly, ‘If you’re trying to be mysterious, you’re seriously failing.’ 

 

‘Don’t have to try, sweetheart,’ he whispered in your ear, getting significantly closer before laughing and stepping back, ‘For such a smart girl, you seriously can be clueless.’ 

 

You turned to look at him, ‘For such a stupid asshole, you seriously can be.. Nope, that’s it you’re just a stupid asshole.’ 

 

He grinned again, his dimples on full show, ‘I’m not stupid, which is lucky for you since you seem to have a thing for assholes.’ 

 

You narrowed your eyes, as he took that as an invitation to annoy you further, ‘Oh, Levi, do you remember when we used to skip down to the tomato stall and squeeze the juice into each others mouths?!’ he taunted, and you were fully intendant on slapping him before your mouth twitched. 

 

‘My my, is (y/n) actually finding amusement in the situation?’ he shook his head, ‘Full of surprises.’ 

 

You stepped forward, smiling sickenly before slapping him straight across the face, ‘How’s that for surprise? Don’t eavesdrop on conversations, it’s not polite.’ 

 

‘And you just scream polite,’ he muttered, rubbing his cheek, ‘I can’t imagine what else you’d scream when a certain time called for it.’ 

 

You rolled your eyes, placing your focus on Levi again, who just at that time, raised his hand, giving you the signal, ‘You so much as make a noise, I’ll slap you again.’ 

 

‘I’d rather you scream my name,’ he informed, cracking his knuckles. 

 

‘I’d rather you die,’ you snap back, and he laughed, a genuine and almost warm laugh. 

 

Before he could attack back, you lept off the building you were situated on, jumping from roof to roof towards Levi, feeling Kale beside you as he managed to keep up without as much noise as you expected and it wasn’t long before you were beside Levi, looking down into a hole in a building. 

 

A building containing four hunters, five if you counted the one next to me currently whistling under his breath asking for a slap in the face. 

 

‘I tell you, we aren’t getting anywhere,’ one of the hunters, let’s call him loser #1 said to loser #2 who was sitting in a poor excuse of a chair next to loser #3 who was watching loser #4 clean his knife with a sadistic smile on his face. 

 

‘Don’t question the system,’ loser #2 ordered him and Kale snorted, obviously hearing the line before, about a second later you dug your elbow into his side telling him to shut up. 

You were in between both Levi and Kale, Levi not paying attention while Kale looked completely calm next to you.

 

‘Don’t question it?!’ loser #4 laughed hysterically, ‘Look at us, the only one of us that unlocked what we want is inside a fucking crystal, leaving us no way to get the others, yet you tell us not to question the fucking system, are you mad?’ 

 

Loser #2 stood up, eyes blazing, ‘You’re forgetting the fact that our little bastard doesn’t know how to control who he really is, and that we will catch him soon enough.’ 

 

You feel Kale tense beside you, as loser #4 stabbed the knife he was cleaning into the table in front of him in annoyance, ‘That little bastard isn’t ours anymore, he killed his own and he can rot for it, whether he unlocked it or not.’ 

 

‘Do you hear yourself, everything we have worked for hasn’t been for nothing, that stupid kid and bloody Kale are what we need, we need them at our control and disposal, attitude like that isn’t going to do shit,’ loser #2 yelled, and you noticed the complete silence of loser #3 as he licked his lips in amusement. 

 

‘You guys might want to shut your mouths,’ loser #3 commented, his voice husky, ‘Since there are people eavesdropping right above us.’ 

 

The other three losers looked up quickly, you three backing up from the viewing hole and Kale cussing rather loudly. You looked to Levi for instruction, his blank stare doing nothing to change your mood. He stood up, his eyes as hard as his stone followed by you and Kale, who cracked his knuckles again. 

 

‘I get your drift shorty, we can take them,’ he confirmed, smirking, hearing footsteps and wires before four men stood before us, shock covering all their faces apart from number #3, who was wearing a plain black mask that covered most of his eyes so you couldn’t see the colour, and a small park cut for his mouth. 

 

‘Kale?!’ loser #1 yelled, desperation lining his face as Kale grinned. 

 

‘Damian, i’d say it’s good to see you, but I fucking hate you,’ he stated bluntly, making #3 laugh, a deep chuckle that you swear you heard somewhere. 

 

‘You’ve just made things a whole lot easier for us, Kale,’ loser #2 smiled, threats lining his voice as he nodded at loser #4 who just got cheerier. 

 

‘Humanity’s strongest,’ loser #3 spoke, his voice slightly muffled from where he pulled his mask up further, ‘(f/n) (l/n), I’ve missed you.’ 

 

Your eyebrows creased together in confusion, watching #3 grin, before pulling of his mask, showing me the unmistakable crazy brown hair he owned, his dark green eyes lighter with sadistic happiness. 

 

‘Chet,’ you fumed, feeling all reason slip from your grasp, all this did was confirm that you really couldn’t trust anyone, and all people ever did was screw you over eventually. 

 

You didn't say anything else, stepping forward with the most indifferent expression you could muster, and throwing a punch directly to his face, watching him dodge it as his own expression turned serious and you both knew it was someones end tonight. 

 

Not paying attention to Kale and Levi as they began fighting against the losers, only focusing on the bastard that had betrayed you, betrayed you like so many people had done before him, gathering all your anger for them all and putting it all into swings towards him, which he returned with equal strength. 

 

You lifted your leg, managing to kick him directly into the chest with enough force for him to fly back, before he jumped back up and pounced on you, holding you down as he landed a punch to your face, ignoring the stinging as you lifted your leg up and kicked him in the groin, standing and landing more kicks to his side while he squirmed. You grabbed the knife stashed in your boot, holding it against his neck as his eyes turned to complete fear at the darkness in your own. 

 

‘No, (y/n) you don’t want to do this,’ he groaned, eyes frantically searching around him for a way out, searching for something in you that would have mercy. 

You felt the familiar steel of the blade in your hand, flashbacks of these exact positions throughout your years. Your eyes flickered to regret, sliding the blade across his throat, knowing there is no changing a killer. 

 

You looked up to get caught in Levi’s gaze, stood between two of the fallen men whom he had left unconscious, your own vision becoming blurry at the sudden feeling of tears within them. 

Just when you believe you were different, that you had changed, nothing really had. 

All people ever did was screw you over, and all you ever did was kill them. 

 

You didn’t make sense of anything, collapsing to the ground in a heap, holding the blade in your hand while Kale swore into the air and kicked nothing. 

You didn’t make sense of the arms surrounding you in an embrace, Levi’s dull grey eyes piercing into you as he took the knife from you and held you in his arms. 

‘Breathe,’ he ordered, and you it out the breath you didn’t realise you were holding. 

 

‘Levi, I just…again,’ you whispered, ‘I might as well be one of them.’ 

 

He gripped your hair, as your head dug into his shoulder and the tears roamed free on his shirt, ‘You aren’t one of them, and you never will be, (f/n).’ 

 

You breathed him in, the comfort and peace burned into you, ‘You’re a killer, but we all are, and to feel something about it proves you haven’t crossed the line that shows you are still human.’ 

 

‘And I’m here to remind you, that you’re still human,’ he concluded, his own breath slightly lower and his heart beating slower against you. 

There was something so honest about moments like this, something honest about feeling like this when there was blood covering your hands. 

You felt him hold on tighter to you, as though even he needed the comfort sometimes, of knowing someone's there to make sure you didn’t go insane. 

 

‘Group hug?’ Kale raised, urging a humourless laugh from your mouth at his sarcastic attempt of lightening the mood, something so familiar about the way he spoke, so familiar yet so hard to remember.  

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Theories for Kale yet? Hehehehhe


	27. Remembering

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MAKE YOUR PREDICTIONS THROUGHOUT NOT AFTER,  
> TRUST ME. 
> 
> I have some free time, will be replying to comments and everything definitely on this chapter so please do comment what you think.  
> THIS ISN’T EDITED AT ALL.  
> THERES NO LEVI  
> SORRY I HAVENT REPLIED TO COMMENTS

**………………..**  
  


_‘Which way did he run?’ you gasped, fighting the urge to laugh at teddy desperately trying to catch his breath beside you.  
  
‘He, uh, went that way,’ Teddy confirmed, pointing left as you both continued to look for your idiot of a brother, who decided out of the blue it was a nice day for a game of try-to-catch-kai.  
  
You were running out of breath, wondering how Kai managed to run so fast and not stop at all, before the boy running beside you tripped over himself and face planted into the ground, being the young girl you were, you burst out laughing at him, knowing it was okay to do so by the chuckle that left Teddy’s lips.  
  
Your laughter died out when you motioned to help him up, catching sights of the dark purple bruises lying under his shirt that had been pushed up in the fall.  
You let your hand pull Teddy up, eyes still wide at what your somewhat innocent eyes had viewed.  
  
‘Uhm,’ you mumbled, ‘What are those marks?’ _

_  
Teddy looked confused for a second, before looking down where you were looking and his eyes widened, ‘Don’t tell Kai.’  
  
‘Please,’ he begged, ‘It’s our secret.’  
  
You just stared at him, not understanding before a voice that was not Kai’s yelled out, ‘Brother!’  
  
You both recognised it immediately as Dan, but Teddy waited for you to respond before he even thought about moving. You nodded solemnly, still asking yourself how he could have gotten hurt.  
  
Teddy smiled slightly, before nodding his head to where the voice was shouting from, his house, and you followed him as he walked to it.  
  
Dan was sitting on the steps of their house with his head in his hands, sobbing judging by the way his arms were shaking violently, as soon as teddy saw he ran towards him, you trailing behind him slightly hesitant.  
  
Teddy stopped before his older brother and bent down in front of him, not saying anything as Dan raised his head, a bruise around his eye that looked fresh, before both the boys fell into a hug, you walking up slowly not knowing what boundaries were.  
  
‘Are you okay?’ it wasn’t your voice, or Teddy’s, it was Kai walking up behind you with an angry look on his face, Dan looked up at your own brother, a scowl of his own covering his face.  
  
‘I’m fine,’ he growled, getting out of the hug he was sharing with teddy, ‘Get out of here.’  
  
Kai didn’t seem the least bit phased, walking up  to Dan and muttering something in his ear that you couldn’t hear, as Dan shrugged and let Kai walk him further away from both you and Teddy, whispering about god knows what.  
  
You began to stare at the ground, kicking your feet across it, not daring to bother your brother when he was serious like that. Seeing Teddy walking up to them, you decided to walk back to your own home, knowing you weren’t wanted at the moment.  
  
It wasn’t long until you had reached your destination, alone with your thoughts peacefully as you opened the door to your home, all warmth and comfort dead inside of it, everything meaningless in the house. Your dad sat at the chair he was always on, staring at the wall like he had become accustomed to doing.  
  
It didn’t take much for you to turn back and go outside, maybe it was because you knew you could leave forever, both you and Kai and your father wouldn’t even notice, maybe it was because the place was filled with memories of the woman that would have noticed.  
Maybe it was because you wanted some company.  
If so, you got it, Teddy joining you sitting against a wall outside your house.  
  
‘Is there something wrong with me?’ your companion questioned, his eyes glassy as they stared straight ahead, ‘My dad..he says there is, that me and Dan made my mom leave.’  
  
‘I don’t think anything is wrong with you,’ you replied instantly, ‘You make me and Kai smile, even when our mom left too.’  
  
Teddy smiled, turning to you and leaning in , giving you a peck on the cheek, something he had seen his own dad do when they were all happy, as happy as you could pretend to be in this world.  
  
‘I’ll always make you smile, you’re my sister.’  
  
  
  
_

 

 _  
  
  
You’re still human.  
  
_ Are you sure about that Levi?  
You asked yourself, sending your fist flying into Loser #1’s mouth when he gave you another bullshit response.  
  
‘My patience is wearing thin,’ you told him, hearing Kale laugh.  
  
‘What patience?’ he grinned, tapping his foot as Levi rolled his eyes, pushing off the wall in front of both of you and walking towards Loser #1 tied to a chair in Darren’s spare room.  
  
‘I’m taking over,’ he ordered, looking at your bloody hands instead of Loser #1’s face, probably questioning how someone could have a mental breakdown over killing and then pound someones face in twenty minutes later. Before you could object, he grabbed the hand that you were about to fling in annoyance and used a firmer tone, ‘I’m taking over.’  
  
You sighed, glaring at Loser #1 before walking over to Kale and sitting beside him as he continued to tap his foot.  
  
‘Did you just take orders?’ Kale breathed out in surprise, then smacked himself in the head, ‘Shit, I forgot you are fucking him.’  
  
‘Do you ever stop talking?’ You ask Kale, hearing Levi’s firm hand make contact with Loser #1’s face as Loser #1 made another smart remark.  
  
‘Do you ever stop lying?’ he challenged, amused when your eyes narrowed, ‘I’ve surely seen enough proof, I just want to hear you say it.’  
  
‘Say what?’ you faked, smirking when he sighed.  
  
‘My dear friend, I am insanely smart, do not treat me as though I am a fool,’ Kale states, smirking, ‘You should know I am no fool by now.’  
  
You shook your head, finding yourself unable to disagree considering that Kale overall seemed intelligent, his wording could use some work but then again what could you expect from him.  
  
‘I have a theory,’ you heard Levi announce, as loser #1 stared at him moronically, ‘That if I pull all of your teeth out, you’ll look better.’  
  
You snorted and Kale laughed, watching loser #1 squirm in the chair as he struggled to form words, ‘Do whatever, see if I care.’  
  
An unamused look was all you could see on Levi’s face, and looked as though he was about to take loser #1’s life before Kale stood up and stretched.  
  
He pulled his arm behind his head and stretched it behind his back, then continued to crack his knuckles, ‘Time to pull out the big guns.’  
  
He strolled over like the situation was the lightest thing in the world, a bright smile and eyes twinkling as he knocked shoulders with an unimpressed Levi, ‘Lighten up short stuff, it’s about to get amusing in here.’  
  
He leant down to loser #1 and shook his head mockingly, ‘Ah, what do we have here?’  
You snorted at him, as he attempted to be intimidating.  
  
‘If I remember correctly, and I always remember correctly cause I’m a genius, your name is Adem,’ Kale stated, stretching his other arm behind him, ‘Not typically someone you’d think would be a bad guy, a wife and a child and all.’  
  
You watched as loser #1 tensed at the mention of wife and child, and Kale’s eyes turned into slits, ‘Bingo,’ he spoke lowly, still grinning, he stepped back and began to stroll around, ‘You’re fine with being brutally hurt, dear Adem, but what if I was to say if you don’t speak up, I might just take a trip to the good old Adem Family?’  
  
Loser #1’s jaw tightened, ‘Bastard.’  
  
You had to give it to him, loser #1 was quick at analysing the situation, ‘What do you want to know?’  
  
Kale started to slow clap for himself, grinning at his achievement as he looked at both you and Levi expectantly, gazing at your hands and wondering why they weren’t connecting.  
  
‘The amount of support in here is unreal,’ he complimented sarcastically and looking at loser #1, ‘I’d ask you to clap but you seem a little restrained.’  
  
‘What are you planning?’ you questioned loser #1, ignoring Kale and getting straight to the point.  
  
‘You’re going to have to be a bit more specific, sweetheart,’ loser #1 replied, before he was left coughing his lungs out when Levi punched him in the stomach again.  
  
You stood up, walking over to him with confidence in every stride, ‘You want me to be more specific?’ you questioned, smirking, landing a fist on his right cheek, ‘What are you planning?’  
  
Loser #1’s smirk faded and his lips formed into a thin line, ‘What ever do you mean?’  
  
Kale took the lead this time, clearing his throat, ‘Can you just imagine this? Holding a poor innocent wife against me with a knife against her neck while she begs for mercy, and while she does so, i’ll be asking her, What ever do you mean?’  
  
‘Annie is a hunter, and we are getting her to catch both Kale and that Eren boy,’ he whispers, just loud enough for us to hear, ‘But since she’s not active, us others are doing it ourselves.’  
  
‘And what a great job you are doing,’ you commented sarcastically, ‘What do you want with them?’  
  
‘They unlocked how to become a titan, we need them to figure out how,’ he informed, sighing, ‘It’s a faulty plan, we don’t even know how to learn from the titan-shifters, I’m beginning to think everything's pointless.’  
  
‘It’s a little too late for that don’t you think?’ Kale questioned, ‘Where are the other hunters now?’  
  
‘Scattered, only a few are up top gathering intell, but a lot of us are trying to just walk away,’ he informed miserably, raising his head to glare at kale, ‘It’s not as easy as your resignation was and we didn’t even kill any leaders.’  
  
Kale laughed a maniac laugh, ‘Gotta scare them, Adem, gotta be intimidating, like the cold bastard standing to my right.’  
  
He was referring to Levi, who hardly looked amused or entertained, ‘Manages to look intimidating when he’s as short as your little stick down there.’  
  
He received a roundhouse kick that sent him flying for that comment, as you burst out into laughter and Levi’s leg reached the floor again.  
  
You heard a groan from behind you as Kale began to try and get up, ‘That was a compliment.’  
  
‘Stop talking,’ Levi commanded, and glared at you when he saw that you were still laughing.  
  
‘You are the lowest form of human,’ Levi announced to loser #1, ‘pathetic and useless.’  
  
Loser #1 didn’t make any attempt to deny it, his gaze wavering slightly, ‘You’re right, but i’d rather that than a mindless drone part of the pointless attack against the titans.’  
  
‘And a mindless drone following hunters is so much better?’ you questioned him yourself.  
  
He didn’t make any motion to reply, as Levi took hold of his shirt collar, ripping off the bindings that held him in place and holding him up. He grabbed several bindings and took off up the cracked stairs while you and Kale just followed him, Kale whistling behind you.  
  
You watched as Levi managed to find sturdy pieces of rubble that were firmly placed in the rooftop of the building, and grabbed two of the unused bindings and attached them all doing this while loser #1 squirmed in desperation.  
  
Levi motioned to you, ‘Tie them to his hands,’ you did this without hesitation, grabbing the other end of them and tying them in several loops around his hands tightly, as he finally realised his squirming was getting him no where as he glared down at you.  
  
‘Mindless drone,’ he growled, as Levi pushed him forward towards the edge of the rooftop.  
  
‘Let me do it, please,’ Kale begged like a six year old would beg for candy, ‘I’ve always wanted to do that.’  
  
Surprisingly, Levi let him, motioning for him to come forward as Kale rubbed his hands together excitedly, pulled loser #1’s arms above his head and grinned.  
  
‘Suck it, bitch,’ he laughed, pushing him off the edge and he hung from the building, unable to get up and having no one to help him in one of the darkest places in the underground apart from his hunter friends, two of them that were taken by the military police before this per Levi’s command.  
  
Kale turned to you and Levi and began slow clapping again as you and Levi exchanged a glance, ‘Tough crowd.’  
  
  
_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*  
o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o  
_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*  
  
  
‘So what’s the plan?’ Kale asked, throwing rocks against the wall as Levi stood against the wall outside of Darren’s house and you were sat with one leg folded up and the other lying down as your head relaxed against the cold slab of house behind you.  
  
‘We wait for the time of the update, then go back up,’ you told him, knowing the protocol since this had become a more dire issue since Eren was in danger.  
  
‘Why can’t we go know?’ Kale questioned, a rock getting too close to your head for your enjoyment.  
  
‘Follow orders and shut up,’ Levi sighed, annoyed at him ever since he hadn’t stopped talking all the way back here.  
  


He put his hand up in a mock salute, then continued throwing rocks against the wall. His mouth turned up into a grin as he chucked a rock at you playfully, ‘Brings back memories doesn’t it?’  
  
You raised your eyebrows as you caught the rock between your hands, ‘I believe you used to do something like this,’ he continued, throwing the rock into the air, hitting it again with his palm and continuing it a few times before it fell to the ground.  
  
Your heartbeat grew faster at his actions, and your temper grew thinner.  
  
_  
‘Don’t you dare go to them!’ you heard a familiar voice yell as you refrained from throwing another rock at Kai, you soon recognised it as Dan.  
  
Your twelve year old self grew panicked when Teddy ran towards you, his tall figure followed by Dan who looked angrier than you had ever seen him, it was then that you noticed the bag resting on his shoulders.  
  
Kai stood up immediately, but didn’t walk towards Teddy, instead walked towards Dan who calmed down when he saw Kai’s confused expression.  
  
Teddy ran towards you, enveloping you in a hug as he breathed heavily into your hair.  
  
‘What’s going on?’ Kai questioned, as Dan’s usual angry persona was upset and breathing heavily.  
  
‘We’re leaving,’ Dan answered, ‘To a place called the underground, Alexa is taking us there.’  
{Yes, Alexa is the girl Kai was supposedly ‘in love with,’ she is Dan and Teddy’s older sister, the girl from the very first flashback, you barely knew her at all.}  
  
‘Why?’ Kai was calm and controlled, unlike you as you were crying because teddy was crying.  
  
‘You know why,’ Dan replied, ‘We came to say goodbye.’  
  
‘I told you,’ Kai answered back, ‘If you ever left I’d go with you.’  
  
Dan pushed him in the chest, ‘You aren’t coming, Teddy come on we have to hurry or she’ll leave.’  
  
Kai turned to you, worry etched all over his face at Teddy who was shivering uncontrollably in your arms, ‘Go get our stuff, hurry up, get everything I told you to in an emergency.’  
  
You didn’t need to be told twice, setting teddy down against the wall, running up the steps, ignoring your father who was actually moving for once, and ignoring the yelling that had arose outside.  
  
You ran into you every room, grabbing the biggest bag you had and stumbling when it became slightly heavier than you anticipated. You didn’t shed a tear when your dad watched you leave and didn’t make any motion to stop you, your family was outside, not in this old house.  
  
When you were down the steps, Alexa was there with her eyes in slits as Dan was hugging Kai and Teddy wiped his tears. Her eyes landed on you and they got darker at the sight of your bag and she shook her head.  
  
‘They’re coming,’ Teddy informed her, ‘Whether you like it or not.’  
  
Alexa laughed, ‘I don’t care, they’ll be dead before sunrise.’  
  
  
_ ‘Who are you?’ you whispered to him, gaining the attention from both him and Levi as Kale’s eyes saddened and his grin dropped slightly.  
  
‘I need you to remember,’ he replied curtly, ‘I can’t tell you, you have to remember.’  
  
  
_You looked in curiosity at Dan and Kai’s hands intertwined with each others, and Alexa glaring at what your own curiosity was peaking at.  
  
You hadn’t been paying attention to any of your surroundings, only paying attention to Teddy’s sniffles as he walked beside you as the darkness surrounded all of you and your legs grew weaker with every step you took on what seemed to be the longest journey.  
  
To say you were scared was an understatement, walking down endless steps that led to nothing but dark alleyways and whispers was frightening beyond belief. You finally saw lights, trying to ignore the cold air that was nipping away at you as Kai looked back every few seconds to make sure you were okay, his hand still firmly enclosed in Dans.  
  
Alexa sighed, walking ahead of us and motioning to a wooden house that looked more deadly than comfortable. She used a key to get inside, and inside wasn’t exactly homey either, with a few chairs thrown to a side and a mattress in the corner, along with a small dining area and a few books scattered.  
It was warmer than outside, that was for sure. Kai lead Dan to the mattress setting him down in the comfort as they both whispered things you couldn’t make out. _

_Teddy was still shivering and Alexa threw a blanket at him that she pulled out from her bag, he wrapped half of it around him and pulled you in close, wrapping the other half around you.  
  
The next few weeks, were spent like this, huddled up in a room having nothing but the three boys company. Alexa was never around, only at nights, and Dan and Kai went with her a lot, learning about the place and meeting the people that resided here.  
The **wrong** people. {Hunters if you didn’t catch the drift xD}  
  
It was a night that Kai came home slamming his fist into walls, and Dan pacing back and forth that was the day that Alexa didn’t return back to the house.  
  
It was a few nights later that Dan and Kai took you and Teddy both out into the real underground, the night you saw more blood you ever thought you could.  
  
It was three years later that you all met with Alexa again, and you had a choice.  
It was when Kai followed Dan to the wrong choice, and you and Teddy chose the right one.  
It was a year later when Teddy joined the wrong cause, following Kai and Dan.  
It was exactly a month later that Kai died, and you stopped watching over him.  
  
  
_‘Come on,’ Kale almost yelled, ‘You know who I am.’  
  
Levi stood up straighter and looked as though he was about to do something before you shook your head at him, so many thoughts going through your head at the same time.  
  
_Teddy laughed, as you both sat on the steps of yet another house you travelled to, managing to make you laugh even at this moment you were scared to death, because Kai hadn’t returned yet. Teddy didn’t see the point of worrying so he just sat there making you laugh.  
  
_ ‘You know, (y/n), you just can’t admit it,’ he whispered, as you just stared forward in a trance reliving the moments you vowed to forget.  
  
_‘Hi, I’m teddy,’ he greeted your father, who was sat in the same chair, motionless._

 _He didn’t get any sort of response, except a small flicker of emotion through your fathers tired eyes that you and Kai got whenever you’d catch eyes with him.  
‘It’s nice to meet you.’  
  
_ You felt a presence next to you, and since Kale was still standing in your line of sight you knew it was the man who could sense when anything was wrong with you.  
  
_‘Can I tell you something?’ The blonde boy smiled, tearing his eyes away from the sky to look at you and Kai. You did the same, staring back at him and smiling.  
  
‘I lied to you when we first met,’ he admitted, ‘I couldn’t trust you, that’s what Alexa always said, that I couldn’t trust anyone. So I lied about my name.’’  
  
You raised your eyebrow, ‘My names not teddy, but I like it so much better than my real name.’  
  
‘Why?’ you asked him, hardly angry, since your temper wasn’t a force to be reckoned with back then.  
  
‘Because my life is better when I’m teddy,’ he smiled, a piece of blonde hair falling over his face.  
  
You smiled back, ‘It’s okay, teddy.’  
‘You aren’t even going to ask what it really is?’ Teddy questioned, confused as his eyebrows scrunched together.  
  
‘Why would we?’ Kai questioned back, ‘You’re teddy.’  
  
  
  
_ ‘Why would we?’ you whispered to yourself, ‘You’re teddy.’  
Your eyes held no emotion as you lifted yourself up off the ground, walking towards Kale as he smiled, that smile.  
  
You looked behind his right ear, hesitating slightly fearful of what you’d see.  
Sure enough, it was there, the tiny mark of what used to be a scar.  
The scar that proved it all.  
  
You stumbled back, not even knowing which way was up.  
  
‘My hair turned brown, (y/n),’ he said, which you barely picked up on.  
  
‘Who are you?’ You asked him again, fully knowing the answer.  
  
‘I was your first friend,’ he answered, ‘And you tried to forget me.’  
  
Your thoughts were empty, your mouth was closed and your eyes were dead.  
  
‘I’m Teddy.’  
  



	28. This isn't you

ITS SHIT

LOL

GONNA REWRITE IT

IDEK

HATE IT OMG AND ITS SHORT GO HATE ON ME PLS HATE ON ME

 

 

 

 

 

 

'I'm Teddy.'

 

It's not like you didn't want to say anything, it's not like you didn't have anything to say, your mouth just wouldn't let you.

It's not like you didn't feel anything, you felt everything, everything you felt through those young years of yours.

Looking at him, those deep blue eyes that you always believed would keep you safe in their waters, all you saw was Kai.

 

_'What do you think is out there?' you asked your companions, the three boys that were lying next to you on the rubbly ground staring at the stars._

 

_Even Dan was there, who had left his home rather quickly to follow teddy and you._

 

_'Death,' Dan stated, and you felt Teddy shiver next to you._

 

_'Freedom,' Kai followed with, 'Once all the death is gone.'_

 

_'The world,' Teddy finished, 'I hope there's more than what we think.'_

 

_'Have you ever thought about joining the survey corps?' you asked them, closing your eyes and breathing slowly in peace._

 

_'Yeah,' Dan answered first again, 'But then I realise I'd get killed and think, I'd rather not actually.'_

_Kai started laughing at him, that bright laugh so much like your own and Teddy followed him._

 

_'Have to agree with you there, Danny,' Kai agreed, 'But if I didn't have the skill of a wingless bird, I think i'd do it. I mean, ridding the world of the evil we are all so afraid of, sounds wonderful.'_

 

_'Yeah when you take out all the death, blood, titans and death, death, death, I bet it would be wonderful,' Dan added, and Kai laughed again, Kai willing to laugh at anything no matter how serious._

 

_{You found yourself seeing more of Dan as you had grown older, he had come out of his shell quite immensely, although it was very few times he's show his real side to you and this was one of them. }_

 

_'I'd do it for you,' Kai said to Dan, and you could practically feel him grinning, 'I'll go anywhere you four go.'_

 

_'I'd do it, but i'd piss myself,' Teddy stated bluntly, and the four of you burst out into laughter at him, as he raised his hands into the air into a sort of surrender, 'Just being honest here.'_

_Teddy moved his head to face you on the ground, asking you your opinion._

 

_'Maybe one day,' you told him, 'If I have enough courage, I think I could do it.'_

 

_'I think you could do it too,' he reassured you._

 

_You heard someone snort, 'You'd be screaming within the first three seconds,' you recognised it as Kai._

 

_'The only screaming I do is when I see your ugly face,' you shot back at him, and you felt Teddy start laughing beside you, and it wasn't long until you were all laughing with him._

 

_'No matter what happens,' Teddy says, 'Whether i'm in the survey corps, in a ditch, anywhere away from you three, no matter how we split, you guys will always be my team.'_

 

_Kai raised his hand up to the sky, 'And we'll always find each other, one way or another.'_

 

_'Get more dramatic why don't you,' Dan snorted, and you heard him yelp in pain after his comment, followed with his next reply which was filled with sarcasm, 'I guess you're right, even when i'm dead, not breathing I'll manage to find you because that's possible.'_

 

_'It's possible with us,' Kai fought back, putting his other hand in the air and spreading his fingers out against the stars._

 

_Teddy did the same, both of his hands up as Kai pulled one of them to his own and holding it, 'You're right.'_

 

_Dan started coughing, 'I uhm, have never been a part of that kind of thing.'_

 

_'Neither have we genuis, that's the point,' Kai laughed._

 

_You raised your hands, as teddy caught on straight away and pulled one of them into his own and Kai grabbed the other._

 

_'Family,' you informed them, watching Dan's hands go up rather hesitantly as Kai forcefully grabbed his and held it._

 

_'More than family,' Dan whispered, so faint you could barely hear it as a grin stretched out across your face._

 

_'My arms getting sore,' Teddy complained, and all your hands dropped and you all began laughing again._

All you saw was your older brother, it wasn't what you were supposed to see,

you were supposed to see that blonde boy you had once known so well,

but you couldn't even see him.

 

In fact, you couldn't see anything, everything was a blur of confusion and a mixture of feelings that had no intention of being separated

You felt your hand reach up and grip your hair, which was the only thing you could feel currently.

 

'Is Darren, Dan?' you managed to choke out the question sounding so stupid coming out of your mouth.

 

Kale nodded, looking directly into your eyes as if he had been preparing for this, 'He has amnesia.'

 

You didn't say anything, you couldn't, 'He can't remember anything before Kai died, the shock did it to him.'

 

'The shock,' you laughed, laughed like a lunatic throwing your head back and running your hands through your hair, 'He was lucky enough to not have to try and get rid of the memories, the thoughts, the pain, the guilt, the everything, he got the easy way out.'

 

Words no longer seemed to be a problem as they tumbled out uncontrollably, 'Why don't I get an easy way out? Why do I have to remember everything?' you stepped forward and hit him in the chest, 'Why are you making me remember when I spent so many years convincing myself into forgetting?'

 

Kale's face didn't change, no guilt approaching his face as the next few words tumbled out, 'Why'd you have to leave like they both did? You left me here to fucking rot,' you let yourself look at levi, whose eyes were so dark they looked almost black, 'You both left me, you're both as bad as eachother.'

 

'Titans are horrible, but humans are worse,' you whispered, stepping back when Kale stepped forward.

 

'I promised you we'd find our way back to each other, our family, and that's what I'm doing,' he told you, his voice soft.

 

You felt your temper fade at the word _promise_ and yelled at him, pointing at Levi, 'He promised me too, did you know? Everyone fucking promises shit, I learnt long ago not to trust anyone, to count on anyone, and you've just reinforced that. When you left me, I had to start from the sewers, I became the ripper because of that, I met Levi because of that, I became this poor excuse of human because of that.'

 

'And the lies,' you yelled, 'There's too many lies.'

 

You couldn't even look him in the eyes, what were you supposed to do?

He let you down like everyone always did, and you couldn't look at him because if you did, maybe you'd see Teddy, and maybe you wouldn't think twice about anything and just forgive him, and you didn't have that in you.

 

You didn't have it in you to do anything, so what did you do?

You walked, in the opposite direction of him, slowly, ignoring the sound of his back getting pounded against the wall as Levi threw him back on it, ignoring the sound of the throwers footsteps behind you, ignoring him when he picked you up, and sat you down against a wall. You just stared forward, and wondered how you got to be like this.

 

'This isn't you,' the man said in front of you, hardly wavering, voice strong and proud.

 

Your head didn't move to see him, everything cracking inside you.

You didn't look to see him sit beside you, just felt his presence as his shoulder knocked against yours,

'The (y/n) I know would have been giving him hell,' he confirmed, and you could feel his eyes burning into your face, 'She wouldn't be sitting down, too broken to look me in the eye.'

 

'Sometimes it just gets too much,' you whispered to him, unable to talk loudly.

 

'Bullshit,' he challenged you, 'This world is shit, we're on the verge of death every minute and you're telling me that the reveal of an old friend has sent you into havoc. You've seen your own friends mauled to death, seen the real terrors of the world and you're telling me this is too much? Who are you? (Y/N), the strong angry and fierce capable soldier or (y/n) the girl that hides in the walls and lets fear control her?'

{probably the most words he's ever said}

 

'I don't know anymore,' you answered honestly, your eyes still solely focused on the point in front of you.

 

'I'll tell you then,' Levi stated, 'You aren't this, you're anything but this.'

 

You felt that familiar anger bubble in the pit of your stomach for when he thought he knew better than you, you could feel his condescendance, and that need to fight against him.

 

'Hell, the girl I know wouldn't have told me she loved me,' he continued, 'She would have forced me to say I loved her first.'

 

'I refuse to be a part of this act,' he challenged, 'I refuse to admit anything, to comfort you, to say anything other than this unless you're (y/n), you say there's too many lies when you are one yourself.'

 

'Fuck you,' you cursed him, watching him stand up and walk directly through your line of sight without moving your head. You caught a hint of a smirk at the side of his mouth at the corner of your eye when you said those words.

 

 

idk what i wrote lol exams are killing me end me please if this isnt good ill rewrite it please tell me sry omg shit


	29. 'Hard to pinpoint'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guess what’s over…   
> take a guess..   
> any minute now…   
> EXAMS ARE OVER 
> 
> Cheer with me, woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo  
> I’m not going to get arrogant with you here, but I think I passed them at like 25%   
> that’s 5% higher than what’s needed where I am to pass   
> bow down to me, bow down 
> 
> You know what’s funny, for my english exam we have to write two essays in an hour and 20 mins, and you’d think, oh she’ll do fine writing is her strong suit.   
> HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA  
> You’re wrong.   
> I only did one of the essays, really badly might I add which means I can’t get higher than 50%, clap for me, please clap for me so I can feel better about myself.   
> Thanks for clapping Kale, everyone else that didn’t clap I dislike you.   
> So here’s a chapter..   
> I’m finding that my love for AOT has decreased substantially since I was sluggish finding inspiration to write this, so I’m trying to find my inspiration again or my love for it before this fanfiction goes off the rails. 
> 
> THIS CHAPTER AINT EDITED SORRY   
> Haven't even proofread yeah go judge me  
> It's also short...

__  
  
This is pointless.   
  
Those words circled your mind as you counted the seconds for another minute to pass.   
Another minute of what was going to be another hour.   
56,57,58,59,60   
3 hours of sitting, staring into nothing.   
3 hours, void of human contact.   
3 hours abstaining from doing anything.   
2 hours until the update.   
  
After 3 hours of thinking, you came to several conclusions and solutions.   
The first one was that Levi was right.   
The second one was that you were right.   
The third one was that you should forgive Kale.   
The fourth one was that you should kill Kale.   
The fifth one was that you should just leave and be done with everything.   
The sixth one was that you stop being so dramatic and continue on with your life.   
The seventh one was that you should just let yourself be you again and go and kick ass.   
The eighth one was that you kill yourself now because you just wasted three hours thinking.   
  
The ninth one was the reason you were stood staring at Levi drinking tea sitting at Darren’s wooden table while both Kale and Darren were tied up in two corners, Kale whistling and Darren asleep.   
  
Levi looked humorously calm, Darren the same while Kale looked like an outright aberration.   
He really was teddy, and you were so idiotic for not noticing it sooner.   
  
‘I should be surprised by the situation in front of me but it feels so ordinary,’ you commented, gathering Kales attention as he looked up at you and grinned his childish grin at you, while Levi took another sip of his tea and glanced up at you.   
  
‘Back from three hours of pitying yourself I see,’ Levi brusquely stated, and you smirked at him, your eyes ablaze.   
  
‘Love your warm welcomings, really stirs a warmth in my heart,’ you told him, walking casually to the table and pulling out a chair.   
  
‘Stirs a warmth somewhere else if you know what I mean,’ Kale piped up, laughing at his remark but cutting himself off when no one else joined him, clearing his throat, ‘I’m guessing you’ve forgiven me and we can all walk into the sunset together?’   
  
You were over there in a heartbeat, holding his collar up and practically snarling at him, ‘Forgiven you for leaving little old me in what was hell?’ you hissed at him, ‘Forgiven you for hiding who you are this whole time?’   
  
‘Well, yeah,’ Kale croaked, trying to grin but settling for a smile.   
  
‘You’re right,’ you encouraged, plastering a fake smile of your own on your face, ‘In those three hours I completely forgave you, what use are grudges anyway?’   
  
‘Wait for it,’ Levi commented, his voice not giving away any type of amusement.   
  
Kale stared moronically at you, before you pushed him back into the wall and made him wince, ‘For someone who claims to be my family, you really don’t know me at all.’   
  
‘There it is,’ Levi concluded, and you turned to see him drinking more of his tea, now having the desire to shove that tea cup down his throat.   
  
‘Knew that would have been too good to be true,’ Kale chuckled, letting himself lean on the wall and drag himself down, ‘I don’t suppose you’d like to untie me love?’   
  
You turned around and smirked at him, crouching down to his level, ‘You don’t learn fast do you?’   
  
‘On the contrary,’ he replied, grinning again, ‘I learn faster than you’d think, especially with people I’ve known for years.’   
  
‘It’s just amusing watching you all grown up and threatening,’ he added, winking, ‘You used to be so adorable.’   
  
‘So did you,’ you shot back, flicking his head with your middle finger and watching his eyebrows crease, ‘Guess things change.’   
  
He frowned, before shaking his head and letting his famous grin form on his face, his features lighting, ‘You’ll forgive me, you’ll always forgive me.’   
  
You rolled your dull (e/c) eyes, you stood back up fully, walking back over to the chair you had pulled out earlier and taking a seat.   
  
‘I came to a conclusion, short-stuff,’ you told Levi, flicking a piece of hair dangling in front of your face behind your ear. Levi just glared at you, his threatening eyes daring you to say something else aggravating. It was hard to take him seriously, when you noticed how unbearably attractive the man was, even when sporting the crease in his eyebrows and his deadly glare.   
  
You inspected him more carefully, noticing the heavy bags under his eyes, the strain of tiredness gracing his features and the stiffness of his stature. Judging from the way his chest was rising, his heartbeat was at a faster pace than normal.   
You felt an unidentifiable ache in your chest, which you soon identified as guilt paired with a few pangs of pity. You felt guilty because you were one of the things putting him under this stress, and you knew it. Levi didn’t deal well with emotions, he ignored them, and by telling him how you felt you tried to change this. In one perspective, you wanted him to suck it up. But in this one, you just felt a mixture of emotions for him.   
In other words, you felt like shit.   
  
‘I came to the conclusion you were right,’ you stated, face indifferent as you placed your legs onto the table in front of you, ‘I don’t know who I am right now, and maybe that’s your fault because you’ve twisted every emotion I could possibly conquer, and maybe it’s mine. But that’s not important, and I realised that. We have a smartass titan shifter that happens to be my old friend, a hot tempered one being held in a chamber, a blonde one on the run and a shitton of hunters in the mix, that’s  what's important.’   
  
He nodded, his mouth prickling up at the sides slightly before Kale decided to open his mouth.   
  
‘Twisted every emotion I could possibly conquer, she says,’ he mimicked, ‘You know, my wonderful partners in crime, we have two hours to kill, I say we lay it all out on the table.’   
He made a motion with his hands forward, in an attempt to show him laying it all out on the table.   
‘I mean, we’re going to be seeing a lot of eachother why not make the best of it with the truth?’ he challenged, ‘Unless you’re cowards.’   
  
Levi tched at the cowards part and you decided it was a bad idea, but to do it anyway. You let your feet drop to the floor, walking over and picking up the sack of meat and helping him onto one of the seats around the table, keeping him restrained.   
  
‘Glad to see the eagerness that is your participation,’ Kale glowered, smiling, ‘Okay, so the first thing I’d like to ask is, When did this start?’ he asked, motioning between you and Levi.   
  
Levi’s eye twitched, and you could see his rage through his tension. You faked innocence at Kale, ‘When did what start?’   
  
‘Oh you know, the whole,’ he replied, following it with a high pitched girly voice, ‘I love you Levi,’ then following that with an exaggerated manly voice, ‘I love you too except I can't admit it because I’m emotionally constipated.’   
  
‘In other terms,’ he added, seeing Levi’s muscles flex, ‘When did this romance bloom?’   
  
You were about to question him again before you heard that husky voice answer before you, ‘Hard to pinpoint.’   
  
Your head whipped to him in shock, and you gaped at him, he had a glint of amusement in his eyes, before continuing, ‘I’ve got nothing to hide, (Y/N).’   
  
‘Did I hear that right or did Corporal-makes-me-shit-myself answer the question,’ Kale exclaimed, ‘Ladies and Gentleman, I am baffled beyond bafflement.’   
  
You ignored him, continuing to stare directly at Levi, who was staring back at you with just as much intensity, ‘What of you?’ Levi questioned, his tone darker and challenging, ‘When did you begin to love me, as you claim you do?’   
  
‘What if I say exactly what you did?’ you challenged, ‘That it’s hard to pinpoint?’   
  
‘Then you’d be lying,’ he replied, his jaw clenching, ‘Wouldn’t be the first time.’   
  
If he expected to get an angry response, he had another thing coming, ‘I don’t think there is a specific point, but there was one moment that comes to mind. You hadn’t spoken the entire day, not one word, all anyone recieved was a brash nod or some form of action. I was especially mad then, and usually you’d tell me to shut up or insult me, which allowed me to direct my anger to you. But that day you wouldn’t say anything, I remember that arrogant smirk you threw at me when you saw it was getting on my nerves. So I took it upon myself to try everything to get you to throw a fit, I yelled at you, I hit you, hell, I even threw rocks at you. Then the idea came into my head, and I felt so stupid for not realising it sooner, I knew what would get you mad. I started throwing shit in your crappy apartment around, making a mess, a travesty in your eyes. You cornered me against a wall then, spat a few insults, then made me clean it, you joining me because my standards for cleaning weren't Levi standards. I laughed the entire time, it was the first time I had laughed like that in forever, you were such a maniac, and I loved it.’   
  
He didn’t say anything, and he didn’t need to by the way he stared at you with enough tension you could feel it in the air, he leaned back in his chair, maintaining eye contact as he raised his teacup to his lips, ‘What is it you love about me, (Y/N)?’   
  
‘I’m supposed to be asking the questions,’ Kale commented, tapping his hand down on the table in impatience.   
  
‘Shut up,’ Levi ordered, and you heard Kale sigh and drop his head on the table.   
  
You opened your mouth to answer, before three hard knocks on the the door stopped you.   
Levi maintained eye contact, as though this didn’t bother him.   
Kale on the other hand, shot up, glanced at a sleeping Darren and a look of suspicion graced his features.   
You stepped up, watching Levi finish his tea and walked over to the rusty door, laughing at the idea of a friendly neighbour knowing whatever this was it wouldn’t be fun.   
  
And it wasn’t.   
Since a hunter was outside.   
Accompanied by a lot of them.

  
  
************************************  
It's short, apologies!   
SHIT WILL HAPPEN NEXT CHAPTER   
AND I THINK IT WILL BE A LONG ONE   
^.^


End file.
